Fresh Off The Griddle

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

Are You a Certified Facebook Douche?

Are You a Certified Facebook Douche?

We’re launching a campaign to seek out and identify the world’s worst Certified Facebook Douches. Can you help?

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Sony’s started spraying retail stores with the scents of vanilla, mandarin, and bourbon — and it’s not the only tech giant playing with the power of aroma.

5 Reasons Why We Hate ’5 Reasons Why’ Stories

5 Reasons Why We Hate ’5 Reasons Why’ Stories

Why must so many blog posts revolve around “5 reasons”-this or “5 reasons”-that? How about some originality, people?

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Are You a Sexsomniac?

Are You a Sexsomniac?

If there’s one title worth listing on your resumé, “sexsomniac” might be it. Dr. Smartass looks into what’s arguably the oddest (and most unintentionally slutty) medical condition known to man.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Alicia Rountree-Wilson

Hump Day Hottie: Alicia Rountree-Wilson

The Number One argument for marrying the boss’s daughter: Alicia Rountree-Wilson

Hump Day Hottie: Angelina Jolie

Hump Day Hottie: Angelina Jolie

Where can you find Angelina Jolie? On the arm of Brad Pitt, in the movie Salt, and in the dictionary under “hot.”

Hump Day Hottie: Anine Bing

Hump Day Hottie: Anine Bing

We’ve got a real thing for Anine Bing. Give it a minute — you will, too.

iToons: What Facebook Really Celebrated This Week

iToons: What Facebook Really Celebrated This Week

If you thought Zuckerberg’s hoodie insignia was weird, just wait till you see the new set of signs Facebook ordered to mark its 500-million-member milestone this week.

More Recent Stories

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.

Apple Sues Google For Stealing Stuff It Just Invented

Apple Sues Google For Stealing Stuff It Just Invented

Google stole tons of new features from iOS 7, Apple says, and put them into Android products three years ago. An eSarcasm exclusive.


eSarcasm Favorites

10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

AT&T doesn’t like people e-mailing its CEO — but it doesn’t stop there. eSarcasm has identified 10 other actions that’ll have AT&T’s legal team up your ass in a hurry.

The 12 Greatest Geek Tattoos

The 12 Greatest Geek Tattoos

Kat Von D’s got nothing on these ink-loving geeks. From a midriff-placed Konami code to a Zelda-inspired tramp stamp, here are our picks for the 12 greatest geek tattoos around.

Police on the Hunt for Elusive ‘Gmail Killer’

Police on the Hunt for Elusive ‘Gmail Killer’

Law enforcement authorities are seeking an alleged serial killer who has threatened to murder Gmail, the iPhone, the Kindle, and Google. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

According to a new study by Nielsen, preppies flock to Facebook while greasers mingle on MySpace. But where should the rest of us go? Here’s a handy guide.

The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

Who are the sexiest geeks? Here’s your chance to decide. eSarcasm serves up seven of the hottest nerds on Earth. Vote early and often for your faves.

10 More Cartoon Endorsements We’d Like to See

10 More Cartoon Endorsements We’d Like to See

Microsoft has enlisted the Family Guy crew to help flog Windows 7. But why stop there? Here are 10 more animated spokestoons tech companies should seriously consider.

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Extra, extra, read all about it. Apple and News Corp have finally unveiled the first ‘newspaper’ for the iPad. Here are ten things they won’t tell you about it.