Rants In Our Pants

Oh, Crap. Someone Broke the Space Station Toilet.

Well, talk about shitty timing: On the 40th anniversary of man’s first steps on the moon, astronauts are on a mission to fix a broken space station toilet. Paging Joe the Plumber…

By (@jr_raphael)

July 20, 2009

Space Station ToiletHouston, we have a problem. Sure, today is the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11’s historic moon-landing. And sure, our space programs have made leaps and bounds in the years since then. But now, the crapper at the International Space Station has — well, crapped out. And the world’s brightest astronauts are struggling to plunge up a proper fix.

The shitty situation began on Sunday, when one of the Space Station’s two toilets got backed up and started to flood. Mission Control, according to the AP, gave the astronauts the official order to hang an “out of service” sign on the door. Seriously. From USA Today:

“The toilet repair work fell to Belgian Frank De Winne and American Michael Barratt, who had to don goggles, gloves and masks. They ripped apart the compartment, working well into the evening. Mission Control finally instructed them to call it a day and resume the effort Monday morning.”

With 13 people floating around up there, the Space Station potty problem is no puny matter. “Teams of specialists” are said to be strategerizing about the best fix for the dumping dilemma. Leaked information from unreliable sources suggests NASA may go as far as to catapult famed pseudo-plumber Joe the Plumber into space to see if he can snake the pipes, and/or become “accidentally” lost somewhere in orbit.

(When reached for comment, Joe became so excited to receive media coverage again that he passed out. We waited for about five minutes, then gave up and went to get tacos.)

As for the cause of the commode complication, some reports are questioning whether overuse could be to blame — a claim the astronauts, we can only assume, do not appreciate.

“Um, why don’t you try the freeze-dried chili dog and see how your toilet does?” we imagine the last guy to use the can must be thinking.

America, we can do this. We can overcome this hurdle. It’s one small flush for man…one giant flush for mankind. Godspeed.






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Comments

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