Alternate Reality

PHOTOS: The White iPhone Is Here!

Now that the iPhone is finally white, maybe people will stop demanding to see its long-form birth certificate. An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

April 27, 2011

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Mayonnaise. Moby Dick. Donald Trump. And now, joining them in the pantheon of Whiteness: The iPhone. After years of delicious anticipation, the greatest dream of Apple fanboys is finally becoming a reality.

Like the White iPad, the White iPhone (aka The White Stuff) will revolutionize everything, making your life magical and leaving your breath smelling minty fresh.

Also: It may finally put to rest skepticism about the iPhone’s pedigree. For years, protestors have demanded to see the iPhone’s long-form birth certificate to prove that it really was born in China the US of A. Now that it’s white, we expect those protests to die down.

Here’s what the White iPhone looks like from the back. Like some of the better things in life, the view from the rear is stunning.

Here’s what it looks like from the front.

Yes, just like every other fucking iPhone on the planet. What else were you expecting?

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  • Shutterbrandon


  • Mwakale Baby

    Yuppie, one complete pill of apple day is complete :)

  • Kyle42120

    Love this shit! Keep it up. The more vulgar and disgusting, the better!

  • Fitch Mark

    Now for the bi-racial beige model

    • known around the apple campus as “the condaleeza,” or so I hear.

  • Pamela

    You guys are so funny. However, I thought you were going to clean up your image. However I see that the “F” word is still being used a little too frequently; you are hardly promoting good family values. Can you tell me how I can best “block” my grandchildren from viewing your sight?

    • Swgthree

      Try being a “responsible” adult and know what they are doing. Stop trying to make it someone else’s responsibility to protect your kids. (or grandkids in this case) And, stop imposing your values on others, if you don’t like it, don’t look at it! It’s pretty straight forward really.

    • granny, is that you? we could have sworn we asked the nurses to keep you away from that WebberNets Contraption. you know how much it upsets you.

  • Anonymous

    My friend told me about this site. This is the first post I’m reading on this site and you guys just made my day!

  • raoool

    that picture of the back – it’s so detailed. was this photo taken with the original iPhone or were you lucky enough to get two?

  • raoool

    that picture of the back – it’s so detailed. was this photo taken with the original iPhone or were you lucky enough to get two?