Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

‘Everyone Loves AT&T’ and Other Ridiculous Research

‘Everyone Loves AT&T’ and Other Ridiculous Research

If you believe some recent research claiming most customers actually love AT&T, you’ll probably believe these equally absurd studies compiled by our own Dr. Smartass, too.

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

Sony’s original Walkman turns 30 years old this week. He sat down with eSarcasm for an exclusive interview about his life and ongoing struggles with depression.

ICANN Locks Itself In Bathroom With .XXX, Refuses to Come Out

ICANN Locks Itself In Bathroom With .XXX, Refuses to Come Out

Governing body says it needs more time to research creating a new domain exclusively for online porn. Can it please just get some privacy? Is that too much to ask?

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Today you’re on top of the blogosphere. Tomorrow you’ll wake up to find you’ve been replaced by a software routine. eSarcasm interviews the bot behind it all, Dr. Al Gorithm.

Quickies

Video: If Classic Movie Characters Had the Internet

Video: If Classic Movie Characters Had the Internet

Films like Star Wars and The Shawshank Redemption might have ended a bit differently if their characters had had access to the Web.

Hump Day Hottie: Raquel Gibson

Hump Day Hottie: Raquel Gibson

What do you get when you mix Italian beauty with Filipino? Heaven itself — and her name is Raquel.

Hump Day Hottie: Jasmine Lennard

Hump Day Hottie: Jasmine Lennard

The forecast for this would-be supermodel: cloudy with a chance of nipples.

Video: Forgotten Nintendo Games of the 80s

Video: Forgotten Nintendo Games of the 80s

Do you remember playing video games like “Milli Vanilli Brothers,” “Dirty Dancing,” and “Tear Down This Wall”? Neither do we. But apparently, they existed.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

ICANN Locks Itself In Bathroom With .XXX, Refuses to Come Out

ICANN Locks Itself In Bathroom With .XXX, Refuses to Come Out

Governing body says it needs more time to research creating a new domain exclusively for online porn. Can it please just get some privacy? Is that too much to ask?

Interview with the World’s First Asexual Ant

Interview with the World’s First Asexual Ant

Scientists have discovered the first known species of completely asexual ants. So why’d the lady crawlers decide to dispense with dudes? We sit down with the queen to find out.

EXCLUSIVE: Hands-On With Microsoft’s Windows TV

EXCLUSIVE: Hands-On With Microsoft’s Windows TV

Microsoft’s ready to take the set-top market by storm — or at least by gentle rainshower. Here’s a sneak peek at the company’s exciting new Windows TV device.

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

A universal “Like” button, Facebook? Nice try, but our Web-wide “Indifferent” button is way more useful.

Are You a Sexsomniac?

Are You a Sexsomniac?

If there’s one title worth listing on your resumé, “sexsomniac” might be it. Dr. Smartass looks into what’s arguably the oddest (and most unintentionally slutty) medical condition known to man.

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

Tech products have some really stupid disclaimers. Here are 30 of the worst we’ve seen.

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

We’ve gotten our hands on yet another internal Apple memo dealing with the iPhone 4’s antenna problems and the media. It’s much worse than you think.