Alternate Reality

PHOTOS: The White iPhone Is Here!

Now that the iPhone is finally white, maybe people will stop demanding to see its long-form birth certificate. An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

April 27, 2011

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Mayonnaise. Moby Dick. Donald Trump. And now, joining them in the pantheon of Whiteness: The iPhone. After years of delicious anticipation, the greatest dream of Apple fanboys is finally becoming a reality.

Like the White iPad, the White iPhone (aka The White Stuff) will revolutionize everything, making your life magical and leaving your breath smelling minty fresh.

Also: It may finally put to rest skepticism about the iPhone’s pedigree. For years, protestors have demanded to see the iPhone’s long-form birth certificate to prove that it really was born in China the US of A. Now that it’s white, we expect those protests to die down.

Here’s what the White iPhone looks like from the back. Like some of the better things in life, the view from the rear is stunning.

Here’s what it looks like from the front.

Yes, just like every other fucking iPhone on the planet. What else were you expecting?

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