Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

Sony’s original Walkman turns 30 years old this week. He sat down with eSarcasm for an exclusive interview about his life and ongoing struggles with depression.

AT&T Vying For ‘Worst Company Ever’ Award

AT&T Vying For ‘Worst Company Ever’ Award

An AT&T executive says the company has been quietly competing for a prestigious “Worst Company Ever” distinction. Ah, yes…suddenly, it all makes sense.

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

That hot girl’s bra holds more than just two handfuls of fun. Dr. Smartass explains what breast size and shape can tell you about a woman.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

What happens when Facebook runs the post office? We’re about to find out. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Erin McNaught

Hump Day Hottie: Erin McNaught

This Canberra beauty is Australian for ‘unbelievably hot’

Hump Day Hottie: Denise Richards

Hump Day Hottie: Denise Richards

Meet the first Mrs. Charlie Sheen, hubba-hubba actress Denise Richards

Hump Day Hottie: Audrina Partridge

Hump Day Hottie: Audrina Partridge

One look at awesome Audrina makes us want to head for The Hills

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

Facebook CEO missing since Thursday. Police now believe excessive sweat may be to blame.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Oldest Living Microsoft Fanboy Tells All

Oldest Living Microsoft Fanboy Tells All

When Microsoft gets criticized unfairly on the Net, people like Hyrum Winsocki leap to its defense. eSarcasm gets up close and personal with the original MSFT Fanboy.

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6 browser has been found brutally murdered, police confirm. The browser had been the target of malicious attacks for years.

The Dark Side of Texting

The Dark Side of Texting

Before you open that next text from your special someone, you may want to read what Dr. Smartass discovered.

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Looking for sizzling sex? A higher power could help. Dr. Smartass reveals one of science’s best-kept secrets.

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

eSarcasm LLC would like to formally announce lawsuits against Michael Arrington, Apple, AT&T, and a bunch of other places that are really starting to piss us off.

Five More Ways to Avoid Getting Sued on Twitter

Five More Ways to Avoid Getting Sued on Twitter

The wrong tweets can land you up to your ass in attorneys. Our advice? Avoid Webcam girls, crystal meth, and Julia Allison.

10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

Turns out social networks and socialites have plenty of things in common — you know, like how often they go down and how important it is to fill their holes.