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EXCLUSIVE: iPhone 5 to Include ‘Invisible Fence’ Protection

Following the implementation of tamper-resistant screws on its products, Apple will begin installing electric fences on iPhones to prevent users from opening the cases.

By (@JRRaphael)

January 20, 2011

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

iPhone Electric FenceApple will install tiny electric fences on its future mobile devices, eSarcasm has learned.

The “invisible” fences will line the inside of every iPhone 5 handset and deliver a powerful shock to any user who places his hand near the perimeter. The mechanism is designed to keep customers from tampering with their devices and making unauthorized modifications.

“We provide people with a magical experience,” one insider says. “It’s our duty to keep them from ruining it.”

The news follows word earlier today that Apple had begun putting tamper-resistant screws on its iPhone and MacBook products. The screws, according to customer advice site iFixIt, are being used on all new units — and are also being placed on all existing devices brought into Apple Stores for repair.

The electric fences, however, are seen as the real key to controlling how people use the items they own.

“Users don’t know what’s best for them. That’s why it’s good that we’re here,” our source explains.

Future upgrades will enable shocking of any user who attempts jailbreaking, porn-viewing, or any other Apple-prohibited activity.

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