Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

Hooking up with someone online doesn’t have to be difficult. Just follow these seven simple rules, and you’ll be clicking your way to climactic glory.

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

Snuggle up to your screen and get ready to unleash all sorts of shenanigans with these 15 high-tech office pranks. Our apologies in advance to your friends and co-workers.

How Sluts are Saving the Species

How Sluts are Saving the Species

The next time you see a girl in a tight shirt and short skirt, you should stop and say thank you — but not for the reason you might expect. Dr. Smartass explains.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

Yes, TC is apparently for sale, and we’re apparently buying them. Even we can’t keep these things straight.

Quickies

Hump Day Hotties: Bree Olsen & Natalie Kenly

Hump Day Hotties: Bree Olsen & Natalie Kenly

Double your pleasure, double your fun with these two hotties, aka, the “goddesses” that light up Charlie Sheen’s life.

Hump Day Hottie: Sarah Jean Underwood

Hump Day Hottie: Sarah Jean Underwood

Meet Sarah Jean, the silver screen’s new scream queen

Video: Introducing Photoshop’s New ‘PhotoBomb’ Tool

Video: Introducing Photoshop’s New ‘PhotoBomb’ Tool

Miss an opportunity to ruin a perfectly good party pic? Fear not: Photoshop’s new “PhotoBomb” tool can help you defile a photo after the fact with just a couple simple clicks.

Hump Day Hottie: Cristina Warthen

Hump Day Hottie: Cristina Warthen

Can someone please lend this poor girl $25,000? She’s prosti–err, destitute.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

A survey reports that nearly half of all Facebook and Twitter users update their status from bed. But that’s hardly the only proof we’re social media addicts. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Picking Microsoft’s new tagline (“Be What’s Next”) wasn’t easy. Here are some alternative slogans that didn’t quite make the cut.

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Forget those old lists of outdated back-to-school advice — these are the tips today’s teens really need before heading back to the classroom.

New York Times Names Michael Arrington ‘Ethics Czar’

New York Times Names Michael Arrington ‘Ethics Czar’

TechCrunch editor to drag newspaper kicking and screaming into the morally flexible, douchebag-friendly world of Ethics 2.0

The SexBox: 10 X-Rated Games We Want to See

The SexBox: 10 X-Rated Games We Want to See

A Silicon Valley company wants to create an adult gaming system called the SexBox. From “No Need For Speed” to “Panty Raider,” here are 10 X-rated games we hope it will offer.

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

See how your Internet porn habits compare to other people’s with a provocative new study. Dr. Smartass has the details.

Windows at 25: The Interview

Windows at 25: The Interview

To mark Microsoft Windows’ 25th birthday, we got up close and personal with the OS on a wide range of topics — including what it really thinks of Gates, Ballmer, and Jobs. An eSarcasm exclusive.