Top 10 Reasons iPhone Users Have More Sex Than Android Fans

A recent study says Apple-lovers score more tail than the Android-carrying crowd. After much intensive research, eSarcasm has discovered the real reasons why.

By (@JRRaphael)

August 11, 2010

iPhone Users SexIf you want an easy lay, you’d better stop checking out people’s nether regions and start checking out their phones.

iPhone users, according to a survey by online dating site OKCupid, have far more sex than their Android- or BlackBerry-toting counterparts. The site talked to nearly 10,000 smartphone owners and found iPhone-lovers were also the biggest booty-lovers, racking up twice as many bedpost notches as the Droid devotees. (Windows Mobile users, we assume, were all virgins.)

So what explains this odd phenomenon? We have a few theories. Ten of them, to be precise.

Drumroll, please:

10. After getting fucked in the ass by Apple for two years, letting some random dude in for one night doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
iPhone Boner
9. When you’re an Apple fanboy, carrying around an iPhone all day means having a boner 24/7.

8. They don’t believe in porn — they have to release that pent-up sexual energy somehow. After all, Master Steve never said casual screwing was bad.

7. Being on AT&T, they’ve gotten really good at dealing with service going down.

6. The numbers are inflated; technically, beating off to Steve Jobs counts as a “sexual experience.”iPhone Sex

5. They’re all meeting up on the Cupidtino fanboy dating site. (Seriously — it’s a real thing.)

4. They spend less time focused on biweekly device-oriented releases, leaving more time to focus on bisexual chick-oriented releases.

3. They’re far less worried about contracting a virus.

2. Isn’t it obvious from their choice of smartphone? They have really low standards.

1. It turns out “I have a magical device in my pants” is actually a great pickup line.

(Images courtesy and

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