Rants In Our Pants

Video Sex Chat Is Coming to an iPhone 4 Near You

Apple’s video chat service is about to go XXX. Here are five FaceTime apps that will help you, umm, relieve tension on the go.

By (@tynanwrites)

June 29, 2010

Well, that didn’t take long. FaceTime is about to become PornTime. As Silicon Alley Insider reports, companies are already staffing up to provide live sex chat via the iPhone 4’s video chat feature.

Because if the most advanced communications technology on earth can’t be used to help you spank the monkey, what good is it?

You’re waiting at a doctor’s office, stuck in an endless checkout line at the Piggly Wiggly, or even at a stop light. Why not try a little live porn to pass the time while you’re waiting? Operators are standing by.

eSarcasm has learned that adult app developers are working feverishly to exploit the new iPhone video chat feature. In fact, there are at least five XXX apps currently in development for FaceTime:

Flash! No, not that Flash. This video app features aging pervs opening their trenchcoats and showing you their saggy bits. Wait, isn’t that grampa?

SchwanzTime: ChatRoulette, ShatRoulette. This app does the popular randomized chat service one better, turning the iPhone 4’s screen into a highly reflective mirrored surface so you can watch yourself masturbate. Hours of hot, narcissistic, one-on-none action can be yours.

BeaverJunction: Get up close and personal with the wondrous varieties of the female form with this app. Simply choose a style (shaved or bushy, bleached or regular), then enjoy a series of extreme close ups so real you can practically smell them. Warning: Licking the screen may void your iPhone warranty.

JobsWatch: Apple fanboys can now get a 24/7 feed from the security cams surrounding the Jacklin Mansion in Woodside, California, home to Apple’s CEO (at least, when he’s not in Tennessee having his internal organs upgraded). If they’re really lucky, they might see Steve’s Mercedes SL55 AMG pull up to the gates. (iPhone splash guard recommended for the easily excitable.)

The Goatse Channel. You’re peering into a long dark tunnel. What’s that ahead? Is it a train? Noooooo!






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Comments

  • Rupeshkumaryadav2009

    mai tum se sx karn chahta hu

  • The The

    Good

  • Dilshan

    Dinasssy