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Top 15 Reasons MySpace Picked That Terrible Logo

The new MySpace logo may look like a total joke, but that’s probably just because you don’t know the whole story behind it. Behold: the 15 real reasons MySpace went with that godawful design.

By (@eSarcasm)

October 9, 2010

Before you read any further, you should know one thing: Today is not April 1st.

MySpace LogoApril Fools’ was the first thing that entered our minds, after all, when we saw that MySpace had revealed a new logo. The logo, pictured at right, was announced by MySpace VP of Product Mike Macadaan during a design conference on Friday.

We honestly assumed MySpace was pulling a fast one on us — but lo and behold, the new logo appears to be legit. Per Forbes:

Instead of keeping the actual word “space” in the logo, they’ve decided to go with a literal interpretation by replacing the word with, that’s right, absolutely nothing. Macadaan’s reasoning is that because MySpace is a “platform for people to be whatever they want,” the company is giving them “the space to do it.”

Uh, right. That explanation is as full of BS as MySpace is full of abandoned profiles.

Not to worry, though: We here at eSarcasm have uncovered the real* reasons behind MySpace’s puzzling logo selection. Fifteen of ’em, in fact. Are you ready?

MySpace Flatline15. They figured people would at least load the site once to see if the whole thing was actually just a joke. Hey, any traffic is better than last week’s flatline.

14. They hired a graphic artist but ran out of cash after he finished the first two letters.

13. Rupert Murdoch decided on a symbol to minimize the use of words in the logo, because as we all know words have a natural liberal bias.

12. That’s not a “space,” that’s a trailer hitch. MySpace is determined to own the white trash demographic.

MySpace Flatline11. That’s not a “space,” it’s a strippers’ pole turned sideways.

10. It’s a psychological test: If you like the new logo, you’re dumb enough to use MySpace.

9. Part of a new monetization ploy — the space in the second half of the logo will be rented out for ads.

8. It’s a carefully thought-out strategy. Let’s be honest: The less blatantly you remind people they’re on MySpace, the less likely they are to leave.

7. Original plan to change name to My.Sp!ace! fell through due to trademark issues (damn those guys at Aol. and Ya!hoo!). This was the best alternate plan anyone could muster up on short notice.

6. They really wanted to rebrand the site as MySluts, but were afraid of being sued by Paris Hilton.

Scary Crossdresser Man5. Logo looks like it was done by a 10-year-old; most MySpace users are either (a) 10-year-olds or (b) 40-year-olds looking for 10-year-olds.

4. Management team was hoping the creation of the most absurd logo in the world would inspire a scandal-filled movie starring Justin Timberlake.

3. They were just following Rupe’s instructions; he told the designers he wanted a logo that reflects MySpace members’ intellectual curiosity but was also shorter than his erect penis.

2. The designers were hoping the use of negative space in the logo would evoke a sense of longing for connection and community in an increasingly alienated and discontinuous world. Also, they totally blew the deadline and drew that on a napkin five minutes before the meeting.

1. There is no new MySpace logo. The “news” was all orchestrated by those jackasses at eSarcasm.

*We should point out that we have no solid evidence that these are actually the real reasons behind the new MySpace logo. But come on — how else do you explain that ridiculous piece of shit?

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