Top 10 Reasons iPhone Users Have More Sex Than Android Fans

A recent study says Apple-lovers score more tail than the Android-carrying crowd. After much intensive research, eSarcasm has discovered the real reasons why.

By (@JRRaphael)

August 11, 2010

iPhone Users SexIf you want an easy lay, you’d better stop checking out people’s nether regions and start checking out their phones.

iPhone users, according to a survey by online dating site OKCupid, have far more sex than their Android- or BlackBerry-toting counterparts. The site talked to nearly 10,000 smartphone owners and found iPhone-lovers were also the biggest booty-lovers, racking up twice as many bedpost notches as the Droid devotees. (Windows Mobile users, we assume, were all virgins.)

So what explains this odd phenomenon? We have a few theories. Ten of them, to be precise.

Drumroll, please:

10. After getting fucked in the ass by Apple for two years, letting some random dude in for one night doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
iPhone Boner
9. When you’re an Apple fanboy, carrying around an iPhone all day means having a boner 24/7.

8. They don’t believe in porn — they have to release that pent-up sexual energy somehow. After all, Master Steve never said casual screwing was bad.

7. Being on AT&T, they’ve gotten really good at dealing with service going down.

6. The numbers are inflated; technically, beating off to Steve Jobs counts as a “sexual experience.”iPhone Sex

5. They’re all meeting up on the Cupidtino fanboy dating site. (Seriously — it’s a real thing.)

4. They spend less time focused on biweekly device-oriented releases, leaving more time to focus on bisexual chick-oriented releases.

3. They’re far less worried about contracting a virus.

2. Isn’t it obvious from their choice of smartphone? They have really low standards.

1. It turns out “I have a magical device in my pants” is actually a great pickup line.

(Images courtesy and

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  • Jane555

    Maybe it's because the iphone is smaller and vibrates better. ;)

    But, I really like the iPhone's feature, especially the new iP4 facetime, I don't want this are made use of in sexual. You know iPhone got many top features.
    you can get the magic iP4 features from iFunia iPhone column:

  • I love my iPhone that is funny as hell. Good job.

  • Resnv89

    #10 is the best reason. Apple Fanboys just love to get fucked by Jobs. (Does Jobs still like Oregon Mushrooms?)

  • Guest

    top notch! very funny

    -posted from my Android-

  • xarophti

    #2 was the one that caused me to yelp out loud… (HA!!)

  • Heartace


    The list is just not funny.

    BTW, I have a Palm and I'm trying to decide between Droid and iPhone. The lameness of this list makes me gravitate towards iPhone, because iPhone users apparently DO get laid more than Androids, while Androids make weak jokes to compensate. I do love Google, though. It's a tough decision. Maybe I'll get both and compare through daily use.

    I definitely was not happy with my HTC Winblows Mobile phone, that's for sure… Winblows Mobile is very slow and clunky. Even Palm is better than Winblows Mobile.

    • Heartass


      Anyone who seriously says things like “FAIL” is a moron.

      Go back to MySpace and don't come back until you're over the age of 14 and have developed a sense of humor.