Alternate Reality

PHOTOS: Almost Live Coverage of Facebook’s Social Media Messaging Event

Wondering what Facebook’s big new product announcement was about? So are we. But have photos of the damned thing. Maybe you can tell us.

By (@tynanwrites)

November 15, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Facebook just unveiled its new messaging system today. We’ve been watching the news via Facebook Live, and frankly we have no effin’ idea what these guys are talking about. But here are some cool photos we stole lovingly appropriated from AllFacebook (mostly). This is today’s Facebook announcement in pictures.

Here’s a photo of the gong used to mark all Facebook new product announcements.

Here’s a photo of the bong used shortly after all Facebook new product announcements.

Here’s Zucky sans hoodie and wearing his very finest T shirt, which his girlfriend apparently ironed. Yes, he is also wearing Zuck For Men, the pro-perspirant.

This is how many messages Facebook processes every second, along with a wicked cool lightning bolt.

This is Andrew "Boz" Bosworth. We don’t know exactly what his job is at Facebook, but we understand he does a killer version of "Lowdown." And yes, he did steal that cap from Tony Danza.

This is what Facebook’s "don’t call it email" social messaging service is all about. It’s seamless, historical, and social. Any questions? Good.

This is another slide showing the Facebook "Gmail killer." Wait, did we say that? We meant "universal social email messaging chat IM client thingie."  Have we mentioned that it’s both magical and life changing?

We have no fucking idea what this slide is referring to, but looking at it makes our brains hurt. We had to lie down for 15 minutes afterward.

Finally, something worth paying attention to. Doesn’t have fuck all to do with Facebook though.

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