Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Baby, You AutoComplete Me

Baby, You AutoComplete Me

Steve Jobs is a bicycle. Sarah Palin killed Michael Jackson. People type weird shit into Google — and you need look no further than its Auto-Complete feature to get a glimpse.

Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

eSarcasm is pleased to announce the renewed endorsement of Jesus Christ for the year 2010 A.D. “We feel like our business has been resurrected,” the site’s founders say.

EXCLUSIVE: iPhone 5 to Include ‘Invisible Fence’ Protection

EXCLUSIVE: iPhone 5 to Include ‘Invisible Fence’ Protection

Following the implementation of tamper-resistant screws on its products, Apple will begin installing electric fences on iPhones to prevent users from opening the cases.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Frak The Shack: 25 Better Ways to Rebrand RadioShack

Frak The Shack: 25 Better Ways to Rebrand RadioShack

RadioShack is attempting to reinvent itself by taking on a new name: “The Shack.” Come on, RS — you can do better than that. Here are 25 more appropriate alternatives.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Kylie Bisutti

Hump Day Hottie: Kylie Bisutti

Victoria Secret’s newest angel has us thinking devilish thoughts

iToons: Even the Elves Have Hardware Failures

iToons: Even the Elves Have Hardware Failures

They may work for Santa, but the IT elves at the North Pole still have their share of server problems.

iToons: Cats + Twitter = Trouble

iToons: Cats + Twitter = Trouble

If you know any cats that are thinking about getting into social media, discourage them immediately. Really. It’s for their own good.

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

Even the most advanced technologies can’t make certain things look bigger.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Looking for sizzling sex? A higher power could help. Dr. Smartass reveals one of science’s best-kept secrets.

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

A universal “Like” button, Facebook? Nice try, but our Web-wide “Indifferent” button is way more useful.

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

Humanity’s oldest ancestor, 4.4-million-year-old Ardi, talks about what it’s like to be the world’s first hip hop diva, and reveals the real reasons why men walk upright.

The Name Game: What Your Name Says About You

The Name Game: What Your Name Says About You

What’s in a name? A lot, according to some recent research. Dr. Smartass has your guide to interpreting what your name tells the world.

AT&T Vying For ‘Worst Company Ever’ Award

AT&T Vying For ‘Worst Company Ever’ Award

An AT&T executive says the company has been quietly competing for a prestigious “Worst Company Ever” distinction. Ah, yes…suddenly, it all makes sense.

Logo-a-Gogo: 10 New Tech Company Logos Revealed

Logo-a-Gogo: 10 New Tech Company Logos Revealed

MySpace isn’t the only big site with a new logo. AOL, Microsoft, Google, and Apple are all furiously rebranding themselves for a new and largely blank generation. An eSarcasm exclusive.

The 12 Greatest Geek Tattoos

The 12 Greatest Geek Tattoos

Kat Von D’s got nothing on these ink-loving geeks. From a midriff-placed Konami code to a Zelda-inspired tramp stamp, here are our picks for the 12 greatest geek tattoos around.