Alternate Reality

Yahoo to Discontinue Jerry Yang As Part of Cost-Saving Measures

Former CEO will be shut down in phases, leaked documents indicate, and replaced with some sort of kitchen appliance.

By (@JRRaphael)

December 17, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Yahoo Jerry Yang ShutdownFormer Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang will be shut down as part of the company’s cost-saving measures, according to internal slides obtained exclusively by eSarcasm.

Yang is the latest in a string of outdated Yahoo projects being discontinued as the struggling Internet giant works to unload unsuccessful investments. News broke on Thursday that Yahoo would be abandoning such services as AltaVista, Buzz, and Delicious.

Sources tell eSarcasm Yahoo considered trying to sell Yang rather than shutting him down but was unable to find any interested buyers.

After founding Yahoo in 1994, Yang became the company’s CEO in 2007 and started diligently digging its grave a year later. Yang stepped down as CEO in late 2008 and has held the title of “Chief Yahoo” ever since. His current responsibilities are expected to be taken over by a vending machine, or possibly WALL-E.

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