Rants In Our Pants

Six More Ways to Deeply Offend Religious People on Facebook

Why stop at drawing Mohammed? There are plenty of other religious icons worth mocking online. Brace yourselves for possibly the most offensive eSarcasm post ever.

By (@tynanwrites)

May 21, 2010

Editor’s note: The following blog post is recommended for immature audiences only. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Yesterday’s Everybody Draw Mohammed Day on Facebook was a resounding success, resulting in hundreds of clever drawings and an entire nation (Pakistan) banning access to the site.

But why stop at insulting Islam? There are dozens of other major and minor world religions worthy of mockery on the InterWebs. A blasphemy here, a desecration there, and before you know it, Facebook is banned worldwide. Poof, no more privacy problems. Lots more time to get actual work done instead of playing Farmville. Simple, no?

With that in mind, here are some Sarc-religious Internet holidays we’d like to see.

Grope the Pope Day

To commemorate the Vatican’s stand on priests molesting children (we know nothing about it, we didn’t do it, and it will never happen again) Facebook users will be urged to grope the nearest member of the Catholic clergy — ideally, the Supreme Pontiff himself — and post photos and videos of the incidents online.

Pin the Bra on Buddha

The keys to enlightenment? Willingness to live in the moment, an ego-less understanding of our essential nature, and manboobs. Gently firm and shape them with some lovely underwire-based undergarments from Victoria’s Secret.

#Shiva Be a Skeeza Cuz…

Join Twitter fans for 24 hours of hashtag hilarity as they reveal in 140 characters or less how they’d bust dat Hindu beeyotch.

Pimp My Crucifix

It’s been more than 2000 years, and yet our Lord and Savior is still rockin’ the same ride. Jack it up with chrome rims, mudflaps, and other automotive accessories, and you’ll be cruising to salvation in style.

Moses Ho’s

When not leading his people through the desert, parting the Red Sea, or bringing the tablets down from Mount Sinai, Moses was a playa. If he were alive today, who would he hook up with? Nominate your faves on Facebook. (We’re going with Scarlett Johansson.)

Dressing up Dalai

Saffron robes, they’re so 9th century. If anyone needed a top-to-bottom wardrobe overhaul, it’s His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama. Post your makeovers online and spin the Karmic wheel – you may have already won.

Is there anyone out there whom we haven’t deeply offended? If so, please email us (contact@esarcasm.com) and we’ll get right on it.

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