Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

According to a new study by Nielsen, preppies flock to Facebook while greasers mingle on MySpace. But where should the rest of us go? Here’s a handy guide.

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

Hooking up with someone online doesn’t have to be difficult. Just follow these seven simple rules, and you’ll be clicking your way to climactic glory.

7 Things That’ll Stop You From Becoming a Chinese Astronaut

7 Things That’ll Stop You From Becoming a Chinese Astronaut

China’s searching for “superhumans” in its next-generation of astronauts, and anything from bad breath to body odor will take you out of the running. Think you could pass the test?

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

Mark Zuckerberg: The Early Years

Mark Zuckerberg: The Early Years

What was Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg like as a child? A sweaty sheep-throwing computer prodigy, a hopeless dweeb, and a complete dick. Here’s the untold story. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Christina Aguilera

Hump Day Hottie: Christina Aguilera

Even if she’s not very good, the star of ‘Burlesque’ has still got the goods.

Video: If Yesterday’s Movies Had Today’s Smartphones…

Video: If Yesterday’s Movies Had Today’s Smartphones…

Classic movies would have been a lot different if the characters had carried smartphones. Don’t take our word for it, though: Watch this video and see for yourself.

Hump Day Hottie: Jimena Navarrete

Hump Day Hottie: Jimena Navarrete

Meet Miss Universe 2010, another excellent argument for relaxing immigration restrictions

Video: A Message From Steve Jobs About Android and the White iPhone

Video: A Message From Steve Jobs About Android and the White iPhone

The Magical One himself took time out of his busy schedule to deliver this important video message.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

No, it’s really true. Aol. just bought the world’s leading site for online news run by an autocratic tyrant with a funny accent. Here’s why. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Craigslist Cleaned Up: Inside the New Adult Services

Craigslist Cleaned Up: Inside the New Adult Services

Craigslist cleaned up its adult service offerings to curb the blatant sale of sex online. So is the new approach really working? eSarcasm investigates.

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

Every guy likes to think his manhood makes a lasting impression. Now, one man’s willy actually will live on in fame — and he has the fungus among us to thank.

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

We tried, honest we did. But we just don’t give a damn about white iPhones, 4G networks, Windows Phone 7, or how much hair Christine O’Donnell has on her nether bits. Sorry.

The 3.5-Inch Floppy Disk: An Exit Interview

The 3.5-Inch Floppy Disk: An Exit Interview

In an exclusive interview, the soon-to-be-unemployed 3.5-inch floppy opens up about his past, his future, and the life of sex and drugs that overtook his old colleague 5.25.

25 Ways to Tell If You’re a Hopeless Geek

25 Ways to Tell If You’re a Hopeless Geek

Have you gone full dweebtard? Hey, it can happen to the best of us. Take our 25-question true or false quiz to find out.

The Funniest Words From Google’s ‘Instant’ Blacklist

The Funniest Words From Google’s ‘Instant’ Blacklist

Google has banned hundreds of terms from showing up in its “Instant” search results — and some of them are more than a little bizarre.