Rants In Our Pants

Tech in 2010: The Year In Review, In Haiku

What a year for tech — and what better way to sum it up than with the ancient art of haiku. Join us on a snarkily poetic journey through 2010.

By (@JRRaphael)

December 29, 2010

Tech in 2010: The Year in Review, in Haiku2010’s been one hell of a ride on the virtual rollercoaster of technology. We’ve seen the loss of an Apple phone, the loss of a government’s secrets, and the loss of pretty much everyone’s privacy. And that’s just the start.

Here’s a look back at 10 of 2010’s biggest tech stories, as told through some rather surly haiku.

1. The Lost iPhone

Apple loses phone.
Giz buys it, gets probed by cops.
Man, Steve is a douche.

2. The MS-Yahoo Romance

Bing and Yahoo: hitched!
That courtship took forever.
Bet Bing had blue balls.

3. The Wikileaks Saga

Wikileaks gets huge.
So what’s Assange really want?
Reality show.

Mark Zuckerberg Sweat4. The Facebook Year

Facebook — three big themes:
Privacy problems, that film,
And Zuck’s nasty sweat.

5. The Kin Killing

The Kin comes and goes.
Shame it didn’t last longer;
Made for good punchlines.

6. The TechCrunch Acquisition

TechCrunch, AOL.
Makes sense that the two joined up.
Both are full of shit.

iPhone 4 Antenna7. The Apple Antennagate

Phone called magical —
But it doesn’t make phone calls.
Guess we held it wrong.

8. The MS Mobile Reboot

Windows Phone 7:
The wait is finally done!
Too bad no one cares.

9. The Yahoo Implosion

Yahoo Jerry Yang ShutdownYahoo falls to shit.
Actually, that’s not fair;
It’s sucked for years now.

10. The Wave Goodbye

Google Wave gets axed.
Damn shame, too — such potential.
What’d it do, again?

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