Alternate Reality

Steve Jobs Attacked by Giant Red Arrow

In a bizarre incident, an enormous red arrow appears to have attacked Apple’s CEO in broad daylight outside a San Francisco eatery. eSarcasm investigates.

By (@eSarcasm)

August 5, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs was attacked by a giant red arrow while standing outside a fashionable restaurant in San Francisco, eSarcasm has learned.

Disturbing photos posted on tech blog TechCrunch show the attack in progress. According to the site, Jobs was in front of Bay Area hotspot Flour + Water when the incident occurred. It’s not yet clear why the dorky-looking bystander in the foreground — described by TechCrunch as “the biggest Apple fanboy in the universe” — did not attempt to step in and absorb the blow, protecting Jobs from the impending threat.

Steve Jobs Red Arrow

Apple CEO Steve Jobs attacked by giant red arrow as awkward dork smiles obliviously. Image courtesy TechCrunch.com

Jobs is not the first high-profile Silicon Valley CEO to come under attack by arrow. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was recently seen being targeted by a giant red arrow while attending an event at Stanford University, as photographed by Gawker.com.

Mark Zuckerberg Red Arrow

Mark Zuckerberg hastily updates his Facebook status to inform authorities of red-arrow attack. Image courtesy Gawker.com

San Francisco Police were not able to elaborate on the attacks, saying only that a “full investigation” was underway. Detectives were also unable to comment on speculation that Google had been questioned as a suspect.






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