Because Sometimes a Fake Vagina Just Isn’t Enough

Why settle for “dating” a porn star’s plastic hootchie? Meet Lupe Fuentes’ “butt,” now with new “Forbidden Texture.” Yes, really.

By (@tynanwrites)

March 18, 2010

So porking a plastic replica of a woman’s love canal just isn’t doing the job anymore? Why not add anal to your virtual repertoire? Yes, now you can plow the virtual dookie chute with the Lupe Fuentes’ "butt" sleeve.

Here’s the release:

ILF LLC Is proud to announce the launch of the Lupe Fuentes’ custom molded butt to the best selling Fleshlight® line of sex toys for men. In addition to her already best selling vagina model, this will allow fans of Lupe to have her any way they like. 

Given that Lupe is also 90 percent plastic, this really is a realistic simulation.

Even the guys who churn out these press releases can’t resist a little double entendre:

Fleshlight® has seen sales of the Lupe Fuentes Mini Lotus product continue to rise since it was introduced last year. Fleshlight® expects the explosive sales to continue with the addition of the new Lupe Fuentes butt, which is available in the wildly popular Forbidden texture. The new Fleshlight® is an exact mold of Ms. Fuentes’ own butt, and the Forbidden texture is created to simulate the unique and naughty pleasure of anal sex.

In other words, bring plenty of antibacterial hand wipes.

But wait, Lupe speaks! Well, we think it’s Lupe. Maybe it’s just her butt:

“I am really excited about offering my second fleshlight, ‘butt’ because the most important thing in my career is to be close to my fans, and this is the perfect way for everyone to have a little, ‘little Lupe’."

Another benefit: Your odds of catching a nasty STD go down dramatically with ‘little Lupe,’ unless you’re planning to pass it around amongst your pathetic loser friends.

You can order both vag and butt sleeves for the low low price of $99.95. They’ll even throw in a free 2-ounce bottle of  "Gun Oil H2O water-based personal lubricant." No ifs or ands, just butts.

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