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Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Do you have a dirty mind? If you interpret these seemingly innocent news headlines the same way we did, the answer is probably yes.

By (@JRRaphael)

July 13, 2010

Unintentionally Dirty HeadlinesAs a writer these days, life is all about filling holes. The Web’s insatiable appetite for hard news means there’s always another subject to penetrate — and you’d better believe that the competition is stiff.

Writing a good headline — or “head,” as it’s known in the biz — is a fine art. When you’re trying to give the world great heads, you see, you’re under intense pressure to spurt out excellent material. In the end, it’s a balancing act: showing you have a firm grasp on the subject without going so far as to shove your expertise down anyone’s throat.

Even the most cunning linguists, then, occasionally slip in a double entendre (or four) by mistake. Here are a dozen of the best accidentally dirty headlines we’ve seen.

For more unintentionally suggestive language, be sure to check out “20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names” and “12 Preposterous Product Names” next. Where else can you find things like the Young Dong Restaurant, Cum Park Plaza, and Jussipussi bread?

Click on any thumbnail to view the original story.

1. “Ruler Can’t Measure Johnson’s Impact”

Men have been telling this to their girlfriends for years.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

2. “After Sex Sting, AP Governor Tiwari Ejects Prematurely”

Hey, it happens to the best of us.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

3. “The Secret Tip to Getting Pregnant”

Here’s a hint, ladies: It’s in his pants.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

4. “New Yorkers Text Hi-Tech Beavers”

Is it just us, or is that an awfully crude way to describe sexting?

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

5. “Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 Meters”

Give the guy a break — he was tired, after all.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

6. “Large Moon of Uranus May Explain Odd Tilt”

Luckily, the angle of the dangle can help compensate.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

7. “Microsoft’s Bing Grabs Hold of Zuckerberg’s Firehose”

No wonder he was sweating through his hoodie.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

8. “Nationals ‘Aggressively Pursuing’ Wang”

Good for them — sometimes you have to assert yourself to get what you want.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

9. “French B.O. Up 9%”

Dirty in the literal sense. Also, this is news?

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

10. “Small Balls Reveal Skills of Better Bowlers”

Finally, a win for the little guy.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

11. “Microsoft Plans ‘Hardcore’ Tablet Thrust”

Steve Ballmer and hardcore thrusting? Yikes — no thanks.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

12. “Wood: ‘I Feel Great'”

An endorsement countless women can get behind.

Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

The laughs continue: Click over to “20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names” next for even more
unfortunate-word-choice hilarity.

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