Alternate Reality

EXCLUSIVE: Justin Bieber Is Actually Hilary Swank

Teen heartthrob is actually Oscar-winning actress, sources reveal. Formal acknowledgement expected within weeks.

By (@jr_raphael)

April 23, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Justin Bieber, Hilary SwankIn a scandal sure to rock the entertainment world, eSarcasm has learned that 16-year-old singing sensation Justin Bieber is actually Hilary Swank.

Swank confessed to the ongoing masquerade during a drunken evening with friends, according to people close to the situation.

“She started it as a joke, mainly just to see if anyone would buy into the idea,” a source who spoke on the condition of anonymity explains. “She never expected it to go this far.”

Swank apparently created the Justin Bieber character on a whim, filming a series of short videos from her Hollywood home and uploading them to YouTube. The videos caught the eye of established recording artist Usher, who — unaware of Bieber’s true identity or the comedic intention of the clips — signed the seemingly budding star to his label.

“Hilary thought people would immediately know it was her joking around,” a friend says. “She just assumed Usher was playing along for laughs.”

Justin Bieber, Hilary Swank

Despite the success Swank-as-Bieber has achieved, the actress’s confidants believe the breaking point will come soon.

“Look, the kid’s supposed to be 16 — she can only pretend he hasn’t hit puberty for so long,” a source tells eSarcasm. “Sooner or later she’s going to run out of explanations for his unchanged voice and lack of body hair.”

Insiders say Swank will likely own up to the prank within the next several weeks. Once her real identity is disclosed, she’s expected to relaunch her music career in earnest, using the name “BieberSwank” in an effort to placate angry fans.






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Comments

  • http://www.facebook.com/dan.tynan Dan Tynan

    Yeah, making fun of transsexuals is always good for a laugh. Asshat.

    • mcisco

      How does this article make fun of transsexuals in any way whatsoever? Touchy…

  • Mary J.

    He does look like a little girl (probably sings like one, too)

  • dr92060

    “Boys Don't Cry”

  • dr92060

    “Boys Don't Cry”

  • Bb…!!

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……………………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! never imagined this…BWAHAHAHAHAAH

  • Manoelatutuca@hotmail.com

    que sabe a 1 mulher e fei ea 2 segunda e bonnnnnnnnnnittttta

  • rilari

    elas sao o riveis mais o justin bieber e lindo

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=701944804 Christine Brunton

    He looks like young Donny Osmond in this photo!! LOLLLL