Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

The Name Game: What Your Name Says About You

The Name Game: What Your Name Says About You

What’s in a name? A lot, according to some recent research. Dr. Smartass has your guide to interpreting what your name tells the world.

Most Influential Tweeters in the Twitterverse

Most Influential Tweeters in the Twitterverse

We’ve discovered the quickest path to becoming a Twitter influencer: Create your own rating system for Twitter influencers.

eSarcasm vs. CNET and Wired: Get the Facts

eSarcasm vs. CNET and Wired: Get the Facts

If Microsoft can create its own “study” to prove its product is better than the competition — well, damn it, we can do the same thing.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

Tits and tech — what more could a guy want? From an iPod-charging bra to one with its own USB keyboard, these eight pieces of intimate apparel are sure to get any geek’s heart racing.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Heidi Montag

Hump Day Hottie: Heidi Montag

This reality TV star and Playboy model makes plastic look fantastic.

Video: Why the iPhone Can’t Make An Action Movie

Video: Why the iPhone Can’t Make An Action Movie

The iPhone may be magical, it may be revolutionary — but it definitely isn’t action movie material. Just watch this video and you’ll see why.

iToons: Is That a Bieber-Shaped Cloud?

iToons: Is That a Bieber-Shaped Cloud?

Storing your music in the cloud may seem like a good idea, but trust us: It could have some serious consequences.

Hump Day Hottie: Sarah Jean Underwood

Hump Day Hottie: Sarah Jean Underwood

Meet Sarah Jean, the silver screen’s new scream queen

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Urologists Concerned Over Rise In U.S. Smartphone Penetration

Urologists Concerned Over Rise In U.S. Smartphone Penetration

“Why anyone would do that to a piece of technology is beyond me,” says one physician.

Cell Phone Etiquette: 26 Simple Rules

Cell Phone Etiquette: 26 Simple Rules

Your cell phone habits are simply horrendous. Mortifying, really. Do us all a favor and commit to these 26 rules of cell phone etiquette. The world will thank you.

7 Reasons Why Google Would Make a Bad Boyfriend

7 Reasons Why Google Would Make a Bad Boyfriend

Yeah, yeah, we know. Google’s got it goin’ on. Before you hop on to ride the Big G’s big index, though, you may want to read this.

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Screw the square-jawed, six-packed stunners — good old-fashioned geeks are what women really want. Just ask Dr. Smartass.

Oops! 15 Unintentionally Dirty URLs

Oops! 15 Unintentionally Dirty URLs

They may sound filthy, but ferrethandjobs.com and penisland.net are perfectly innocent sites. Here are 15 of the Web’s most accidentally vulgar addresses.

This Brassiere Could Save Your Life

This Brassiere Could Save Your Life

The Emergency Bra doesn’t merely lift, shape, and support, it may also save your life in case of a gas attack. Even if not, it’s certainly worth a try.

How to Use ‘Tweet’ and Other Dumb Internet Rules

How to Use ‘Tweet’ and Other Dumb Internet Rules

Do you know the right way to use the word “tweet”? How about “like,” “LOL,” or “cybersex”? There are rules for these things, you know. Read up and learn.