Fart for Fart’s Sake, Money for God’s Sake
Here’s what the world truly needs: An iPhone app that lets you measure the volume and musicality of your farts and email them to others. Yes, seriously.
Build a better Fart App, and the world will beat a path to your door. Or running screaming in the opposite direction. We think we’re about to find out which.
Just when you thought the world of iPhone apps could not grow more flatulent, we bring you Fart Battles. Per the press release:
Fart Battles is the world’s most accurate mobile fart-measurement device, complete with multiplayer battle mode and “Fart-Rolling,” a feature that allows users to prank their friends by sending them an email of a fart in disguise.
Fart Battles is the first fart measurement application to test for length, volume, bass, range, key, and more. Users can store their masterpieces in the playback library and then challenge friends to a battle by sending them an attack across the user network.
No fake arm farts for these guys — they’re after the real McCoy. Though we have to wonder, once you’ve fired off a few rounds into your iPhone, do you really want to hold it next to your face?
Not stinky enough for you? Fart Battles will also include these cutting-edge technologies (and by "cutting" we are of course referring to the cheese):
* Collectible Fart Cards – akin to Garbage Pail Kids, users unlock up to 20 hilarious Fart Cards including the “Lady Fart,” “Stank Robber,” and “Crack the Ripper”
* “Fart-Rolling” – users can trick their friends by emailing them a fart in disguise* Fun & Games – the app includes the “Flatulator 3000” fart sampler and the “FartBox,” a fart soundboard.
Billions of dollars of R&D, thousands of human-hours, and some of the largest brains on earth all devoted into building the most sophisticated communications device on the planet, and this is what we end up with.
Can a smell-o-meter be far behind?
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