Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

The new iPhone Nano will be so small you’ll need a magnifying glass to see it and so cheap Apple will be paying you to use one. Hey, we read it on the InterWebs, so it must be true.

The State of the American Schlong

The State of the American Schlong

How do men measure up across America? Dr. Smartass details a rare study that breaks down the average size of the prize from state to state.

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

Snuggle up to your screen and get ready to unleash all sorts of shenanigans with these 15 high-tech office pranks. Our apologies in advance to your friends and co-workers.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Fanboy Flirtation: 10 Dating Sites We’d Love to See

Fanboy Flirtation: 10 Dating Sites We’d Love to See

Dating site Cupidtino promises to bring Apple fanboys and girls together for awkward, Jobs-worshipping love. But why stop there? Here are 10 other fanboy dating sites that will take the world by storm.

Quickies

iToons: Cats + Twitter = Trouble

iToons: Cats + Twitter = Trouble

If you know any cats that are thinking about getting into social media, discourage them immediately. Really. It’s for their own good.

iToons: If Facebook Had Made ‘The Social Network’ Movie

iToons: If Facebook Had Made ‘The Social Network’ Movie

Had Facebook actually been behind The Social Network, the movie-viewing experience might have been a little bit different.

iToons: How Social Media Can Screw You Over

iToons: How Social Media Can Screw You Over

Sharing every detail of your life with strangers can cost you. Sometimes literally.

iToons: The Trouble With TwitPic

iToons: The Trouble With TwitPic

Social sharing services are great — until someone figures out a way to use them against you.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

The new iPhone Nano will be so small you’ll need a magnifying glass to see it and so cheap Apple will be paying you to use one. Hey, we read it on the InterWebs, so it must be true.

Those Hips Don’t Lie: Her Butt and Her Brain

Those Hips Don’t Lie: Her Butt and Her Brain

News flash: There’s more to her derriere than meets the eye. Dr. Smartass dives into some surprising science behind the behind.

Are You a Certified Facebook Douche?

Are You a Certified Facebook Douche?

We’re launching a campaign to seek out and identify the world’s worst Certified Facebook Douches. Can you help?

So Long, Sexting: 15 Trendy New Tech Terms

So Long, Sexting: 15 Trendy New Tech Terms

Sexting is so 2009. The coming year will be filled with media reports about “twiddling,” “tescallatio,” and these other hot new tech terms.

Your Avatar Is Fat, Ugly, and Stupid — Just Like You

Your Avatar Is Fat, Ugly, and Stupid — Just Like You

Microsoft’s working on a new system that’d build realistic-looking avatars based on how fit or fat you are. Here are nine big ways we hope the technology will be embraced.

Most Influential Tweeters in the Twitterverse

Most Influential Tweeters in the Twitterverse

We’ve discovered the quickest path to becoming a Twitter influencer: Create your own rating system for Twitter influencers.

This Just In: Beautiful Women Are Hazardous to Your Health

This Just In: Beautiful Women Are Hazardous to Your Health

A new study concludes that being forced to hang around gorgeous women does bad things to men. Where can we sign up for one of those studies?