Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

The SexBox: 10 X-Rated Games We Want to See

The SexBox: 10 X-Rated Games We Want to See

A Silicon Valley company wants to create an adult gaming system called the SexBox. From “No Need For Speed” to “Panty Raider,” here are 10 X-rated games we hope it will offer.

What Your Typing Style Says About Your Brain

What Your Typing Style Says About Your Brain

The way you type could reveal a lot about that scrambled omelette you call a brain. Dr. Smartass explains why one common style could be cause for concern.

The Real Anatomy of a Twitter Whale

The Real Anatomy of a Twitter Whale

Strap on your scuba gear, kiddos: It’s time for a lesson in Twitter biology.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

‘Evil Tech Idol’ Names Final Three Contenders

‘Evil Tech Idol’ Names Final Three Contenders

Following a shocking results night elimination, Apple, Comcast, and Facebook will advance to the final showdown in this year’s Evil Tech Idol competition.

Quickies

iToons: The Wrath of Jobs, the Wrath of God

iToons: The Wrath of Jobs, the Wrath of God

When you touch the forbidden fruit, you have to deal with the consequences.

Hump Day Hottie: Bianca Kajlich

Hump Day Hottie: Bianca Kajlich

Meet the ex-wife of US soccer star Landon Donovan. Now we finally have a reason to pay attention to the World Cup.

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

Facebook CEO missing since Thursday. Police now believe excessive sweat may be to blame.

iToons: This Is Robert Scoble In High School

iToons: This Is Robert Scoble In High School

Ever wonder what the Scobleizer was like during his teenage years? Check out this cartoon to find out.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

A new online game attempts to teach teens about sex using characters like The Sperminator, Wonder Vag, and Willy the Kid. Yes, really.

Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

eSarcasm is pleased to announce the renewed endorsement of Jesus Christ for the year 2010 A.D. “We feel like our business has been resurrected,” the site’s founders say.

Sex Survey Reveals Americans’ Sauciest Secrets

Sex Survey Reveals Americans’ Sauciest Secrets

Researchers have released the results from America’s biggest sex survey to date — and there are more than a few steamy surprises inside.

12 Great Tweets Throughout the Ages

12 Great Tweets Throughout the Ages

Think Twitter is only four years old? History’s greatest figures have been tweeting for centuries. Here’s what Jesus, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, & others had to say (in 140 characters or less).

Yes, Virginia, Geeks Are Better in Bed

Yes, Virginia, Geeks <i>Are</i> Better in Bed

Defying all expectations, technology professionals were voted the best lovers in a UK poll. Why? Because their tools are rechargeable.

Michael Bolton to Release ‘Worst Of’ Retrospective

Michael Bolton to Release ‘Worst Of’ Retrospective

Bolton to revisit embarrassingly bad songs as part of compilation for new Amazon music-streaming service; Phil Collins reportedly in talks as well.

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.