Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

We’ve gotten our hands on yet another internal Apple memo dealing with the iPhone 4′s antenna problems and the media. It’s much worse than you think.

Mark Zuckerberg: The Early Years

Mark Zuckerberg: The Early Years

What was Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg like as a child? A sweaty sheep-throwing computer prodigy, a hopeless dweeb, and a complete dick. Here’s the untold story. An eSarcasm exclusive.

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

A new Web site called Christian Chirp claims to be the Twitter for the God-fearing masses. Here are 20 ways “tweeting for Jesus” is just a bit different.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

10 Words Missing From Oxford’s Word of the Year List

10 Words Missing From Oxford’s Word of the Year List

The New Oxford American Dictionary says “unfriend” is the word of the year. We say “douchebaggery,” “iBoner,” and “twhoring” should have been considered.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Julia Hurley

Hump Day Hottie: Julia Hurley

This state senator from Tennessee is a former Hooters gal. She also knows a few neat rope tricks.

Hump Day Hottie: Kim Kardashian

Hump Day Hottie: Kim Kardashian

Everyone’s favorite reality TV queen has something to show you (at least, the six of you who haven’t seen it already).

Hump Day Hottie: Amanda Righetti

Hump Day Hottie: Amanda Righetti

What’s on today’s menu? How about a nice big helping of Righetti?

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

Even the most advanced technologies can’t make certain things look bigger.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

That hot girl’s bra holds more than just two handfuls of fun. Dr. Smartass explains what breast size and shape can tell you about a woman.

Six Truly Terrifying Geek Halloween Costumes

Six Truly Terrifying Geek Halloween Costumes

Stuck for a Halloween costume? There’s still time to go as one of these scary geeks. Just don’t blame us if instead of giving you candy they sic the dogs on you.

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Facebook’s been taking it in the ‘nads after revealing new data sharing plans some folks think are too revealing. eSarcasm digs into the truth behind the controversy.

10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

Turns out social networks and socialites have plenty of things in common — you know, like how often they go down and how important it is to fill their holes.

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

From spying squirrels to bomb-sniffing bees, animals have served some unusual roles in military operations. Here are the five of the strangest attempted army-animal combinations.

Apple Bans Itself From App Store

Apple Bans Itself From App Store

In a never-before-seen move, Apple has just banned itself from its own App Store. “We have determined this company is no longer appropriate,” a notification says.

Chart: The Truth About Twitter’s Traffic

Chart: The Truth About Twitter’s Traffic

Despite reports that Twitter’s traffic is flatlining, a new study says 27 million tweets are being sent every day. So what gives? Here’s a breakdown.