Favorites   •   TechSex

Introducing ‘Abstinence’: The Virtual Reality Video Game

A new virtual-reality video game promises to help you practice saying no to sex. Wait a minute — what?!

By (@JRRaphael)

August 23, 2010

Hey, teens: Stop your sexting and put down your Playstations. There’s a new game in town, and this one can help you practice abstinence in a virtual reality setting!

Abstinence Video GameWe swear we aren’t making this up: The University of Central Florida is spending almost $500,000 to develop a VR-based video game that uses “simulation and digital puppetry” — their words, not ours — to encourage teens to say no to the ol’ in-and-out. It’s a far cry from London’s stab at high-tech sex-ed, which featured such characters as Captain Condom and Wonder Vag (yes, seriously).

In the abstinence game, as its creator describes it, “A boy similar in age might approach the person playing the game and ask her to make out, or there might be some sexual innuendo.”

(To be fair, “touch my joystick” and “suck on this” can have legitimate meanings when you’re playing a video game.)

Abstinence Virtual Reality GameSpeaking of double entendre, you get into the abstinence game by strapping one on — a motion-capture suit, that is — and then wandering through different sex-tempting scenarios. On the downside, the suit makes you look like a real chode. On the upside, it’ll definitely help you avoid getting laid.

You win the game by resisting the urge to merge: For every time you say no to sweet lovin’, you get a point. If you do really well, you might even progress to one of the advanced levels in the game of abstinence education*:

  • Level 2: Chafe-inducing dry-humping with people you barely know.
  • Level 3: Awkward handjobs in the back of movie theaters.
  • Level 4: Guilt-ridden BJs. Lots of ’em.
  • Level 5: “If it’s in that hole, it technically doesn’t count.”
  • Level 6: Pregnancy.

* As far as we know, these advanced levels are not actually incorporated into UCF’s game. But damn it, they should be.

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter