Dirty Weiner: 34 Hilarious Anthony Weiner Headlines
The Anthony Weiner scandal is making news funnier than ever. Here are 34 double entendre-filled headlines that definitely measure up.
We never thought we’d say this, but thank God for Weiner.
Ever since Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) showed his wanger to the world, catching up on the news has been like watching a nonstop comedy marathon. Seriously — how can you not crack up when you see a headline like this on a reputable news site (and yes, this is a real screen-grab):
That’s a Weiner winner right there, friends. But still, we think the world’s headline writers could do even better; after all, this is a rare golden opportunity we’ve been given. So rather than sit back and complain, we’ve decided to take the matter of Weiner into our own hands (yeah, yeah — it wouldn’t be the first time, we know).
Behold: the 34 best Anthony Weiner headlines you haven’t seen.
1. Weiner Situation Appears Hairier Than Expected
2. Hard Times Ahead For Weiner
3. Weiner: ‘I’m in a Dark Place’
4. Weiner Visibly Moist With Emotion
5. Weiner Cites Bush As ‘Life-Long Inspiration’
6. Weiner: Head of Staff Particularly Sensitive Following Incident
7. Weiner Experiences Heavy Friction
8. Weiner: ‘I Didn’t Mean to Shove This Down Anyone’s Throat’
9. Weiner Seeks to Satisfy Demands, Fill Remaining Holes
10. Climax Nears In Weiner Probe
11. Weiner Embarrassed By Performance, Swears It’s Never Happened Before
12. Survey: New York Women Disgusted by Weiner
13. Weiner Violations Short But Impactful
14. Weiner Seeks Missionary For Spiritual Release
15. Weiner Held In Contempt
16. Weiner Thrust Into Public Eye
17. Weiner Appears Stiff During Oral Presentation
18. Weiner Promises Quick Cleanup Following Self-Made Mess
19. Weiner Retracts as Nation Turns Cold
20. Wife Says Weiner Is a Letdown
21. Weiner: ‘I Feel Like I’ve Had the Life Sucked Out of Me’
22. Weiner Hopes to Slip Between the Cracks
23. Survey: 30 Percent of Men Like Weiner
24. Weiner Seen Entering Canal In New York
25. Female Voters Call For Firm Handling of Weiner Situation
26. Weiner Criticized For Shortcomings
27. Survey: Weiner Probe Ended Prematurely
28. Weiner Promises Fluidic Exchange With Supporters
29. Weiner Droops as Support Lessens
30. Weiner Appears Limp and Deflated, Head Hanging In Shame
31. Mayor Puts Pressure on Weiner
32. Weiner Spurts Out Thick Stream of Nonsense
33. Weiner Sweats During Public Beating
34. Weiner’s Stickiest Moments Still to Come
Got a funny Weiner headline of your own? Don’t be a wiener: Get it on the fun and leave it in the comments section below.
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