New American Family: Gay Catholic Ex-Stripper Awaits Birth of Twins Carried by Husbands Sister
Gay ex-stripper/altar boys are procreating via the miracles of modern science. Yes, this is a real press release. Even we can’t make shit like this up.
Yes, that is the 100 percent genuine honest-to-god headline of a press release we just received. Which means either a) the end of days is truly upon us, or b) we’re in the wrong line of work.
Herewith is the release in full:
Indeed, Tom Marino’s husband’s sister is carrying his babies. It gets even more interesting…this time they used his husband’s sperm and a donor egg to conceive their babies through IVF. They used Tom’s sperm to conceive their now two-year old son—using the same surrogate (the sister) and donor eggs.
On the outside, Marino is a buttoned up white collar dad who is a regional banking manager, monogamous husband, devout Catholic, former altar boy and former Civil Air Patrol member. However, he is also a former exotic dancer and author of Tomorrow May Be Too Late – a very honest and gritty memoir about toxic homosexual love and living a life of debauchery.
With your audience, Marino can share intimate accounts and devastating real-world incidences about how he spent the last two decades rebuilding his ‘tomorrow’ after a unflattering series of events— including a messy (heterosexual) divorce, one-night-stands, white collar crime, heartbreak, spiritual intervention and the birth of a child—to become a real-life example of a modern American family.
Marino — articulate yet edgy, reserved yet pithy — can discuss the following:
• Adoption/surrogacy
• In Vitro Fertilization
• Living in Denial or a Secret Life
• Overcoming Adversity and Healing
• Spotting a Toxic Relationship
• Falling Victim to Romantic Crime
• Corporate Ethics & Banking
• Exotic Dancing
• Being a Gay Catholic
• Same-Sex Parenthood
We feel articulate yet edgy, reserved yet pithy. Also, like we just spent three hours in a hot tub with Jerry Springer.
Photo: Image of male stripper (not Tom Marino) found at Stop Podcasting Yourself. We have been unable to ascertain whether he is also an ex-altar boy white collar criminal who’s inseminated his sister in law, but one can only hope.
Keep up with Dan Tynan on Twitter (@tynan_on_tech) or via dantynan.com.
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