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The World’s Greatest Geek Lingerie

Nintendo-themed naughties? Check. iPhone-styled thong? Check. When it comes to hot women wearing geeky lingerie, this is as good as it gets.

By (@JRRaphael)

March 2, 2010

Geek LingerieTech and women are without question two of our favorite things. It only makes sense, then, that combining them together would be buggering brilliant.

That’s why we took it upon ourselves to painstakingly search out the greatest pieces of geek lingerie on the planet. We devoted hours upon hours to this task, much to our significant others’ chagrin. And then we decided we might as well share this info with you (mainly so that we’d have an excuse to explain our booty-filled browser histories).

We could wax on and on about the many practical uses of these intimate items — it’s scientifically proven, after all, that women secretly lust after geeks — but we’ll save that for another day.

Instead, without further ado, we bring you the breast — er, sorry, the best — geek lingerie in existence. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

Click on any image to enlarge it to full-size.

1. Ms. Pacman Lingerie

Geek Lingerie: Ms. Pacman

We’re not gonna lie: We’ve always kind of had a thing for Ms. Pacman. (Don’t deny it. You have, too.) So you can imagine our excitement when we discovered the flirtatious yellow lady now has her own sexy lingerie outfit for real (and hopefully not yellow) women to wear.

Gentlemen, prepare your joysticks.

2. iPhone Thong

Geek Lingerie: iPhone Thong

It doesn’t take an Apple fanboy to appreciate a lovely lady in Apple-themed attire. The iPhone thong, suffice it to say, is no exception.

Vibrate mode not included.

3. HTTPanties

Geek Lingerie: HTTPanties

Our interest in these next undergarments is strictly from a professional perspective. After all, we need to study HTTP status codes as part of our jobs.

Luckily, that process will be painless with the HTTPanties by ThinkGeek. The lingerie includes four different error codes. Here’s hoping you don’t land on 403.

4. Antivirus Briefs

Geek Lingerie: Antivirus Briefs

We at eSarcasm encourage safe-sex (as long as it doesn’t involve plastic wrap). We really have no choice, then, but to endorse the wearing of these antivirus briefs by any and all attractive females.

Hey, these days, you’ve gotta have protection.

5. Password-Protected Panties

Geek Lingerie: Password-Protected Panties

Want some incentive to remember your password? The password-protected panties come complete with a familiar-looking input field guarding their pink-tinted fronts.

Not to worry, though: As with all secure sites, there’s always a way to hack in to the backdoor.

6. NES Bikini

Geek Lingerie: NES Bikini

There are few better ways to push a geek’s buttons than with a Nintendo-based bikini. (Yes, we realize it may not technically be lingerie — but come on, are you complaining?) The direction controller and A-B buttons are conveniently on top, with the start and select options lurking on the bottom half.

Figure out the secret code, good player, and you might just advance to the next level.

7. Nintendo Naughties

Geek Lingerie: Nintendo Controller

Oh, sweet Zelda. We’re pretty sure this ensemble might lead to an early “Game Over,” but that’s a risk we’re willing to take. Thankfully, we’ve stored up some extra lives in case the first round leaves something to be desired.

8. Bootylicious Bloggers

Geek Lingerie: I'm Blogging This

These unsubtle unmentionables might scare off some dudes, but we’ve got nothing to hide. While the voided warranty design is slightly troubling, the “I’m blogging this” pair adds a certain level of excitement to the air.

For the record, we’ll be blogging it, too. Though we prefer to write up our adventures using sexting acronyms — namely HPIMPNSIM and DANZA.

9. Achievement Locked Challenge

Geek Lingerie: Achievement Locked

Your finest Xbox conquests are nothing compared to this achievement-locked challenge. You might not get points for winning, per se — but we suspect it’ll still be pretty damn gratifying.

One word of advice: When you finish the game, skip the customary “BOOYAH!” celebration and just stay quiet.

10. Bonus Stage Skivvies

Geek Lingerie: Bonus Stage

Score well early on, and you just might be able to reach for the bonus stage. Before you attempt to enter this level, however, you should know that an extra-large memory stick is required to play.

11. Gentleman-Counting G-String

Geek Lingerie: Visitor Number

File this last one under “things you don’t want to see your girlfriend wearing.” Still, you’ve gotta give the visitor number G-string points for originality.

On the bright side, Web sites with visitor counters tend to be cheap and prone to going down often. Maybe the same will apply here.

Ready for more geek-friendly undergarments? Click over to “High Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest” and check out the mountains of wonder that await you.

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