Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

In honor of Facebook’s 500-million member milestone, we offer these fun factoids about the social network everyone either loves or loathes.

Myspace to Launch Its Own Smartphone, Sources Say

Myspace to Launch Its Own Smartphone, Sources Say

The Facebook phone may be a no-go, but another social network is building its own device. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Myspace phone.

Frak The Shack: 25 Better Ways to Rebrand RadioShack

Frak The Shack: 25 Better Ways to Rebrand RadioShack

RadioShack is attempting to reinvent itself by taking on a new name: “The Shack.” Come on, RS — you can do better than that. Here are 25 more appropriate alternatives.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

What Your Username Says About You

What Your Username Says About You

A username can make or break you on the Net. So does your handle say “stud” or “dud”? Dr. Smartass has some guidelines to help you figure it out.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Anna Chapman

Hump Day Hottie: Anna Chapman

This former Russian spy turned Maxim model has a license to thrill.

iToons: iConfess, iRepent

iToons: iConfess, iRepent

Apple’s iPhone has a Catholic confession app — and boy, does it ever make you pay for your sins.

Hump Day Hottie: Christian Serratos

Hump Day Hottie: Christian Serratos

This Twilight star shows her love — and a lot more — for the small and the furry.

iToons: How Most People Pick a Smartphone

iToons: How Most People Pick a Smartphone

To iPhone, or to Droid? We geeks may obsess over specs, but most people have a different way of deciding.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Looking for Porn in All the Wrong Places and Other Google Search Stories

Looking for Porn in All the Wrong Places and Other Google Search Stories

Google wants you to share your ‘search story’ with the world on YouTube. After seeing some of our search stories, they might just change their minds.

40 Numbers You Should Never Forget

40 Numbers You Should Never Forget

Forget every analysis you’ve ever read — these 40 numbers are the most important figures compiled in the history of mankind. Read them. Study them. Make sweet love to them. Repeat.

Memo to Murdoch: We Will Buy MySpace

Memo to Murdoch: We Will Buy MySpace

So MySpace is for sale, eh? No worries, Rupe — we’d be happy to take it off your hands. Somebody’s got to think about all those homeless strippers.

Mythical Lesbians Are Breaking the Internets

Mythical Lesbians Are Breaking the Internets

Imaginary sex-crazed lesbians are bringing the Web to a standstill in Sweden. If that sentence doesn’t intrigue you, we’re not sure what will.

Read This Story, Get Way Smarter

Read This Story, Get Way Smarter

Using technology can change your brain — and not always for the better. Here’s a primer on how your tech habits might be helping or hurting your IQ.

Four Hot iPhone Apps for Bro’s and Ho’s

Four Hot iPhone Apps for Bro’s and Ho’s

Pepsi apologized for releasing a ‘sexist’ iPhone app after feminists howled. We say, bring it on. If you liked AMP UP, you’ll love Ho-B-gone, iPhat, and Femi-none.

How Sluts are Saving the Species

How Sluts are Saving the Species

The next time you see a girl in a tight shirt and short skirt, you should stop and say thank you — but not for the reason you might expect. Dr. Smartass explains.