Alternate Reality

Google Nexus One Now Available From World’s Crappiest Carrier

AT&T deal means Google phandroids can enjoy the same lousy reception and shitty service as iPhone fanboys at an even higher cost.

By (@tynanwrites)

March 16, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Since its debut nearly 75 days ago, the Nexus One has drawn inevitable comparisons with the iPhone. Like followers of the Jesus handset, Nexus users enjoyed a groundbreaking touch-screen interface and a marketplace filled with thousands of custom apps, backed by a cutting-edge company surrounded by an aura of geeky invincibility.

There was only thing the Nexus One lacked: a really shitty telecom.

Now those days are over. Thanks to Google’s newly announced deal with AT&T, Phandroids will be able to enjoy the same crappy call quality, spotty 3G service, and execrable customer support as their iPhone brothers and sisters.

“The Nexus One is finally available on the world’s fastest and least reliable 3G network,” said a Google spokesperson known only as Mimsy. “We look forward to having access to millions of disgruntled AT&T customers across these United States.”

To ensure new customers receive an even more painful up-the-dookie-chute experience than even the iPhone faithful, Google will sell only unsubsidized handsets for $529, plus $25 for an AT&T compatible SIM card and whatever usurious charges the telecom tacks on for voice and data.

In related news, Google has confirmed news reports that the Nexus One sold roughly 135,000 units in its first two and a half months on the market; just over 100,000 of those to Robert Scoble.






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Comments

  • Mosstech

    I live in Dallas and have 100% coverage 3g service from AT&T here.

    I was in San Fransisco some months back… had terrible AT&T service. All the bad things you say about them were true.

    I went back to Dallas and the service here is PERFECT.

    Looks like AT&T users need to come live in Dallas…..

  • timjones17

    it's pretty awesome then that the Nexus One will soon be available in World’s Best Carrier, Verizon Wireless.

  • timjones17

    it's pretty awesome then that the Nexus One will soon be available in World’s Best Carrier, Verizon Wireless.

  • Tom

    People really should spout off their carrier dookie by citing where they live. ATT maybe the worlds worst in your corner of the country but contrary to you personal belief the World does not end just past your range of sight. Is ATT perfect, no. None of the carriers are. If the “Can you hear me know guy” walked down my street, I would probably punch him in the face, knee him in the groin then hang him by his underwear waistband from a nearby flag pole. Verizon was that bad of an experience for me in my corner of the world.

    All Carriers Suck…All Carriers are Great. It is all perspective. I wish people would stop assuming that their experience speaks for all experiences of everyone everywhere. Pick a carrier that works in your area and buy their best product that fits your life. If that means no iPhone…tough noogies!

  • Tom

    People really should spout off their carrier dookie by citing where they live. ATT maybe the worlds worst in your corner of the country but contrary to you personal belief the World does not end just past your range of sight. Is ATT perfect, no. None of the carriers are. If the “Can you hear me know guy” walked down my street, I would probably punch him in the face, knee him in the groin then hang him by his underwear waistband from a nearby flag pole. Verizon was that bad of an experience for me in my corner of the world.

    All Carriers Suck…All Carriers are Great. It is all perspective. I wish people would stop assuming that their experience speaks for all experiences of everyone everywhere. Pick a carrier that works in your area and buy their best product that fits your life. If that means no iPhone…tough noogies!