Rants In Our Pants

15 Stupid Tweets: When #ModernProverbs Go Wrong

Watch out, Aristotle: Twitter’s taking on philosophy. Here are some of the stupidest tweets we’ve seen in today’s trending topic of #ModernProverbs.

By (@jr_raphael)

March 9, 2010

Stupid Tweets: #ModernProverbsTwitter is many things, but deeply profound is not one of them. And that’s never been more evident than today.

Thanks to the #ModernProverbs trending topic, twits near and far are chiming in with words of everlasting wisdom. If by “words of everlasting wisdom,” you mean things like “Money ovr bitches lol.”

But that gem is just the start. Behold, 15 of the dumbest tweets we could find within Twitter’s #ModernProverbs. Read them. Ponder them. Bathe in their beauty. Then go wash yourself thoroughly.

1. @PastorBrownFilm: Never waste a minute of your precious life by squandering itawaythinkingaboutpeoplethatdon’tlikeyouorhavehurtyou PastorBrown

Sure. Or how about this: Learn to condense your thoughts into 140 characters soyoudonthavetoeliminateallthespacesyoujackass.

2. @namasteanil: Bood bood RT se TREND banta hai , RTing is very imp.. If u like it RT it.

You, sir, are a prophet of the Digital Age. Whoompa doompa, diddly-doo.

3. @m_krishna: every browser has its porn

Bret Michaels, your 2010 power ballad awaits you.
Idiocy: Stupid People in Large Groups
4. @AshuMittal: If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0

Or take a lesson from Google and just slap the ol’ beta sticker on everything.

5. @AngryMnkeyFight: Person who has nothing good to say, posts it on twitter anyway.

I think this is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy.

6. @Ron_pipes: anyone can make a misstake but one is stupid not to account for them

What if their mistake is misspelling “mistake”?

7. @ItsPeteLaCock: When you’re about to embark in a threesome, the other 2 shall never be a She & Him. Always a She & She. ALWAYS!

Amen, brother. Though based on your appearance, here’s hoping we never encounter a video of you partaking in said activity.

8. @rachitkwatra: To blog is human, to tweet is divine

Hey, you’re that guy from the Jesus tweeting service, aren’t you?

9. @NikkiLFL: Value money and bang as many hoes u can til ur dick falls off

Coming from a member of the Lingerie Football League, we’re inclined to take this advice. Nikki, you busy tonight?
Stupid Tweets
10. @julianaliusiska: Men are fr0m mars. Woman are fr0m venus. That’s why we are different!~

That, and the fact that we don’t use zeros in place of letters. But that’s more of a dipshit/non-dipshit difference than a male/female difference.

11. @2Shades: one romantic tweet in DM is worth two flirting tweets in the public timeline.

I see. And what does that translate into when it comes to guys who have actually touched a woman?

12. @__YOURStruely: to tweet or not to tweet that is the question (:

If that’s the best you’ve got, we have to encourage you to go with the “not to tweet” option.

13. @poonamadvani: A tweet a day keeps the spammers at bay!

Assuming this is true, those spammers must be thousands of miles from @GuyKawasaki.

14. @MrCopeland18: Imma make ya bed rock

Oh, good Mr. Copeland, you do have a way with the words. Your poetic musings must impress many a lady whose “bed ya rock.”

15. @SadePiffington: he might be fuckin you but he’s thinking of me

Madam, you too are a class act. May we introduce you to our friend MrCopeland?

(Images: despair.com, frogsjustfrogs.com)






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Comments

  • http://empoprise-bi.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft (Empoprises)

    Why are y0u s0 hard on @julianaliusiska? Juliana is pr0bably very d0wn because she d0esn't have an 0 in her name. Or maybe it's a weird Venus thing after all. I think Juliana is c00l!

    I thought that brevity would encourage more profound thoughts. Your survey proves that my thoughts are not accurate.

  • http://empoprise-bi.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft (Empoprises)

    Why are y0u s0 hard on @julianaliusiska? Juliana is pr0bably very d0wn because she d0esn't have an 0 in her name. Or maybe it's a weird Venus thing after all. I think Juliana is c00l!

    I thought that brevity would encourage more profound thoughts. Your survey proves that my thoughts are not accurate.

  • hereIam

    10. @julianaliusiska: Men are fr0m mars. Woman are fr0m venus. That’s why we are different!~

    That, and the fact that we don’t use zeros in place of letters. But that’s more of a dipshit/non-dipshit difference than a male/female difference.

    ———Another difference (not male/female, more of an idiot/non-idiot difference) is that I can pluralize and use “women” and not use the singular “woman.” Although again, this may simply be an idiot/non-idiot difference.