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Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Swearing Makes You Feel Better, Shitty Study Finds

Swearing Makes You Feel Better, Shitty Study Finds

For the love of science, stop censoring yourself. Swearing holds the power to make you feel physically better, according to a shitty new study out of the U.K.

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

Screw BeautifulPeople.com. If your goblin-like appearance frequently frightens small children, AbsoluteUggos may be the dating site for you.

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Apple iPad Users Suffering From ‘Miracle Fatigue’

Apple iPad Users Suffering From ‘Miracle Fatigue’

As Apple gets ready to introduce the iPad 2 on March 2, experts fear that iPad fans may not be able to withstand another miraculous, life-changing device.

Quickies

Video: Puppet Steve Jobs Explains the iPad

Video: Puppet Steve Jobs Explains the iPad

Puppet Steve Jobs sits down with Puppet Walt Mossberg to reveal the truth about the iPad, Apple’s design process, and his feelings on tech journalism.

Hump Day Hottie: Rhea Durham

Hump Day Hottie: Rhea Durham

Heaven must be missing an angel. Fortunately, heavenly Rhea can be found right here.

iToons: The New Twitter’s Secret Weapon

iToons: The New Twitter’s Secret Weapon

Twitter’s new design is about increasing interaction — but not in the way you might think.

Hump Day Hottie: Kathy Gardiner

Hump Day Hottie: Kathy Gardiner

Need to refi your mortgage? We’ve got just the loan officer you want to see.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

Think ladies are the only ones putting on the fake “O”-face? Think again. Dr. Smartass explains.

25 Ways to Be a Total Tool on Twitter

25 Ways to Be a Total Tool on Twitter

Anyone can be annoying on Twitter, but achieving complete assclown status takes serious dedication. Here are 25 obnoxious Twitter behaviors that ought to get you banned for life.

Casualties of Tech: 40 Activities Made Obsolete

Casualties of Tech: 40 Activities Made Obsolete

With every new technological innovation, an old activity becomes outdated. From heading to the arcade to wearing a calculator watch, here are 40 things either gone or in danger of disappearing.

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

We’ve gotten our hands on yet another internal Apple memo dealing with the iPhone 4’s antenna problems and the media. It’s much worse than you think.

Apple iPad Users Suffering From ‘Miracle Fatigue’

Apple iPad Users Suffering From ‘Miracle Fatigue’

As Apple gets ready to introduce the iPad 2 on March 2, experts fear that iPad fans may not be able to withstand another miraculous, life-changing device.

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

What happens when Facebook runs the post office? We’re about to find out. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Scientists Solve Mystery of How Cats Drink Without Getting Wet

Scientists Solve Mystery of How Cats Drink Without Getting Wet

Scientists have finally uncovered the answer to one of nature’s most elusive mysteries. And it’s a lot simpler than you think.