Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Extra, extra, read all about it. Apple and News Corp have finally unveiled the first ‘newspaper’ for the iPad. Here are ten things they won’t tell you about it.

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

eSarcasm LLC would like to formally announce lawsuits against Michael Arrington, Apple, AT&T, and a bunch of other places that are really starting to piss us off.

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

In a Washington Post op-ed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg promises to right Facebook’s privacy wrongs. We obtained an early draft of that essay that tells a slightly different story.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

Interview With The Spermatozoa

Interview With The Spermatozoa

The first artificial male reproductive cell has been created by UK researchers. We had a chance to sit down and chat with the sperm they call Ivy Dee.

Quickies

iToons: Can Twitter Fix BP’s Oil Disaster?

iToons: Can Twitter Fix BP’s Oil Disaster?

BP oil spill, prepare to meet thy match! Social media is changing the world, and you’re about to feel what the power of Twitter can accomplish.

Hump Day Hottie: Ines Sainz

Hump Day Hottie: Ines Sainz

How we long to be in that number when this Sainz comes marching in

iToons: The Foolproof Way to Escape Facebook

iToons: The Foolproof Way to Escape Facebook

Deleting your Facebook profile isn’t easy — but there’s one surefire way to escape the social network’s grasp.

Hump Day Hottie: Stephanie Seymour

Hump Day Hottie: Stephanie Seymour

Meet our new favorite MILF. We’d love to see more of Ms. Seymour.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

If you’re guilty of any of these Facebook faux pas, you’re in danger in being unfriended by everyone you know. Consider yourself warned.

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Our take on the Google-China saga, set to the tune of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

eSarcasm Exclusive: Interview With Ardi, the First Human

Humanity’s oldest ancestor, 4.4-million-year-old Ardi, talks about what it’s like to be the world’s first hip hop diva, and reveals the real reasons why men walk upright.

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

According to a new study by Nielsen, preppies flock to Facebook while greasers mingle on MySpace. But where should the rest of us go? Here’s a handy guide.

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

This ain’t your grandparents’ Binaca: Scientists have developed a simple spray that can turn your below-the-belt buddy into the Energizer Bunny. At least, relatively speaking.

Abercrombie Introduces New ‘Slut Gene’ Slut Jeans

Abercrombie Introduces New ‘Slut Gene’ Slut Jeans

Inspired by the discovery of a so-called “slut gene,” Abercrombie & Fitch has created a new kind of apparel for women who are proud to be promiscuous.

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

This Just In: Men Fake It, Too

Think ladies are the only ones putting on the fake “O”-face? Think again. Dr. Smartass explains.