Fence Post to Seek Republican Nomination for President
A weathered piece of fencing materials says he’s tanned, rusted, and ready lead the GOP to victory in 2012. An eSarcasm exclusive.
A lone Iowa fence post has declared his intention to seek the GOP nomination.
“I’m tanned, I’m rusted, I’m ready,” I. M. Post declared to a throng of cheering fans, most of them inanimate.
Described by supporters as “a pillar of his community” and “outstanding in his field,” Post joins a crowded field of Republican contenders vying for the affections of Iowa voters.
Post vowed to hold the line on government spending, pursue a foreign policy built around “containment,” and to erect himself and thousands like him across the US-Mexican to stop the flow of illegal immigrants.
“As for the rest, I’m still on the fence,” he added. “That’s an old Iowa farm joke.”
Post believes he compares favorably with the current Republican front runners.
“Like Newt Gingrich, I’ve done post doctoral work,” he says. “Like Mitt Romney, I’m extremely wooden. And though I may be as dumb as a post, I’m still smarter than Michele Bachmann.”
Though political analysts believe Post’s chances to win the GOP nomination are slim, he’s still likely to get more votes than Ron Paul.
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