Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

5 of the World’s Strangest Cell Phones

5 of the World’s Strangest Cell Phones

A flute phone? A cigarette phone? Yeah — there are some weird mobile devices out there. These are five of the oddest we’ve seen.

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

This ain’t your grandparents’ Binaca: Scientists have developed a simple spray that can turn your below-the-belt buddy into the Energizer Bunny. At least, relatively speaking.

Yes, Virginia, Geeks Are Better in Bed

Yes, Virginia, Geeks <i>Are</i> Better in Bed

Defying all expectations, technology professionals were voted the best lovers in a UK poll. Why? Because their tools are rechargeable.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Abercrombie Introduces New ‘Slut Gene’ Slut Jeans

Abercrombie Introduces New ‘Slut Gene’ Slut Jeans

Inspired by the discovery of a so-called “slut gene,” Abercrombie & Fitch has created a new kind of apparel for women who are proud to be promiscuous.

Quickies

iToons: What Happens When Villains Embrace Social Media?

iToons: What Happens When Villains Embrace Social Media?

Superheroes of the world might be in trouble once the bad guys figure out Twitter. Then again, maybe not.

Hump Day Hottie: Rima Fakih

Hump Day Hottie: Rima Fakih

Miss USA 2010 knows her way around a stripper’s pole — and that’s just one more reason to love her.

iToons: Why Facebook and the Bedroom Don’t Mix

iToons: Why Facebook and the Bedroom Don’t Mix

Some places just shouldn’t have a “like” button. Trust us.

iToons: iConfess, iRepent

iToons: iConfess, iRepent

Apple’s iPhone has a Catholic confession app — and boy, does it ever make you pay for your sins.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

More than a decade after issuing its famous “Don’t be evil” directive, Google decides to go all in with Satan. Their new corporate motto? We Own Your Ass.

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

No, it’s really true. Aol. just bought the world’s leading site for online news run by an autocratic tyrant with a funny accent. Here’s why. An eSarcasm exclusive.

How Do You Define Sex?

How Do You Define Sex?

Which intimate acts count as sex and which are just innocent drive-bys? Some of science’s foremost sexperts decided to search for the answer.

The Dumbest Questions on Yahoo Answers

The Dumbest Questions on Yahoo Answers

From credit cards stuck in computers to stunning displays of sexual confusion, people have some strange problems — and nowhere makes that more evident than the pages of Yahoo Answers.

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Six High Tech Inventions We’d Like to See

Six High Tech Inventions We’d Like to See

Gadgets that let you recognize faces or resolve disputes are so 2009. The real action is in gizmos that provide anal detection, flatulence redirection, and The Groper.

The 12 Craziest Google Interview Questions

The 12 Craziest Google Interview Questions

Want to work at Google? Then you’d better be ready to answer some very strange questions — like how many golf balls you can cram into a school bus, or why manhole covers are round.