Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

ICANN Locks Itself In Bathroom With .XXX, Refuses to Come Out

ICANN Locks Itself In Bathroom With .XXX, Refuses to Come Out

Governing body says it needs more time to research creating a new domain exclusively for online porn. Can it please just get some privacy? Is that too much to ask?

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

eSarcasm LLC would like to formally announce lawsuits against Michael Arrington, Apple, AT&T, and a bunch of other places that are really starting to piss us off.

Read This Story, Get Way Smarter

Read This Story, Get Way Smarter

Using technology can change your brain — and not always for the better. Here’s a primer on how your tech habits might be helping or hurting your IQ.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

The World’s Greatest Geek Lingerie

The World’s Greatest Geek Lingerie

Nintendo-themed naughties? Check. iPhone-styled thong? Check. When it comes to hot women wearing geeky lingerie, this is as good as it gets.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Olivia Wilde

Hump Day Hottie: Olivia Wilde

Fuck leprechauns, four leaf clovers, and pots of gold. This Wilde Irish rose is our St. Patty’s Day treat.

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

Facebook CEO missing since Thursday. Police now believe excessive sweat may be to blame.

Video: Introducing Photoshop’s New ‘PhotoBomb’ Tool

Video: Introducing Photoshop’s New ‘PhotoBomb’ Tool

Miss an opportunity to ruin a perfectly good party pic? Fear not: Photoshop’s new “PhotoBomb” tool can help you defile a photo after the fact with just a couple simple clicks.

Hump Day Hottie: Erin Barry

Hump Day Hottie: Erin Barry

The wife of former NBA baller Brent Barry has got some serious game of her own — enough to lure Tony Parker from desperate housewife Eva Longoria.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

iTunes Psychology: Your Playlist, Your Self

iTunes Psychology: Your Playlist, Your Self

You may not realize it, but your iTunes playlist tells people a lot about your personality. Ready to see what message your music is sending?

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

Think ladies are the only ones putting on the fake “O”-face? Think again. Dr. Smartass explains.

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

The new iPhone Nano will be so small you’ll need a magnifying glass to see it and so cheap Apple will be paying you to use one. Hey, we read it on the InterWebs, so it must be true.

Too Little Too Latex: Government Probes Condom-Free Desires

Too Little Too Latex: Government Probes Condom-Free Desires

Try this one on for size: The government is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to research why men don’t like wearing condoms. Yes, really.

The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

Who are the sexiest geeks? Here’s your chance to decide. eSarcasm serves up seven of the hottest nerds on Earth. Vote early and often for your faves.

How Sluts are Saving the Species

How Sluts are Saving the Species

The next time you see a girl in a tight shirt and short skirt, you should stop and say thank you — but not for the reason you might expect. Dr. Smartass explains.

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

New Online Dating Service Offers Membership Only to Uggos

Screw BeautifulPeople.com. If your goblin-like appearance frequently frightens small children, AbsoluteUggos may be the dating site for you.