Alternate Reality

Microsoft Kin Prototype Found at Redmond-Area Bar

Man identifying himself as “Gill Bates” leaves device behind at pub; owner now asking him to come back and retrieve it.

By (@JRRaphael)

April 22, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Microsoft Kin Phone Found at BarA bar in Redmond, Washington is looking for the owner of a Microsoft Kin phone. The device, apparently a prototype of Microsoft’s upcoming new handset, was left behind at the Blue Lion Pub late Wednesday. It has the words “TOP SECRET!!” written in silver Sharpie along the top and a list of media contacts taped to the back.

“Guy walks in, sets the phone on the counter, then walks out five minutes later,” a Blue Lion bartender tells eSarcasm. “He mumbled something about it being a hot new device and said I should e-mail someone named ‘Gizmodo’ to cash in.”

The man, according to witnesses, was a white, middle-aged male with side-parted hair and glasses. He was wearing a black sweater and reportedly referred to himself as “Gill Bates.”

Bar Security Photo“Dude was clearly trying to drop that phone here for some reason,” one patron, who asked not to be identified by name, tells eSarcasm. “A few people came by later and picked it up, but they all just ended up chuckling and putting it right back down.”

Blue Lion owner Ron Sanders tells eSarcasm he tried selling the Kin prototype to customers, news organizations, and even area pawn shops, but no one would take the device.

“Look, if this ‘Gill Bates’ fella’s reading this, come get your stinkin’ phone,” Sanders says. “It’s taking up too much room in the lost and found.”

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter