Alternate Reality

More Hidden Apple iPhone 4Gs Found!

Prototypes of Apple’s exciting new iPhone 4G are showing up everywhere — in bars, strip clubs, sock drawers, and more. An eSarcasm special report.

By (@tynanwrites)

April 19, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

It’s raining Apple iPhone 4Gs. Hallelujah.

The deluge started early on Saturday morning, when an alleged prototype of the yet-to-be-announced iPhone 4G was found on a barroom floor by Engadget staffers, who coincidentally are also often found on barroom floors.

Per Engadget:

Apparently the phone was found on the floor of a San Jose bar inside of an iPhone 3G case. Right now we don’t have a ton of info on the device in question, but we can tell you that it apparently has a front facing camera (!), 80GB of storage (weird, right?), and isn’t booting at this point (though it was previously, and running an OS that was decidedly new).

The Mystery Jesus Phone was then somehow obtained by rival gadget-mongers Gizmodo, who performed a vivisection on the device and determined that, yes, it really was an Apple product and not some Chinese knockoff or the fictional creation of a Web site willing to do anything to generate traffic.

eSarcasm can now confirm both Engadget’s and Gizmodo’s stories. Because we just discovered another camouflaged iPhone 4G. This one was stuffed into the G-string of a hard-working member of the exotic dancing industry, apparently by a patron who had run out of dollar bills. Our eagle-eyed reporter spotted the device and snatched it from her, umm, person, before being escorted from the premises and asked to not return. (Nice work, JR.)

In this instance the 4G handset was hidden inside the cover of a Microsoft Zune HD, so we very nearly tossed it into a dumpster. But there was something just a little off about it that caught our eye. (Perhaps it was the way the cover was scotch-taped together, or the words "top sekrit" scratched into the screen.)

Still, we were deeply skeptical. But when we brought it back to our eLabs and opened it up, we found this:

Pretty conclusive proof, don’t you think?

Reports are now pouring in of other camouflaged iPhone 4Gs being found in taxi cabs, abandoned baby carriages, John Gruber’s sock drawer, and Lady GaGa’s hair.

Analysts contacted by eSarcasm speculate that this is yet another fiendishly clever marketing campaign by Apple to generate buzz for one of its products.

“After the Apple iPad and iPhone 4.0 OS announcements, Apple fanboys’ spunk is pretty much tapped,” he says. “They’ve got to do something pretty dramatic to get those boys hard again.”

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