Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Those Hips Don’t Lie: Her Butt and Her Brain

Those Hips Don’t Lie: Her Butt and Her Brain

News flash: There’s more to her derriere than meets the eye. Dr. Smartass dives into some surprising science behind the behind.

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

Having trouble separating the tweeps from the creeps? Let our scrupulously researched, deeply thoughtful decision guide do the thinking for you.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

40 Numbers You Should Never Forget

40 Numbers You Should Never Forget

Forget every analysis you’ve ever read — these 40 numbers are the most important figures compiled in the history of mankind. Read them. Study them. Make sweet love to them. Repeat.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

WNBA star Diana Taurasi strips down in ESPN’s “Body Issue” 2010 — and once you’ve seen this photo, we suspect she’ll be stripping down in your daydreams, too.

Something Smells. Oh — It’s the Internet

Something Smells. Oh — It’s the Internet

Get a whiff of this: A communications company is getting ready to test a new Web-controlled scent system for your office or home. Do you smell what we smell?

Hump Day Hottie: Carrie Prejean

Hump Day Hottie: Carrie Prejean

The former Miss California USA is back with a vengeance — and a new book.

Video: New Airport Security Measures Explained

Video: New Airport Security Measures Explained

The TSA is only interested in your safety — and possibly fondling your junk. But it’s all in the name of national security. (Warning: Not for the squeamish.)

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

EXCLUSIVE: Hands-On With Microsoft’s Windows TV

EXCLUSIVE: Hands-On With Microsoft’s Windows TV

Microsoft’s ready to take the set-top market by storm — or at least by gentle rainshower. Here’s a sneak peek at the company’s exciting new Windows TV device.

Mark Zuckerberg: The Early Years

Mark Zuckerberg: The Early Years

What was Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg like as a child? A sweaty sheep-throwing computer prodigy, a hopeless dweeb, and a complete dick. Here’s the untold story. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

See how your Internet porn habits compare to other people’s with a provocative new study. Dr. Smartass has the details.

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

In a Washington Post op-ed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg promises to right Facebook’s privacy wrongs. We obtained an early draft of that essay that tells a slightly different story.

The Best Way to Break Up

The Best Way to Break Up

Breaking up isn’t easy, but Dr. Smartass has some science-tested steps to make it sting a little less. (He told us they were science-tested, anyway — to be honest, we’re not fully convinced.)

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

Even the world’s greatest geek humor site can only take so much evil. Like Google, we’re giving China the finger — and a lot more. An eSarcasm exclusive.

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

Tits and tech — what more could a guy want? From an iPod-charging bra to one with its own USB keyboard, these eight pieces of intimate apparel are sure to get any geek’s heart racing.