The TechList: 09.Jan.2010

1. Facebook. Apparently, revealing the color of your bra cures breast cancer. Revealing the bra itself prevents it. (Would we lie to you?)

2. Lenovo. Unveils Android handset called “LePhone.” Because calling it Lame-Ass HTC Wanna-Be is too hard to say in Chinese.

3. Microsoft. Ballmer demos ‘slate’ PCs at CES; world yawns. It seems mythical Apple Tablets are still preferable to real Windows ones.

4. Magic Jack. New ‘femtojack’ lets you make cell calls via VOIP – at least ‘til the wireless carriers tell them to femtojack off.

5. CEA. Evicts vendors from hotel suites for holding demos during CES. In Vegas only hookers are allowed to do business in hotel rooms.

6. Ford Sync. Will bring Twitter to your dashboard in 2012. Soon you’ll be able to flip other drivers the bird in 140 characters or less.

7. Google. Said they were making a really big phone announcement this week. Who knew they meant a really BIG phone?

8. Moot. 4chan’s main dude is Wired’s “Sexiest Geek” of 2009. Also voted ‘least likely to ever touch a woman’ in high school.

9. 3DTV. Next big thing to hit TV, say vendors. I dunno — do we really need to see The Biggest Loser in three dimensions?

10. Ron Jeremy. Brings gospel of porn to CES’s Mommy Tech pavilion. Good idea. Seeing him naked would put anyone off having sex.

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