Alternate Reality

Rest in Peace: The World Wide Web, 1990 — 2010

Yes, the Web is dead. Kaput. Finito. Sleepin’ wid the fishes. How we’re still managing to publish this, though, is a bit of a mystery.

By (@tynanwrites)

August 20, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

The World Wide Web died this week. It was 20 years old.

The news came as a shock to millions of Web users, many of whom first learned of the death from Wired’s Web site.

"It seems like only a few minutes ago I was posting something obnoxiously self serving on my blog," said a tearful Robert Scoble, struggling to control his emotions. "I mean, it was literally a few minutes ago. God, I’ll miss it."

The Web was declared dead on Tuesday of this week by Wired Editor in Chief Chris Anderson, who implied that it been murdered by video and apps. However, authorities have yet to determine an official cause of death, saying they have not ruled out suicide.

Late last week the Web had been seen partying into the early hours at a series of LA clubs with Katy Perry and some old dude who looks like Ringo Starr but isn’t. Sources close to the Web say ‘Dub3," as it was known, had been doing a lot of blow.

Tim Berners-Lee, father of the precocious 20 year old, was too immersed in grief to respond to reporters’ questions.

In lieu of flowers, the Berners-Lee family has asked well-wishers to send packages of Clairol’s "Born Blonde" to Perez Hilton.

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