Alternate Reality

Foxxxy Roxxxy Arrested After Fight at Vegas Club

World’s first sexbot detained by authorities after wild fracas at Las Vegas hot spot. An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

January 11, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Roxxxy, the world’s first "sex robot," was taken into custody by local authorities last night after a wild party on the Las Vegas Strip. She was later released to her creator, lonely AI geek Douglas Hines.

The cybernetic slut, who made her debut at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo last week, had to be removed by bouncers at hot Vegas nightclub Tabu (right) after getting into a fist fight with Tila Tequila (below).

Sources report that the 5′ 7" bot spent much of the night partying with Tequila and Linday Lohan in the club’s VIB room. A fight broke out after the Web spitfire accused Roxxxy of having fake breasts and a plastic personality. 

According to Hines, the anatomically correct Roxxxy "has a full C cup and is ready for action," but blamed her anti-social behavior on Wild Wendy, one of her five programmable personalities.

"She would have never acted like that if she’d been set to Mature Martha or Frigid Farrah," he says.

eSarcasm has learned that True Companion, the startup that’s selling the $9,000 sexbot, will release a plug in next month that emulates the precise look and behavior of a typical 22-year-old tart.

Among other things, Slutbucket 2.0 will enable Roxxxy to flirt with the bartender, order the most expensive thing on the menu but never touch it, text her friends while pretending to listen to you, openly express her desire to hook up with somebody with more money and a nicer car, and ask you if you’ve got any blow.

According to company sources, Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods have already pre-ordered the enhanced model.

Photos: NineMSN in Australia, and wherever JR found that one of Tila’s smiling tits

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