Rants In Our Pants

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Korea?

(Sung to the tune of “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” from The Sound of Music. It is one big musical here at eSarcasm.)

By (@tynanwrites)

July 11, 2009

kim-jong-il-in-team-americaThey blow a nuke, the world gets spooked
They won’t sit down to talk
They won’t hold an election and
Their enemies are stalked
And if you try opposing them
Your Web sites all get blocked
The North is not an asset to the planet

They’ve been at war for 60 years
And plan for 60 more
Whatever you negotiate
They’ll conveniently ignore
They’ll launch a huge cyber attack
Just because Jong-Il gets bored
They’re clearly not an asset to the planet

How do you solve a problem like Korea?
How do take Jong-Il and pin him down?
How do you solve a problem like Korea?
A country with nukes, a dangerous kook, a clown?

Many a thing we’d really like to tell him
Many a thing we’d hope he’d understand
What if he smokes some crack
And dies of a heart attack?
They’ll replace him with another nut named Kim

Now down in South Korea
They’ve got technology
From companies like Samsung,
Daewoo, LG and KDE
But just above the DMZ
It’s the 16th century

How do you solve a problem like Korea?
How do take Jong-Il and pin him down?
How do you solve a problem like Korea?
A country with nukes, a dangerous kook, a clown?

And here’s Julie Andrews singing the actual song.






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