Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist has caved and censored its Adult Services ads, thus putting an end to prostitution for all time. Or something like that.

Oldest Living Microsoft Fanboy Tells All

Oldest Living Microsoft Fanboy Tells All

When Microsoft gets criticized unfairly on the Net, people like Hyrum Winsocki leap to its defense. eSarcasm gets up close and personal with the original MSFT Fanboy.

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

More than a decade after issuing its famous “Don’t be evil” directive, Google decides to go all in with Satan. Their new corporate motto? We Own Your Ass.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

That hot girl’s bra holds more than just two handfuls of fun. Dr. Smartass explains what breast size and shape can tell you about a woman.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Jenni Farley

Hump Day Hottie: Jenni Farley

Travel with us on a trip to the Jersey Shore. J-WOWW? And how.

Hump Day Hottie: Julia Hurley

Hump Day Hottie: Julia Hurley

This state senator from Tennessee is a former Hooters gal. She also knows a few neat rope tricks.

Hump Day Hottie: Alicia Silverstone

Hump Day Hottie: Alicia Silverstone

Call us clueless, but we’ll always have a crush on Alicia

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

Facebook CEO missing since Thursday. Police now believe excessive sweat may be to blame.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

Screw BeautifulPeople.com. If your goblin-like appearance frequently frightens small children, AbsoluteUggos may be the dating site for you.

To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

Having trouble separating the tweeps from the creeps? Let our scrupulously researched, deeply thoughtful decision guide do the thinking for you.

5 Reasons Why We Hate ’5 Reasons Why’ Stories

5 Reasons Why We Hate ’5 Reasons Why’ Stories

Why must so many blog posts revolve around “5 reasons”-this or “5 reasons”-that? How about some originality, people?

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

Snuggle up to your screen and get ready to unleash all sorts of shenanigans with these 15 high-tech office pranks. Our apologies in advance to your friends and co-workers.

When Schlongs Go Wrong: Small Penis, Big Problems

When Schlongs Go Wrong: Small Penis, Big Problems

Feeling down? Having a tough time making it through the day? Forget what Dr. Phil says — it might just be because of your dangle.

Yes, Virginia, Geeks Are Better in Bed

Yes, Virginia, Geeks <i>Are</i> Better in Bed

Defying all expectations, technology professionals were voted the best lovers in a UK poll. Why? Because their tools are rechargeable.

Wikipedia-Flavored Beef and 12 Other Delicious Dishes

Wikipedia-Flavored Beef and 12 Other Delicious Dishes

A Chinese restaurant’s “Wikipedia-flavored” entrée inspired us to cook up some tech-tinged dishes of our own. Care to try the Moo Goo Google or Microsoft Lo Mein For Home Dining?