Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Screw the square-jawed, six-packed stunners — good old-fashioned geeks are what women really want. Just ask Dr. Smartass.

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

According to a new study by Nielsen, preppies flock to Facebook while greasers mingle on MySpace. But where should the rest of us go? Here’s a handy guide.

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

A new online game attempts to teach teens about sex using characters like The Sperminator, Wonder Vag, and Willy the Kid. Yes, really.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Carrie Prejean

Hump Day Hottie: Carrie Prejean

The former Miss California USA is back with a vengeance — and a new book.

Hump Day Hottie: Izabela Lukomska-Pyzalska

Hump Day Hottie: Izabela Lukomska-Pyzalska

We get a real kick out of this former Polish playmate turned soccer club manager. We think you will too.

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

Even the most advanced technologies can’t make certain things look bigger.

iToons: Is This Coffee Machine HTML5-Compliant?

iToons: Is This Coffee Machine HTML5-Compliant?

When Web designers roam out into the real world, strange conversations can occur.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

The Best Way to Break Up

The Best Way to Break Up

Breaking up isn’t easy, but Dr. Smartass has some science-tested steps to make it sting a little less. (He told us they were science-tested, anyway — to be honest, we’re not fully convinced.)

7 Things That’ll Stop You From Becoming a Chinese Astronaut

7 Things That’ll Stop You From Becoming a Chinese Astronaut

China’s searching for “superhumans” in its next-generation of astronauts, and anything from bad breath to body odor will take you out of the running. Think you could pass the test?

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

Even the world’s greatest geek humor site can only take so much evil. Like Google, we’re giving China the finger — and a lot more. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Some Big News About Breasts

Some Big News About Breasts

Something big is happening in the world of breast research. Really big. Super-duper big. Are you ready for this?

eSarcasm vs. CNET and Wired: Get the Facts

eSarcasm vs. CNET and Wired: Get the Facts

If Microsoft can create its own “study” to prove its product is better than the competition — well, damn it, we can do the same thing.

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

Apple Making Microscopically Small iPhone

The new iPhone Nano will be so small you’ll need a magnifying glass to see it and so cheap Apple will be paying you to use one. Hey, we read it on the InterWebs, so it must be true.

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Today you’re on top of the blogosphere. Tomorrow you’ll wake up to find you’ve been replaced by a software routine. eSarcasm interviews the bot behind it all, Dr. Al Gorithm.