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10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

AT&T doesn’t like people e-mailing its CEO — but it doesn’t stop there. eSarcasm has identified 10 other actions that’ll have AT&T’s legal team up your ass in a hurry.

By (@JRRaphael)

June 3, 2010

AT&T Legal ThreatsAT&T cares about customer satisfaction. Just so long as it doesn’t inconvenience its precious CEO.

AT&T customer Giorgio Galante discovered that the hard way this week. Giorgio, according to Engadget, sent a couple of friendly-enough e-mails to AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson — two e-mails in two weeks, to be precise. One, Galante says, asked to bump up his iPhone upgrade eligibility date; the other expressed his dissatisfaction with AT&T’s new capped data plans.

Rather than hearing back silence or even a boilerplate response, Galante says he received a threat of legal action. A voicemail posted to Galante’s blog finds “Brent” from AT&T’s “executive response team” thanking Galante for his feedback, then going on to say if Galante continues to e-mail Stephenson, he’ll find a cease and desist letter on his front porch.

Sweet sassy molassey, AT&T. Even Chairman Jobs himself wouldn’t pull off a dick move like that.

eSarcasm dug a little deeper and discovered e-mailing AT&T’s CEO isn’t the only thing that’ll get you in deep doodoo with the company. After hours of intensive research, we can confirm that any of these 10 actions will also result in threats from AT&T’s legal loons:

AT&T Icon10. Calling AT&T’s corporate office at 11:22 a.m. every day to ask who ordered the pu-pu platter.

AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson and Stephen ColbertAT&T Icon9. Suggesting that AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson might actually be a character played by Stephen Colbert.

AT&T Icon8. Performing the name song (“Randall, Randall, bo-bandall, banana fana fo-fandall…”) via megaphone outside AT&T’s HQ. You can sing it once, but if you hit that verse a second time, get ready for a Shrek-sized shitstorm.

AT&T Icon7. Publicly suggesting that AT&T is not the most evil company in the world. They worked hard for that title; you’d better believe they take it seriously.

AT&T Icon6. Listing AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson’s contact information in a Craigslist’s Adult Services ad. Especially if it’s entitled: “Sensual massage, verrrrry happy ending ;-)”

AT&T Icon5. Addressing AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson as “Jobs Junior.”

AT&T Icon4. Dressing up as AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson for Halloween. Yes, even if you don’t include the devil’s horns.

AT&T Luke Wilson PostcardsAT&T Icon3. Tossing postcards all over AT&T’s lobby while saying names of random cities. Then, when approached by security, insisting you’re Luke Wilson and that you need to “set the record straight.”

AT&T Icon2. Convincing Randall Stephenson’s dentist to only let him schedule appointments for “sometime between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m.” or “sometime between 1 p.m. and 6 p.m.”

And finally, the easiest way to get on AT&T’s bad side in a hurry…

AT&T Icon1. Forcing AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson to use an AT&T cell phone.

(AT&T Dr. Evil image courtesy attcritic.blogspot.com)

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  • YigPoo

    LOL, I think everyone with a computer should send that idiot an email every hour for the next 6 weeks! What a complete and total tool. Who does that PUNK think he is?


  • johm

    Let the emails begin. But instead of sending 100,000 emails in one day, which will be deleted, 1,000+ emails per day is more reasonable.

  • reaper

    he is a dead man

  • Ryanos

    So what IS Stevies email address?

  • lol

  • lol

  • User

    Oh yeah… Steven Jobs would never do anything like that to a customer… journalists on the other hand… he gets them jailed when they tick him off… good example doofus…

  • Sallymay

    shhh, don’t tell /b/…

  • After trying as hard as I could to learn how to use my new phone, I went to an ATT store in Cool Springs Tennessee at 37 days after purchase to change phones. Even my children hate it because its just not very intuitive. I had been out of town for Christmas and didnt have time to get in before then to exhange. Well ATT gave me the option of using my childrens upgrades or nothing. He kept telling me there was nothing he could do for me. I told the guy we have been with ATT when it was Cingular and have kept renewing our contracts. Still nothing he could do for me. I told him that I would find a way out of this phone and when its time for renewal, it will be anyone but ATT. He kept saying he was sorry there was nothing he could do. I said its no wonder Consumer Reports and others have written them up as the worst cell company in front of all the other customers and worker bee’s in the store and left.