Rants In Our Pants

The TechList: 30.May.2010

Privacy, schmivacy. Facebook’s Zuckerberg would rather just get laid.

By (@tynanwrites)

May 30, 2010

1. Facebook. Unveils ‘drastically simple’ privacy controls. Mark Zuckerberg would appreciate it if you’d all just fuck off and die now.

2. Microsoft. Axes top execs for Windows Mobile failures. That’s like McDonalds firing Mayor McCheese for not selling enuf Shit McNuggets.

3. China. Selling Android-based ‘iPed’ Web tablet. And if Steve Jobs doesn’t like it, let him roll out tanks on Tiananmen Square.

4. Facebook quitters. Reports say only 2% of FB’s 500 million will quit. Ironically, that’s the same number ‘sex maniac’ Zuckerberg has boned.

5. iDress. Aussie company selling iPad-friendly clothing. Hey, if you’re never gonna get laid, you might as well be comfortable.

6. DOJ. Feds investigating Apple for multiple violations. Apparently Jobs is accused of violating the Sherman Anti-Asshole Act.

7. Steve Ballmer. Will not appear at the Apple Developers conference after all. Bad news for the guys working the sweat poncho concession.

8. Apple. Passed Microsoft as “most valuable” tech company this week. Already voted “most cuddly tech company” by fanboys. 

9. Nokia. Teams up with Yahoo to take mobile market by storm. Apparently CompuServe and Prodigy turned them down.

10. Mark Gasson. First human to be infected with a computer virus. Apparently he also caught an STD from using Facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook ho’s courtesy of Sydney Morning Herald.>

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