Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Read This Story, Get Way Smarter

Read This Story, Get Way Smarter

Using technology can change your brain — and not always for the better. Here’s a primer on how your tech habits might be helping or hurting your IQ.

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

Hooking up with someone online doesn’t have to be difficult. Just follow these seven simple rules, and you’ll be clicking your way to climactic glory.

The Dark Side of Texting

The Dark Side of Texting

Before you open that next text from your special someone, you may want to read what Dr. Smartass discovered.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

If you’re guilty of any of these Facebook faux pas, you’re in danger in being unfriended by everyone you know. Consider yourself warned.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

WNBA star Diana Taurasi strips down in ESPN’s “Body Issue” 2010 — and once you’ve seen this photo, we suspect she’ll be stripping down in your daydreams, too.

Video: Mark Zuckerberg’s Version of the Facebook Movie

Video: Mark Zuckerberg’s Version of the Facebook Movie

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is coming out with his own edition of The Social Network, and eSarcasm has the trailer to prove it. Would we lie to you?

Hump Day Hotties: Bree Olsen & Natalie Kenly

Hump Day Hotties: Bree Olsen & Natalie Kenly

Double your pleasure, double your fun with these two hotties, aka, the “goddesses” that light up Charlie Sheen’s life.

Hump Day Hottie: Claudia Lynx

Hump Day Hottie: Claudia Lynx

Meet the “Goddess of Persia.” Maybe those Iranians are on to something.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Myspace to Launch Its Own Smartphone, Sources Say

Myspace to Launch Its Own Smartphone, Sources Say

The Facebook phone may be a no-go, but another social network is building its own device. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Myspace phone.

The Super Bowl Ads They Don’t Want You to See

The Super Bowl Ads They Don’t Want You to See

The networks call them objectionable; we think they’re delectable. Here are our picks for the best banned Super Bowl ads of all time. Prepare for farting, man-on-man snarfling, and asparagus love.

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

Technology is changing the way we love, lust, and even thrust. Dr. Smartass checks out two saucy new studies to see how our attitudes (and assitudes) are shifting.

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Alert! Alert! Tech douchebaggery levels are reaching all-time highs. So how much of a total tech douche are you? Take our highly scientific quiz to find out.

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

Yes, TC is apparently for sale, and we’re apparently buying them. Even we can’t keep these things straight.

12 Great Tweets Throughout the Ages

12 Great Tweets Throughout the Ages

Think Twitter is only four years old? History’s greatest figures have been tweeting for centuries. Here’s what Jesus, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, & others had to say (in 140 characters or less).

20 Tweets Bill Gates Hasn’t Sent Yet (But Probably Will)

20 Tweets Bill Gates Hasn’t Sent Yet (But Probably Will)

The world’s geekiest billionaire has finally signed onto Twitter. What’s he going to tell the world? We have a few ideas.