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10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

Turns out social networks and socialites have plenty of things in common — you know, like how often they go down and how important it is to fill their holes.

By (@JRRaphael)

August 25, 2010

Paris Hilton TwitterTwitter and Paris Hilton should, like, totally be BFFs.

Think about it: Aside from the fact that one is a social network and the other is…well, whatever Paris is, T and P have an awful lot in common. In some ways, they’re practically indistinguishable — and not just because they both whore themselves out for money, either.

No — there are plenty of striking similarities. Behold, 10 ways Twitter is like Paris Hilton:

10. It goes down at least a couple times every day.

9. Despite the fact that it’s filled with useless drivel, people continue to watch it for hours on end.

8. With just a few minutes of formalities, pretty much anyone can get in.

7. It gives the appearance of having lots of friends, but most of them aren’t actually listening.

Twitter Paris Hilton6. It has its own silly-sounding lingo that people love to repeat.

5. It favors famous people, even when they’re dolts like Ashton Kutcher and Kim Kardashian.

4. It frequently handles large data packets.

3. Sometimes, it swallows some of the packets’ data.

2. A team of men is constantly working to fill its holes.

1. Everyone’s been on it at some point, but the majority of users just come once and never return.

NEXT: The 12 Universal Truths About Twitter

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