Fresh Off The Griddle

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Bill Gates is working on the next generation of condoms (yes, seriously) — and only eSarcasm has the skinny on how the high-tech rubbers will revolutionize sex as we know it.

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

A survey reports that nearly half of all Facebook and Twitter users update their status from bed. But that’s hardly the only proof we’re social media addicts. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Characters Outraged Over Video Game Minority Report

Characters Outraged Over Video Game Minority Report

Industry insiders are fuming over a new report that finds video games don’t have enough minority characters. “Why should only white men be virtually maimed?” the Characters Union asks.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Hard Drive: 14 Killer Features of the Bill Gates Condom

Bill Gates is working on the next generation of condoms (yes, seriously) — and only eSarcasm has the skinny on how the high-tech rubbers will revolutionize sex as we know it.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Angelina Tracy

Hump Day Hottie: Angelina Tracy

It might take two and a half men to handle Charlie Sheen’s bodacious new mistress.

iToons: Julian Assange Does CES

iToons: Julian Assange Does CES

Forget all those fancy gadgets and gizmos: The real highlight of CES came when Julian Assange stormed the stage. (What — you didn’t see that?)

Hump Day Hottie: Leeann Tweeden

Hump Day Hottie: Leeann Tweeden

Meet the hostess of Casino Poker After Dark. We’d like to poke her after dark.

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

iToons: Stop Trying to Multi-Touch Yourself

Even the most advanced technologies can’t make certain things look bigger.

More Recent Stories

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.

Apple Sues Google For Stealing Stuff It Just Invented

Apple Sues Google For Stealing Stuff It Just Invented

Google stole tons of new features from iOS 7, Apple says, and put them into Android products three years ago. An eSarcasm exclusive.


eSarcasm Favorites

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Seems like every tech company is coming out with non-tech products. From Facebook-inspired body spray to Apple’s magical iGlove, here are six hot products you’ll soon be seeing.

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Picking Microsoft’s new tagline (“Be What’s Next”) wasn’t easy. Here are some alternative slogans that didn’t quite make the cut.

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

In honor of Facebook’s 500-million member milestone, we offer these fun factoids about the social network everyone either loves or loathes.

Pinocchio Sex Tapes Circulating Across Net

Pinocchio Sex Tapes Circulating Across Net

A porn video featuring the star of “Shrek Forever After” with an underage Marionette is spreading across the Web. Really. Would we lie to you?

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

More than a decade after issuing its famous “Don’t be evil” directive, Google decides to go all in with Satan. Their new corporate motto? We Own Your Ass.

Abercrombie Introduces New ‘Slut Gene’ Slut Jeans

Abercrombie Introduces New ‘Slut Gene’ Slut Jeans

Inspired by the discovery of a so-called “slut gene,” Abercrombie & Fitch has created a new kind of apparel for women who are proud to be promiscuous.

Looking for Porn in All the Wrong Places and Other Google Search Stories

Looking for Porn in All the Wrong Places and Other Google Search Stories

Google wants you to share your ‘search story’ with the world on YouTube. After seeing some of our search stories, they might just change their minds.