Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Fanboy Flirtation: 10 Dating Sites We’d Love to See

Fanboy Flirtation: 10 Dating Sites We’d Love to See

Dating site Cupidtino promises to bring Apple fanboys and girls together for awkward, Jobs-worshipping love. But why stop there? Here are 10 other fanboy dating sites that will take the world by storm.

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

Exclusive: Facebook to Take Over United States Postal Service

What happens when Facebook runs the post office? We’re about to find out. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Picking Microsoft’s new tagline (“Be What’s Next”) wasn’t easy. Here are some alternative slogans that didn’t quite make the cut.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

Humanity’s oldest ancestor, 4.4-million-year-old Ardi, talks about what it’s like to be the world’s first hip hop diva, and reveals the real reasons why men walk upright.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Audrina Partridge

Hump Day Hottie: Audrina Partridge

One look at awesome Audrina makes us want to head for The Hills

Hump Day Hottie: Diora Baird

Hump Day Hottie: Diora Baird

There’s nothing like getting down to the Baird essentials. Meet Diora the explorer.

iToons: Trick or Tweet

iToons: Trick or Tweet

Strange things can happen when you celebrate Halloween in a Twitter-friendly world.

iToons: Get Ready For Twitter Therapy

iToons: Get Ready For Twitter Therapy

Is social media making you feel insecure? Inadequate? Incontinent? You aren’t alone — and help is available.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

In a Washington Post op-ed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg promises to right Facebook’s privacy wrongs. We obtained an early draft of that essay that tells a slightly different story.

If Doctor Seuss Worked for Microsoft…

If Doctor Seuss Worked for Microsoft…

He’d be out there pitching Windows Phone 7 handsets. Here’s how that might go, to the tune of Green Eggs & Ham. (Warning: Not safe for kiddies or excessively mature adults.)

Oops! 15 Unintentionally Dirty URLs

Oops! 15 Unintentionally Dirty URLs

They may sound filthy, but ferrethandjobs.com and penisland.net are perfectly innocent sites. Here are 15 of the Web’s most accidentally vulgar addresses.

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

Tits and tech — what more could a guy want? From an iPod-charging bra to one with its own USB keyboard, these eight pieces of intimate apparel are sure to get any geek’s heart racing.

What Your Typing Style Says About Your Brain

What Your Typing Style Says About Your Brain

The way you type could reveal a lot about that scrambled omelette you call a brain. Dr. Smartass explains why one common style could be cause for concern.

Craigslist Cleaned Up: Inside the New Adult Services

Craigslist Cleaned Up: Inside the New Adult Services

Craigslist cleaned up its adult service offerings to curb the blatant sale of sex online. So is the new approach really working? eSarcasm investigates.

When Boinking Goes Bonkers: The 10 Strangest Sexual Fetishes

When Boinking Goes Bonkers: The 10 Strangest Sexual Fetishes

You want me to do what?! From fondling trees to fellating robots, Dr. Smartass delves into 10 of the strangest sexual fetishes around.