Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

What happens when Facebook runs the post office? We’re about to find out. An eSarcasm exclusive.

22 Internet Activities That’ll Send You Straight to Hell

22 Internet Activities That’ll Send You Straight to Hell

You know that thing you did online the other day? Yeah, you’re going to hell for that. Sorry, chief. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

This Brassiere Could Save Your Life

This Brassiere Could Save Your Life

The Emergency Bra doesn’t merely lift, shape, and support, it may also save your life in case of a gas attack. Even if not, it’s certainly worth a try.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Logo-a-Gogo: 10 New Tech Company Logos Revealed

Logo-a-Gogo: 10 New Tech Company Logos Revealed

MySpace isn’t the only big site with a new logo. AOL, Microsoft, Google, and Apple are all furiously rebranding themselves for a new and largely blank generation. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

WNBA star Diana Taurasi strips down in ESPN’s “Body Issue” 2010 — and once you’ve seen this photo, we suspect she’ll be stripping down in your daydreams, too.

Hump Day Hottie: Kari Byron

Hump Day Hottie: Kari Byron

This sexy Mythbusters sidekick can blow us up any time she wants.

Hump Day Hottie: Sarah Grunewald

Hump Day Hottie: Sarah Grunewald

We don’t know what’s stuck to this Danish beauty’s nylons, but we want to lick them too.

Hump Day Hottie: Angelina Jolie

Hump Day Hottie: Angelina Jolie

Where can you find Angelina Jolie? On the arm of Brad Pitt, in the movie Salt, and in the dictionary under “hot.”

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Formal Offer: We Would Like to Buy Palm

Formal Offer: We Would Like to Buy Palm

Well, kiddos, this is it: eSarcasm’s hitting the big time. Yep, we’re about to buy Palm and become a massive corporation. Assuming they accept our offer, that is.

12 More Companies Google Should Acquire

12 More Companies Google Should Acquire

Dear Google: Please acquire these 12 companies. It would provide great comic relief. Love, eSarcasm

Six Truly Terrifying Geek Halloween Costumes

Six Truly Terrifying Geek Halloween Costumes

Stuck for a Halloween costume? There’s still time to go as one of these scary geeks. Just don’t blame us if instead of giving you candy they sic the dogs on you.

Too Little Too Latex: Government Probes Condom-Free Desires

Too Little Too Latex: Government Probes Condom-Free Desires

Try this one on for size: The government is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to research why men don’t like wearing condoms. Yes, really.

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

We tried, honest we did. But we just don’t give a damn about white iPhones, 4G networks, Windows Phone 7, or how much hair Christine O’Donnell has on her nether bits. Sorry.

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Forget those old lists of outdated back-to-school advice — these are the tips today’s teens really need before heading back to the classroom.

This Aol! Story Has Been Brought to You by the Borg

This Aol! Story Has Been Brought to You by the Borg

Aol! is building a Web filled with news articles composed by soulless software. eSarcasm gets up close and algorithmical with the brains behind its Seed project.