Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Your Cheatin’ Art

Your Cheatin’ Art

Want to break a few Commandments? Sites like the Ashley Madison Agency make adultery as easy as 123. But repent, would-be sinners, before you tumble into the pit of Hell.

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

Technology is changing the way we love, lust, and even thrust. Dr. Smartass checks out two saucy new studies to see how our attitudes (and assitudes) are shifting.

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist has caved and censored its Adult Services ads, thus putting an end to prostitution for all time. Or something like that.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Pinocchio Sex Tapes Circulating Across Net

Pinocchio Sex Tapes Circulating Across Net

A porn video featuring the star of “Shrek Forever After” with an underage Marionette is spreading across the Web. Really. Would we lie to you?

Quickies

Video: Exclusive Preview of Kanye West’s New Twitter Rap Video

Video: Exclusive Preview of Kanye West’s New Twitter Rap Video

Kanye West has been baring his soul on Twitter. Now his tweets are a music video. Prepare to experience him as you never have before — 140 characters at a time.

iToons: The Pain of PowerPoint

iToons: The Pain of PowerPoint

Who needs waterboarding when you have Microsoft PowerPoint? Here’s a look at how everyone’s favorite presentation software was really meant to be used.

Hump Day Hottie: Claudia Lynx

Hump Day Hottie: Claudia Lynx

Meet the “Goddess of Persia.” Maybe those Iranians are on to something.

iToons: Meet the Social Media Marriage Counselor

iToons: Meet the Social Media Marriage Counselor

From him staring at other women’s tweets to her “liking” other guys’ things, relationships in the social networking era can be tough to navigate.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Internet Turns 40, Begins Midlife Crisis

Internet Turns 40, Begins Midlife Crisis

Fast cars? Frosted tips? Foxy babes? Yep — looks like the Internet is having a midlife crisis as it creeps up to the big 4-0 this week.

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg Goes Buck Naked

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg Goes Buck Naked

Social networking king sheds his chinos to promote Facebook’s new anti-privacy “bare it and share it” campaign.

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

From spying squirrels to bomb-sniffing bees, animals have served some unusual roles in military operations. Here are the five of the strangest attempted army-animal combinations.

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

A new online game attempts to teach teens about sex using characters like The Sperminator, Wonder Vag, and Willy the Kid. Yes, really.

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

Tech products have some really stupid disclaimers. Here are 30 of the worst we’ve seen.

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

Yes, it’s true. In two days our long wait will be over and the White iPad 2 will be upon us. We’ve got exclusive photos of Apple’s next miracle gadget. Prepare to be blown away.

25 More Sexting Acronyms Parents Should Know

25 More Sexting Acronyms Parents Should Know

Your teens are doing the nasty on their cell phones and you don’t know even know it. God, you’re so lame. We can’t believe you’re their parents. You make us wish they’d never been born. OMG.