Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Do you have a dirty mind? If you interpret these seemingly innocent news headlines the same way we did, the answer is probably yes.

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

Think ladies are the only ones putting on the fake “O”-face? Think again. Dr. Smartass explains.

The Real Anatomy of a Twitter Whale

The Real Anatomy of a Twitter Whale

Strap on your scuba gear, kiddos: It’s time for a lesson in Twitter biology.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

AT&T doesn’t like people e-mailing its CEO — but it doesn’t stop there. eSarcasm has identified 10 other actions that’ll have AT&T’s legal team up your ass in a hurry.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Kym Johnson

Hump Day Hottie: Kym Johnson

Meet the dynamic duo from Dancing With the Stars — and we don’t mean her partner, Hines Ward.

Hump Day Hottie: Sophie Turner

Hump Day Hottie: Sophie Turner

Meet Australian supermodel Sophie Turner. Now we know why they call it the “land of wonder.”

Hump Day Hottie: Kathy Gardiner

Hump Day Hottie: Kathy Gardiner

Need to refi your mortgage? We’ve got just the loan officer you want to see.

Hump Day Hottie: Elizabeth Banks

Hump Day Hottie: Elizabeth Banks

Some banks we wouldn’t mind bailing out. Our favorite one is named Elizabeth.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

The Secret to a Sexy Profile Picture

The Secret to a Sexy Profile Picture

What you don’t know about your profile picture could hurt you. Dr. Smartass lays bare what men and women really want to see when it comes to self-promoting snapshots.

Introducing ‘Abstinence’: The Virtual Reality Video Game

Introducing ‘Abstinence’: The Virtual Reality Video Game

A new virtual-reality video game promises to help you practice saying no to sex. Wait a minute — what?!

Help, I’ve Just Been Psychologically Profiled on Twitter

Help, I’ve Just Been Psychologically Profiled on Twitter

A recently launched service claims to create psychological profiles based purely on what you tweet. We put it to the test — and may be checking into the nearest asylum as a result.

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Today you’re on top of the blogosphere. Tomorrow you’ll wake up to find you’ve been replaced by a software routine. eSarcasm interviews the bot behind it all, Dr. Al Gorithm.

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

Yes, it’s true. In two days our long wait will be over and the White iPad 2 will be upon us. We’ve got exclusive photos of Apple’s next miracle gadget. Prepare to be blown away.

Avoid the Condoms, Stick With the Barley Loaf

Avoid the Condoms, Stick With the Barley Loaf

What do contraception, male love juice, John Madden and barley loaves have in common? We were hoping you could tell us. Join us for a long strange trip into our reader mailbag.

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Bill Gates is working on the next generation of condoms (yes, seriously) — and only eSarcasm has the skinny on how the high-tech rubbers will revolutionize sex as we know it.