Not Now, Honey — I’m Cooking Bacon On My Phone
Your phone might be able to surf the Web and give you directions, but can it simulate the art of cooking bacon? Uh huh. That’s what we thought.
When it comes to pointless programs, the iPhone is the place to be. You’ve already got such winning options as virtually drinking milk or simulating the fun-filled act of stapling. Now, add onto that list of excitement iBacon, the app that lets you pretend to cook cured pig meat right on your widescreen display.
From the official iBacon App Store description:
“Impress your friends as you cook bacon right on your iPhone or iPod Touch, taking it from raw to cooked by using virtual tongs to flip this universally delicious pork product.”
Now, lest you think iBacon is some low-quality concoction, its programmers are quick to point out that it uses “full-motion video” and takes advantage of the iPhone’s multi-touch system and accelerometer, too. You can pour off grease by tilting the device, for example, or clean spatters from the screen by swiping your finger.
Enthralling as that may be, we’ll leave the sizzling to the kitchen (and, on every fourth Tuesday, the bedroom). We’d far rather see the debut of iAgra, 1NightStan, or any of the other titillating apps we envisioned in our adult-oriented wishlist. Now, THOSE are activities worth simulating.
Keep up with JR Raphael on Twitter (@jr_raphael) or via jrstart.com.
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