The TechList: 16.Jan.2010
China to Google: up yours; Facebook to its members: Get on all fours
1. Google. Pulls out of china after cyberattack. China’s response? xi wo men de yà zhou xiao yin jing [ie: Suck our tiny Asian dicks].
2. Internet Explorer. Zero-day flaw caused Google hack. Microsoft is really sorry about that. They’re just broken up about it. Really.
3. Haiti. Texting raises $11 million for earthquake relief. Sexting raises 11 million penises, provides other essential relief.
4. Valleywag. Offers $100K for proof of Apple Tablet, gets nastygram from Apple attorney in return. Sounds like proof to us.
5. Mark Zuckerberg. Says ‘social norms’ let Facebook share your stuff with world. As if Geekerberg has ever been social or normal.
6. Roxxxy. Sex robot offers "Frigid Farrah" personality; it’s just like being married only you don’t need a lawyer to unplug her.
7. Doomsday clock. Set back a minute. We now have six minutes before it’s time to kiss our asses goodbye. Pucker up.
8. Airport scanners. Able to detect smuggled luncheon meats, per WSJ. Finally, a way to thwart those terrorist Spam attacks.
9. Apple. Asks US to ban import of Nokia phones. The official reason given? Extreme suckitude.
10. United Kingdom. Survey says 50% of Brits don’t know Steve Jobs. The other 50% thought that was US slang for "hand jobs."
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