Um, About Those Slutty Photos You Uploaded…

A new study is providing scientific perspective into the effects of uploading slutty photos on the Web. God, we wish we were on that research team.

By (@JRRaphael)

June 24, 2009

Party GirlsThe Internet has revolutionized the notion of “amateur action.” No longer is the phenomenon limited to casual-acting porn stars pretending to be regular people, posing for our benefit as next-door neighbors caught in the heat of passion. No, sir: These days, we can see plenty of real girls sluttin’ it up and showin’ it off, all thanks to the beauty of the Net. (Those of us at eSarcasm, of course, have no experience viewing such materials and discuss this purely out of academic interest.)

Now, thanks to some evidently bored researchers at the University of Cincinnati, we’re getting a scientific look at how uploading those not-so-modest photos affects a young gal’s life. Prepare to be enlightened.

The Slutty Photo Study

Okay…you ready for this? The university’s study found that young girls who upload “provocative” photos of themselves to the Web — brace yourself — are “more likely to be approached sexually.”

Holy Paris Hilton! You mean to tell me that guys are going to hit on girls who are wearing skimpy clothes and making sexually suggestive gestures? Even on the Internet, where approaching someone involves no eye contact or immediate fear of rejection? Well, tickle my toes and call me Tootsie. Who woulda thought.

But wait, there’s more: The report also finds that girls who show off revealing pictures online are more likely to respond to their suitors’ advances, even meeting up in person for what we can only assume is — gasp! — some form of sexual congress. Oh, the humanity.

In other news, that really drunk chick at the bar wearing a tight tank top and short skirt might just put out tonight.

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter