Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

How Do You Define Sex?

How Do You Define Sex?

Which intimate acts count as sex and which are just innocent drive-bys? Some of science’s foremost sexperts decided to search for the answer.

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

Some say the Web’s proliferation of porn is eating away at America’s morals. Dr. Smartass, however, says it’s making us better citizens — and he has the hard data to prove it.

Pope Announces New Catholics-Only Social Network

Pope Announces New Catholics-Only Social Network

Christened ‘Gracebook,’ the holy social network plans to bring Facebook to its knees. An eSarcasm exclusive.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

25 Ways to Be a Total Tool on Twitter

25 Ways to Be a Total Tool on Twitter

Anyone can be annoying on Twitter, but achieving complete assclown status takes serious dedication. Here are 25 obnoxious Twitter behaviors that ought to get you banned for life.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Stephanie Seymour

Hump Day Hottie: Stephanie Seymour

Meet our new favorite MILF. We’d love to see more of Ms. Seymour.

Video: If Classic Movie Characters Had the Internet

Video: If Classic Movie Characters Had the Internet

Films like Star Wars and The Shawshank Redemption might have ended a bit differently if their characters had had access to the Web.

Hump Day Hottie: Bianca Kajlich

Hump Day Hottie: Bianca Kajlich

Meet the ex-wife of US soccer star Landon Donovan. Now we finally have a reason to pay attention to the World Cup.

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

Facebook CEO missing since Thursday. Police now believe excessive sweat may be to blame.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist has caved and censored its Adult Services ads, thus putting an end to prostitution for all time. Or something like that.

Yes, Virginia, Geeks Are Better in Bed

Yes, Virginia, Geeks <i>Are</i> Better in Bed

Defying all expectations, technology professionals were voted the best lovers in a UK poll. Why? Because their tools are rechargeable.

EXCLUSIVE: 12 Secret Facts About Microsoft’s Windows 8

EXCLUSIVE: 12 Secret Facts About Microsoft’s Windows 8

Think you’ve seen Windows 8? Think again. Only eSarcasm has the inside scoop on the most exciting new features in Microsoft’s latest platform.

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

According to a new study by Nielsen, preppies flock to Facebook while greasers mingle on MySpace. But where should the rest of us go? Here’s a handy guide.

Get Ready for the Wal-Mart Computer Experience

Get Ready for the Wal-Mart Computer Experience

From its impossibly bright color scheme to its mullet-sporting virtual assistant Clipford, the Wal-Mart Computer Experience is expected to be a hit with shoppers nationwide.

Take the Chat-Status Personality Test

Take the Chat-Status Personality Test

Your online chat status tells the world far more than you realize. Dr. Smartass explains what your instant messaging settings say about your personality.

Google Condoms: Coming Soon?

Google Condoms: Coming Soon?

This just in: Google has actually toyed with the idea of making a Google-branded condom (yes, seriously). Here are 20 slogans that could appear on the gRubber wrappers.