Alternate Reality

Katy Perry Sex Scandal Rocks Sesame Street

"California Gurls" singer accused of playing Tickle Me Elmo without her co-star’s consent; pop diva claims relationship was ‘consensual.’ An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

September 24, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Sesame Street has pulled a controversial video featuring pop star Katy Perry and beloved Muppet Elmo, citing parental complaints that Ms. Perry’s ample cleavage would scar the psyches of impressionable preschoolers.

However, eSarcasm has learned that the Childrens Television Workshop killed the pair’s duet on "Hot N Cold" for an entirely different reason — to kid the lid on a simmering sex scandal.

Ms. Perry has been accused of playing "Tickle me, Elmo" without her Muppet co-star’s consent.

"Miss Katy stick whole hand up Elmo’s poot-poot," the furry red Muppet claims. "Elmo not walk right for week."

Speaking through representatives, Ms. Perry described her relationship with the vibrating plush toy as "consensual," adding that Elmo was "an energetic and inventive lover, who will probably feel much better about all of this after he’s had a nap."

These accounts were partially confirmed by Elmo.

"Miss Katy used lots of batteries," the scruffy Muppet said. "Elmo vewwy tired."

Although the popular Sesame Street star looks and acts like a precocious three year old, he is in fact 26 — well beyond an age where Ms. Perry might be prosecuted under New York’s child abuse statutes.

Others, however, cast doubt on Elmo’s account, citing an earlier scandal in 2008 when sex tapes of Elmo enthusiastically pleasuring a teddy bear were circulated across the Net.

Here’s the controversial video featuring Ms. Perry and the furry red Muppet:

 

 

Here’s the Elmo sex tape circa 2008 (not safe for pre-schoolers):

 

Elmo Releases Adult Video – Watch more Funny Videos

Elmo sex tape courtesy of Break.com.






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Comments

  • Madhamish

    I wouldn't call the cleavage ample, passable maybe but not ample.For f*cks sake she's not Mandi Mounds!!!

  • http://www.elovelyric.com/lyrics/firework-lyrics-katy-perry.html katy perry

    Lucky Elmo
    :)