TechSex

An Open Letter to China’s Porn-Policing Moms

The People’s Republic has tasked dozens of Chinese moms with scouring the Web for smut. We address these porn-policing ladies in an open (and probably slightly too honest) letter.

By (@jr_raphael)

February 5, 2010

Dear China’s Porn-Policing Moms,

We understand you’ve been hired to surf the Web in search of porn, smut, and other indecent content. From what we gather, you’ve volunteered to devote hours of your days to doing this. And, based on the photo we’ve seen, it looks like you’ll be sitting in a darkened room while embarking on this noble task.

China’s porn-policing moms, we have a lot in common.

Sure, we here at eSarcasm are frequently indecent. We’re often offensive. And yes, we make fun of China quite regularly. But we also enjoy surfing the Web in search of porn, smut, and other indecent content. Generally for hours on end. And usually in semi-darkened rooms.

Let’s face it, China’s porn-policing moms: We may have our differences, but we also have our similarities. Namely the whole searching-for-porn-in-dimly-lit-areas thing. But don’t be so quick to write that off. We’ve rarely found women who share our passions in such a proud and honest way.

China’s porn-policing moms, we’re not going to lie: Common interests aside, the thought of a bunch of Asian MILFs in a dark room watching porn together is not entirely unappealing to us. And that’s why we’ve decided to reach out.

We’d like to join your efforts. Hire us, and we’ll come sit in darkness with you all day as we search for the raunchiest, nastiest shit we can find. We’ll help you with your task. And if all the porn-perusing leaves you feeling a little randy — say, randy enough to consider a wild, no-holds-barred orgy with us — hey, we won’t complain.

China’s porn-policing moms, we know we could do great things together. And by great, we mean really, really naughty.

Call us.

xoxo,

eSarcasm






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