How to Lose Friends and Alienate People: The Twitter Edition
Want to give people good reason to ignore you on Twitter? Look no further: We’ve found the perfect lesson.
If you’re looking for a way to keep people from following you on Twitter, we may have discovered a foolproof solution. Today’s social networking lesson comes courtesy of the following tweet, actually observed in the Twitterverse this week:
Yes, you read correctly: This “Internet marketing consultant” has created an actual Terms of Service for being his Twitter pal. In order to qualify as being tweet-worthy, you have to let him know exactly why you’re following him; avoid sending tweets that he deems as being too short; and avoid calling him “Ed” or “Eddie,” among other requirements.
We hate to disagree with ol’ Eddie, but here’s an alternate set of terms to consider: If someone is smug enough to present you with a Terms of Service for being his Twitter friend, assume he’s joking and laugh. Proceed to mock him incessantly in various areas of the Internet. Then, once you’ve giggled and guffawed to your heart’s content, head to your local Mexican eatery and feast on a large burrito.
(Large burrito is optional — and not necessarily directly related to anything else — but recommended nonetheless. It is, after all, part of the terms.)
Keep up with JR Raphael on Twitter (@jr_raphael) or via jrstart.com.
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