Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

How Do You Define Sex?

How Do You Define Sex?

Which intimate acts count as sex and which are just innocent drive-bys? Some of science’s foremost sexperts decided to search for the answer.

Apple iPad Users Suffering From ‘Miracle Fatigue’

Apple iPad Users Suffering From ‘Miracle Fatigue’

As Apple gets ready to introduce the iPad 2 on March 2, experts fear that iPad fans may not be able to withstand another miraculous, life-changing device.

The Funniest Words From Google’s ‘Instant’ Blacklist

The Funniest Words From Google’s ‘Instant’ Blacklist

Google has banned hundreds of terms from showing up in its “Instant” search results — and some of them are more than a little bizarre.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Ass-cuse Me, Butt Will You Sit In This Chair?

Ass-cuse Me, Butt Will You Sit In This Chair?

Someone has invented a chair that automatically copies the ass of anyone sitting on it. This is an idea we simply cannot get behind.

Quickies

iToons: What’s Your Real Relationship Status?

iToons: What’s Your Real Relationship Status?

Let’s face it: Facebook’s options for relationship status don’t always cover all the territory. Here’s a more realistic set of choices.

Video: A Message From Steve Jobs About Android and the White iPhone

Video: A Message From Steve Jobs About Android and the White iPhone

The Magical One himself took time out of his busy schedule to deliver this important video message.

iToons: When Twitter Meets Travel

iToons: When Twitter Meets Travel

Think how much easier holiday travel would be if the airlines used Twitter’s API.

iToons: Groupon’s Controversy Gets Worse

iToons: Groupon’s Controversy Gets Worse

Think those Groupon Super Bowl commercials were bad? Just wait till you see what the company’s up to now.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Scientists Solve Mystery of How Cats Drink Without Getting Wet

Scientists Solve Mystery of How Cats Drink Without Getting Wet

Scientists have finally uncovered the answer to one of nature’s most elusive mysteries. And it’s a lot simpler than you think.

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

Tech products have some really stupid disclaimers. Here are 30 of the worst we’ve seen.

Most Influential Tweeters in the Twitterverse

Most Influential Tweeters in the Twitterverse

We’ve discovered the quickest path to becoming a Twitter influencer: Create your own rating system for Twitter influencers.

Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Do you have a dirty mind? If you interpret these seemingly innocent news headlines the same way we did, the answer is probably yes.

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6 browser has been found brutally murdered, police confirm. The browser had been the target of malicious attacks for years.

Welcome to McDonald’s; We Saw Her On Her Knees

Welcome to McDonald’s; We Saw Her On Her Knees

A man is suing McDonald’s, claiming an employee published risqué pics of his wife after finding his phone in the store. Here’s the latest, sung to “Welcome to the Jungle.”

Your Avatar Is Fat, Ugly, and Stupid — Just Like You

Your Avatar Is Fat, Ugly, and Stupid — Just Like You

Microsoft’s working on a new system that’d build realistic-looking avatars based on how fit or fat you are. Here are nine big ways we hope the technology will be embraced.