Nothing Says Lame PR Like Equating Beef With Love

We received a press release today with the following line: “Nothing says love like beef and backrubs.” And no, it wasn’t written by Doug Heffernan.

By (@JRRaphael)

January 19, 2010

When you really want to romance your honey, forget the chocolate and flowers — beef is the hot new way to win her heart. At least, according to a press release that tries way too hard to make a holiday connection.

The Valentine’s Day-themed release, sent out by the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, attempts to portray slabs of cow meat as the sure-fire way to woo a modern woman. In addition to our aforementioned favorite line — “Nothing says love like beef and backrubs” — the document contains gems like these:

  • “They call me Dr. Love: Americans associate steak as a ‘best match’ for love (44%), romance (42%) and passion (41%) — more so than chicken, pork or fish.”
  • “Let’s meat: Beef (36%) is more often associated with ‘magnetism’ than fish (22%), pork (21%) or chicken (21%).”
  • “Second course, intercourse: Beef her at dinner, pork her for dessert.” *

Hell of a campaign, Cattlemen. At least now we know that, with the right touch, even beef can be made incredibly cheesy.

*Yes, we made that last one up. Everything else is 100% real.

(Heart-shaped steak image from Photobucket’s fa1921.)

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