Rants In Our Pants

The TechList: 25.July.2010

Apple finally hands out rubbers, meet 500 million Facebook lovers

By (@tynanwrites)

July 25, 2010

1. iPhone 4. Signal-enhancing bumpers now available. Rubbers haven’t been this popular since Paris Hilton attended the Million Man March.

2. Zuckerberg. Says contract giving away 84% of Facebook is forged. We believe him. How many people can you steal one idea from?

3. CTIA. Sues San Francisco for anti-cell phone radiation law. Apparently they didn’t like the City’s "Hell no, we won’t glow" motto.

4. Facebook. Marks 500 million members with heartwarming Facebook Stories. Followed shortly by visits to Facebook Vomitorium.

5. HP. Tells Microsoft to take Windows Phone 7 and shove it. Those popping sounds your hear are Steve Ballmer’s blood vessels.

6. BP. Caught photoshopping pix on its site. The ones showing oil-smeared ducks giving the Thumbs Up sign were a dead giveaway.

7. Chatroulette. Plans to sic the cops on wang-exposing pervs. Great — unless the cops are the pervs. No, that’s not a nightstick.

8. Apple. Adds Droid X to its page of ‘smart phones with antenna problems.’ Next, they’ll start picking on Britney Spears.

9. India. Unveils the $35 tablet PC. And for another $35, they’ll send someone to live in your house and maintain it.

10. Breasts. They’re getting bigger, say Aussie researchers. That’s why they call it the Land of Wonder — they’re talking about the bras.

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