Rants In Our Pants

How the Verizon iPhone Will Change the World

Apple’s magical and revolutionary Verizon iPhone is here — and the world will never be the same. Don’t believe us? Check out this list of the ways Apple’s latest gift will forever alter our lives.

By (@eSarcasm)

January 11, 2011

Verizon iPhoneToday, thousands of Apple fanboys are shooting off in their shorts and thousands of hack analysts are facing blank to-do lists. Put together, it can mean only one thing: The Verizon iPhone has finally arrived.

Yes, those same pundits who’ve been predicting an Apple-AT&T-Verizon menage since 1972 have finally gotten it right. Hey, randomly throw a dart at the wall enough times and you’re bound to hit the board sooner or later.

We all know everything Steve Jobs touches is magical and revolutionary, so it only makes sense that the Verizon iPhone — like the iPad and every Apple product before it — will forever change our lives. Laugh as you will, but mark our words: The world will never be the same.

We at eSarcasm have painstakingly researched the Verizon iPhone and assessed the exact game-changing impact it’ll have on society. So without further ado, we give you our final list: the ways in which Apple’s Verizon iPhone will alter the universe we know.

Prepare to be blown away.

How the Verizon iPhone Will Change the World

1. Verizon subscribers will now be able to use the iPhone.

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