Spinning the PR Web, One Tweet at a Time

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

When tech investor Roger McMoney wanted to promote his latest venture, a site for literate Web surfers with no business model whatsoever but a really cool URL, he didn’t turn to the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, or Wired for coverage. He even bypassed such Web stalwarts as Techcrunch, Digg, GigaOm, and Robert Scoble.

“The old media guys just don’t get it, and the bloggers couldn’t spell ‘dick’ if they had a mouthful,” McMoney says. “We wanted somebody with real influence, as well as the ability to conjugate the verb ‘to be’.”

So he turned to Joey Shbum, an unemployed bartender with 765,342 followers on Twitter. Shbum, who graduated with a degree in literature from Eastern Western North Dakota State, says this isn’t the first time he’s been approached by companies looking for a boost from his massive Twitter fan base.

“Every day I get calls from some of the biggest names in the tech business, looking for 140 characters of love,” says Shbum. “Ham calls me three or four times a day, especially when she’s got a new client on the hook.”

“Ham” of course refers to Hamela Brookling, the social media PR maven who pioneered the practice of bypassing mainstream media outlets to focus instead on the Twitterati, who are known to repeat virtually anything for the merest hint of a handjob.

Brookling’s relationship with McMoney goes back decades. The pair met backstage at a U2 concert, when they both ended up retching into the same wastebasket. At the time McMoney was financial advisor to Bono, while Brookling was dating several members of U2′s road crew.

When McMoney needed someone to promote his new venture to people who wouldn’t bother asking intelligent questions, Brookling was the first person he called.

But McMoney is just one of several Silicon Valley movers and shakers the svelte 30-something blonde keeps on speed dial. Brookling, who was voted Most Likely to Be Caught Doing Blow With The Guys From Digg by PRskeezer.com, claims to be on a first-name basis with everyone, including people who don’t actually have first names.

“Last year it was bloggers,” she says. “This year, it’s the Twitterati. Next year, who knows? You just, you know, have to go with the flow.”

A reporter from a formerly influential newspaper who asked to remain unnamed vouches for Brookling’s enormous power, as well as the seemingly overnight shift from mainstream media to the Twitosphere.

At a press party last fall the reporter says he was about to take a bite out of a ham sandwich when Brookling ripped it out of his hands and gave it to Shbum, saying ‘Tweeters need to eat too, lardass.’

Brookling shrugs when recalling the incident. She says whether you’re dealing with reporters, bloggers, or tweeters, getting favorable coverage for a client all comes down to who you know and how much you pretend to like them.

“Even if I wasn’t, like, totally hot, and every straight guy I’ve ever met didn’t want to park his bike in my trunk, I’d still have influence, because this business is all about relationships,” she says. “That and incriminating photographs. Believe me, I have plenty of both.”

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