Alternate Reality   •   Favorites

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Facebook’s been taking it in the ‘nads after revealing new data sharing plans some folks think are too revealing. eSarcasm digs into the truth behind the controversy.

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Facebook has been making headlines after it announced its intention to strip its members naked and bare their secrets to the world. (Or something like that.) Some people love Facebook’s plan, others say they’d rather spoon with Michael Arrington than spend another day on the site.

What’s the real truth? We decided to dig a little deeper, taking a scientific sampling of Facebook users and performing post-facto forward and backward regression analyses on the data. Then we cooked the data over a low flame for three hours until the edges were nice and crisp. The results are fascinating.

As the following Venn diagram shows, people who like the fact that Facebook is buttering their personal information over the Net enhancing their online lives via its new “instant personalization” features fall into three distinct groups:

Meanwhile, respondents who say they don’t care for Facebook’s newly cavalier attitude toward their personal information are much more fragmented:

Finally, we conducted a survey around Facebook’s “Like” button but were too lazy to put the results into a chart. Here’s what we found:

*27% Really like Facebook’s Like button
* 23% Are merely pretending to really like Facebook’s Like button so as not to hurt its feelings
* 17% Will click on friggin anything
* 33% Are totally indifferent to Facebook’s Like button but really excited about eSarcasm’s Indifferent button.

The results speak for themselves. As to what they actually mean, though, we haven’t a fucking clue.

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter