Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Our take on the Google-China saga, set to the tune of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

We tried, honest we did. But we just don’t give a damn about white iPhones, 4G networks, Windows Phone 7, or how much hair Christine O’Donnell has on her nether bits. Sorry.

10 Fatal Flaws With the Internet Kissing Machine

10 Fatal Flaws With the Internet Kissing Machine

It sounds like a lonely geek’s dream, but the newly unveiled Internet make-out machine isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. An eSarcasm exclusive investigation.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Mythical Lesbians Are Breaking the Internets

Mythical Lesbians Are Breaking the Internets

Imaginary sex-crazed lesbians are bringing the Web to a standstill in Sweden. If that sentence doesn’t intrigue you, we’re not sure what will.

Quickies

iToons: The Trouble With TwitPic

iToons: The Trouble With TwitPic

Social sharing services are great — until someone figures out a way to use them against you.

Video: Mark Zuckerberg’s Version of the Facebook Movie

Video: Mark Zuckerberg’s Version of the Facebook Movie

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is coming out with his own edition of The Social Network, and eSarcasm has the trailer to prove it. Would we lie to you?

Hump Day Hottie: Jordan Lloyd

Hump Day Hottie: Jordan Lloyd

Jordan Lloyd may be famous for reality — but to us, she’s pure fantasy.

iToons: The Twitter-Enabled Funeral of the Future

iToons: The Twitter-Enabled Funeral of the Future

Displaying real-time tweets is all the rage at conferences these days. Taking the practice to a funeral, however, could prove mortally embarrassing.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

The Dark Side of Texting

The Dark Side of Texting

Before you open that next text from your special someone, you may want to read what Dr. Smartass discovered.

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Extra, extra, read all about it. Apple and News Corp have finally unveiled the first ‘newspaper’ for the iPad. Here are ten things they won’t tell you about it.

This Brassiere Could Save Your Life

This Brassiere Could Save Your Life

The Emergency Bra doesn’t merely lift, shape, and support, it may also save your life in case of a gas attack. Even if not, it’s certainly worth a try.

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Screw the square-jawed, six-packed stunners — good old-fashioned geeks are what women really want. Just ask Dr. Smartass.

Logo-a-Gogo: 10 New Tech Company Logos Revealed

Logo-a-Gogo: 10 New Tech Company Logos Revealed

MySpace isn’t the only big site with a new logo. AOL, Microsoft, Google, and Apple are all furiously rebranding themselves for a new and largely blank generation. An eSarcasm exclusive.

What the Frak: When Acronyms Attack

What the Frak: When Acronyms Attack

BLOWW? DILDO? ASSBAG? WTF? This is what happens when morons coin your acronyms. Here are 15 terse-yet-ridiculous names that really need to change.

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Seems like every tech company is coming out with non-tech products. From Facebook-inspired body spray to Apple’s magical iGlove, here are six hot products you’ll soon be seeing.