Rants In Our Pants

Get a Glue, Dude: SuperGlue Answers All Your Sticky Questions

A new interactive texting service aims to keep you from coming unglued by answering all your adhesive-related queries. All we can say is, it’s about time.

By (@tynanwrites)

February 26, 2010

It seems like hours since anyone “revolutionized the consumer buying experience.” Fortunately, SuperGlue is here to rectify that situation by introducing a new text-messaging service for your urgent adhesive-related questions. Per the release:


Building on its commitment to customer service, Pacer Technology (parent company of Super Glue Corporation) is launching a new application – available on any push button phone or text message system – that will help consumers make faster, better and more informed purchase decisions.  The first use of the application being launched is the Interactive Glue Guide, which will help consumers answer adhesive-related questions.  

Supporting the technology launch with a comprehensive consumer campaign, Super Glue Corporation will begin placing the Interactive Glue Guide at retail outlets this month, followed by traditional, online and social media outreach.

Using a proprietary system developed by Pacer Technology, the Interactive Glue Guide engages the consumer to call 866-GLUE-911 or simply send the text message “superglue” to 41411.

You know, we’ve been waiting decades for someone to answer all our adhesive-related questions. Like these:

* I’ve been snorting your product on a regular basis. Now my nostrils are stuck together and I really have to sneeze. I’m afraid if I let this one go I’ll never see my nose again. Pleas he—AAAAAAA!

* Meant to use SuperLube, grabbed SuperGlue by mistake. Now my girlfriend and are permanently, ummm, committed. I’m only dating her for her tits. PLS HELP!

* My child likes to eat paste, but we thought SuperGlue would be better for him. Now he seems to have stopped speaking entirely and just stares off into space. What should we do?

* I accidentally glued my penis to my cell phone. You don’t want to know how I’m typing this. Please help.

Thank you, SuperGlue. We don’t know how we survived without this.

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