Alternate Reality

SlutWalk 2011 Organizer Plans One Million Slut March

Across America women are taking to the streets wearing next to nothing to embrace their inner slut. Meet the man behind the movement, Dick Gozinya. An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

May 9, 2011

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Last weekend thousands of women across America took to the streets wearing ripped fishnets and peekaboo bras to celebrate their innate sluttiness. Yet few participants in SlutWalk 2011 realized they were part of an ingenious plan cooked up by one devious man, Richard Gozinya.

It all started last January, when a Toronto police officer declared that, to avoid being raped, women should stop "dressing like sluts."

That’s when Gozinya saw his opportunity. Using a fake name, he built the Web site SlutWalkToronto and began organizing protests. The first SlutWalk took place in Canada last month.

"I just pretended to be an angry feminist," he says. "It was easy — I didn’t even have to change my shoes."

The rest just fell into place, says Gozinya, CEO of Sluts Across North America (SANA). Since then, he has organized SlutWalks in a dozen American cities, including Boston, Chicago, Dallas, and Seattle.

Gozinya says he was just trying to provide a public service. In the past you had to wait until Halloween to figure out who the sluts were, he explained. If a girl went out in public dressed as a Playboy bunny, naughty schoolgirl, or cat woman, you knew you stood an extremely good chance of getting some.

"But these days everybody dresses like a slut," he says. "You end up asking out a hot chick who wears less clothing than Lady Gaga and six dates later you’re still dry humping on her mother’s couch. When a woman participates in a SlutWalk, there’s no turning back. It’s put out or shut up time."

Gozinya says requests for SlutWalks are pouring in from men in cities around the world. He plans to organize a One Million Slut March on Washington DC later this year, possibly in July or August "when it’s so damned hot they’ll be practically naked."

"This is more than just a cheap way of seeing women in their underwear," he says. "This is about the future. By taking to the streets, we’re hoping to encourage women to embrace their inner sluts and come out of the closet — preferably wearing bustiers, thigh highs, and edible panties."

As for the Toronto cop who started it all?

"I could kiss that man," Gozinya says. "I mean that in a strictly heterosexual, totally non-bi-curious way, of course."

Photo: Standard-Examiner.






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Comments

  • Pamela

    This is indeed a progressive movement, coming in the nick of time. Hopefully it will encourage more promiscuity so that shy men don’t have to resort to that awful internet kissing machine invented by th Japanese.







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