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15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

In honor of Facebook’s 500-million member milestone, we offer these fun factoids about the social network everyone either loves or loathes.

By (@eSarcasm)

July 22, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Now that Facebook has reached 500 million members, it’s time for a game of Facebook Fun Facts. It’s fast, it’s easy, it’s fun, and so original.

Here are a few things we bet you didn’t know about the world’s largest social network. Prepare to be amazed:

1. With 500 million users, there are now 50 Facebook members for every stripper on MySpace.

2. If Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest in the world behind China and India. Tech companies would immediately start outsourcing their help centers to it.

3. If Facebook were a country, it would continue to share user data, but only with “carefully selected” third-world dictators.

4. Facebook was originally known as "The Facebook." It has gone by several other monikers over the years, including "The At-Work Time-Waster," "The Only Place Where People Poke Me," and "That Site Where Girls Show Their Bazongas."

5. 67 percent of smokin’ hot Facebook chicks whose profile pictures look like this…


….actually look like this.

6. The other 33 percent of them look like this:

7. User privacy really is the company’s top concern. Once a year. On opposite day.

8. Nearly a third of people have posted something to Facebook they’ve later regretted. When it comes to female Disney stars, the percentage jumps up to 90.

9. If all of Facebook’s members were laid end to end, that would be extremely unusual. Most of them are too busy playing Farmville to ever get laid.

10. Four out of five NAMBLA members prefer Facebook to MySpace, mostly because using MySpace would violate their parole agreements.

11. If Mark Zuckerberg’s sweat was captured and used for hydroelectric power it could produce enough thermal energy to light up Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

12. Unfortunately, Sheboygan would then smell exactly like Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup.

13. Some people use Facebook to meet prospective partners for casual sex — but we’ve already discussed NAMBLA enough for one day.

14. Facebook users at a glance:

  • 17% Still call it “The Facebook”
  • 22% Created a profile once and can’t remember how to log into it
  • 13% R reely like 13 yrs old so don’t be hatin’ on em bro
  • 9% Caught an STD from someone they hooked up with on Facebook
  • 8% Had to look up what “STD” meant
  • 43% of all status updates are written while a user is drunk, high, or otherwise incapacitated. These are the only ones worth reading.

15. You too can own one of Facebook’s signature company hoodies; all you have to do is sell your soul to the Zuck. Hey, it beats selling your soul to Steve for a piece of Apple pie.

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