PR WTF: When Press Releases Go Bad
Some (ok, most) press releases are steaming piles. But some go the extra mile into complete crapitude. Like these three.
Press releases can be many things: boring, inane, or packed with more lies than a Dick Cheney news conference (if Dick Cheney held news conferences). But they can also be completely incomprehensible and/or unintentionally amusing. Here are three sterling examples that crossed our desks this morning.
#1. Your opex is in the crapex
Hi! [Deleted] Communications, has won a won a deal from [Deleted] TeleServices (SSTL), to deploy its on-demand hosted contact center services for all SSTL circles. This would allow SSTL to expand its call centre on an opex model against capex and move to pay-per-user model, thereby freeing up resources. Do let me know if you have more queries
eSarcasm says: Sure, we have a query. What in fuck’s sake are you talking about?
#2. Paging Dr. Evil to a white courtesy phone.
Software AG (TecDAX, ISIN DE 0003304002 / SOW) today closed a contract with Prof. Dr. Dr. h.c. mult. August-Wilhelm Scheer and Prof. Dr. Alexander Pocsay for the transfer of ca. 48% of the outstanding shares of IDS Scheer (TecDAX, ISIN DE 0006257009 /IDS). The sale of these shares will be part of a public tender offer by SAG Beteiligungs GmbH, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Software AG, starting in the current quarter.
eSarcasm says: Anybody named Prof Dr. Dr. h.c. mult. August-Wilhelm Scheer surely must own an evil lair with some kind of solar death ray machine. We’re staying the hell away from this one.
#3. What eggstactly were they thinking?
Ovum’s report titled, “UK IT outsourcing: opportunities in a recession”, shows that the ten biggest UK ITO providers have boosted their total contract value (TCV) of ITO deals signed in the first six months of the year by an impressive 31%. This is due to a combination of some new megadeals entering the market.
eSarcasm says: Sorry, we weren’t listening. We’re still giggling you named your consulting firm “Ovum.” What, Scrotum wasn’t available?
Image: Steaming poo found here.
Keep up with Dan Tynan on Twitter (@tynan_on_tech) or via dantynan.com.
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