School excursion anyone?

“If you’re an elementary or middle school teacher in upstate New York and you’re looking for a unique field trip opportunity, you may have found just the ticket.

Unlike other field trips, we never charge admission for students or teachers, and our parking is always convenient and ample.

And if you’re looking for a great way to hammer home the early education against sexual promiscuity (for your science, health or home economics class) we’ve got the active lab that will make the skin crawl worse than the hissing cockroach exhibit!

Check out our ‘Scared Abstinent‘ tours as well. It’s a great way to combine your own twisted fetish and a Saturday out with the girls of the church youth group.

Email us today to check availability and set a time to come on out. We look forward to seeing you as a friend first, so hopefully you’ll never have to see us as a client.”