Rants In Our Pants

The TechList: 06.June.2010

Facebook’s Zuckerberg is just a boy in a hood; AT&T, as usual, is up to no good

By (@tynanwrites)

June 6, 2010

1. Windows Mobile. No. 5 smartphone platform, per Ballmer. Thus Microsoft’s new slogan: “Still kicking ass on ‘Other’.”

2. Mark Zuckerberg. Remember ‘Never let ‘em see you sweat’? You can hear this guy sweat. We had to take a shower after watching the D8 video.

3. Zuckerberg’s Hoodie. We’re still creeped out by that weird insignia. Return to the island Mark, the Dharma Initiative needs you.

4. Steve Jobs. To introduce iPhone 4G @ next week’s WWDC. Yawn. “One more thing: We’re having that Gizmodo editor filleted.

5. AT&T. Threatens blogger with cease & desist order after he emails CEO. At AT&T this is what is known as “customer service.”

6. Ballmer. Says iPad is just another type of PC. Apparently Windows 7 is also magical, revolutionary, and life changing. Who knew?

7. AT&T Deux. Kills all-you-can-eat data plans. Just in case the whole cease & desist thing hadn’t convinced you they’re total assholes.

8. Citibank. Fires Deborahlee Lorenzana for being “too hot.” We’re still waiting for them to fire someone for being too stupid.

9. Yahoo. New “Pulse” service to join Facebook’s data-sharing party. Because at this point Yahoo will do anything to get attention.

10. Microsoft. Stops bribing users to shop on Bing. Seems they couldn’t pay people enough to use one more MSFT product.

Mark Zuckerberg Hoodie insignia recreated by SF Weekly’s Audrey Fukuman

Photo of D. Lorenzana courtesy of the Village Voice.

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter