Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

From spying squirrels to bomb-sniffing bees, animals have served some unusual roles in military operations. Here are the five of the strangest attempted army-animal combinations.

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

Humanity’s oldest ancestor, 4.4-million-year-old Ardi, talks about what it’s like to be the world’s first hip hop diva, and reveals the real reasons why men walk upright.

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

See how your Internet porn habits compare to other people’s with a provocative new study. Dr. Smartass has the details.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Today you’re on top of the blogosphere. Tomorrow you’ll wake up to find you’ve been replaced by a software routine. eSarcasm interviews the bot behind it all, Dr. Al Gorithm.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Allison Kyler

Hump Day Hottie: Allison Kyler

She’s not Britney, she’s much hotter and way less crazy. Meet Allison K., Spears stand in and scream queen.

Hump Day Hottie: Alicia Rountree-Wilson

Hump Day Hottie: Alicia Rountree-Wilson

The Number One argument for marrying the boss’s daughter: Alicia Rountree-Wilson

Hump Day Hottie: Peyton List

Hump Day Hottie: Peyton List

Need more reasons to watch Mad Men? Here’s number one on our List

Hump Day Hottie: Brooklyn Decker

Hump Day Hottie: Brooklyn Decker

Oh Brooklyn, how we pine for you. Not the borough, the babe. Meet Sports Illustrated’s 2010 Swimsuit cover girl.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

How Sluts are Saving the Species

How Sluts are Saving the Species

The next time you see a girl in a tight shirt and short skirt, you should stop and say thank you — but not for the reason you might expect. Dr. Smartass explains.

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

Sony’s original Walkman turns 30 years old this week. He sat down with eSarcasm for an exclusive interview about his life and ongoing struggles with depression.

Urologists Concerned Over Rise In U.S. Smartphone Penetration

Urologists Concerned Over Rise In U.S. Smartphone Penetration

“Why anyone would do that to a piece of technology is beyond me,” says one physician.

iTunes Psychology: Your Playlist, Your Self

iTunes Psychology: Your Playlist, Your Self

You may not realize it, but your iTunes playlist tells people a lot about your personality. Ready to see what message your music is sending?

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

Screw BeautifulPeople.com. If your goblin-like appearance frequently frightens small children, AbsoluteUggos may be the dating site for you.

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

A universal “Like” button, Facebook? Nice try, but our Web-wide “Indifferent” button is way more useful.

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Bill Gates is working on the next generation of condoms (yes, seriously) — and only eSarcasm has the skinny on how the high-tech rubbers will revolutionize sex as we know it.