Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Four Hot iPhone Apps for Bro’s and Ho’s

Four Hot iPhone Apps for Bro’s and Ho’s

Pepsi apologized for releasing a ‘sexist’ iPhone app after feminists howled. We say, bring it on. If you liked AMP UP, you’ll love Ho-B-gone, iPhat, and Femi-none.

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Alert! Alert! Tech douchebaggery levels are reaching all-time highs. So how much of a total tech douche are you? Take our highly scientific quiz to find out.

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

No, it’s really true. Aol. just bought the world’s leading site for online news run by an autocratic tyrant with a funny accent. Here’s why. An eSarcasm exclusive.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

The Best Way to Break Up

The Best Way to Break Up

Breaking up isn’t easy, but Dr. Smartass has some science-tested steps to make it sting a little less. (He told us they were science-tested, anyway — to be honest, we’re not fully convinced.)

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Gisele Bundchen

Hump Day Hottie: Gisele Bundchen

Gorgeous Gisele goes from worlds hottest supermodel to world’s hottest MILF.

Hump Day Hottie: Leeann Tweeden

Hump Day Hottie: Leeann Tweeden

Meet the hostess of Casino Poker After Dark. We’d like to poke her after dark.

Hump Day Hottie: Irina Shayk

Hump Day Hottie: Irina Shayk

There’s a whole lotta Shayk going on with this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model.

Hump Day Hottie: Elin Nordegren

Hump Day Hottie: Elin Nordegren

Tiger may be on the prowl, but he’s got something smokin’ at home.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names

20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names

From Beaver Cleaners to the Young Dong Restaurant, these unfortunate company names seem too funny to be true. We swear, though: They’re all 100 percent real.

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

Yes, it’s true. In two days our long wait will be over and the White iPad 2 will be upon us. We’ve got exclusive photos of Apple’s next miracle gadget. Prepare to be blown away.

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

In a Washington Post op-ed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg promises to right Facebook’s privacy wrongs. We obtained an early draft of that essay that tells a slightly different story.

New York Times Names Michael Arrington ‘Ethics Czar’

New York Times Names Michael Arrington ‘Ethics Czar’

TechCrunch editor to drag newspaper kicking and screaming into the morally flexible, douchebag-friendly world of Ethics 2.0

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Forget those old lists of outdated back-to-school advice — these are the tips today’s teens really need before heading back to the classroom.

The World’s Greatest Geek Lingerie

The World’s Greatest Geek Lingerie

Nintendo-themed naughties? Check. iPhone-styled thong? Check. When it comes to hot women wearing geeky lingerie, this is as good as it gets.