Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

A survey reports that nearly half of all Facebook and Twitter users update their status from bed. But that’s hardly the only proof we’re social media addicts. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Interview With The Spermatozoa

Interview With The Spermatozoa

The first artificial male reproductive cell has been created by UK researchers. We had a chance to sit down and chat with the sperm they call Ivy Dee.

Which of These Pictures Is Not Like the Others?

Which of These Pictures Is Not Like the Others?

Google and Hitachi have launched “similar image” searches that promise to redefine… we’re not sure what. But we messed around with them to see what happened. Prepare to be amazed.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

Technology is changing the way we love, lust, and even thrust. Dr. Smartass checks out two saucy new studies to see how our attitudes (and assitudes) are shifting.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Jasmine Lennard

Hump Day Hottie: Jasmine Lennard

The forecast for this would-be supermodel: cloudy with a chance of nipples.

Hump Day Hottie: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Hump Day Hottie: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

These days everything seems to be coming up Rosie. Meet the babe who’s replacing Megan Fox in Transformers — and, possibly, in your fantasies.

iToons: How Social Media Can Screw You Over

iToons: How Social Media Can Screw You Over

Sharing every detail of your life with strangers can cost you. Sometimes literally.

Hump Day Hottie: Yvonne Strahovski

Hump Day Hottie: Yvonne Strahovski

Gentlemen, cock your pistols: This is one spy you’ll definitely want to mess with.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Yes, Virginia, Geeks Are Better in Bed

Yes, Virginia, Geeks <i>Are</i> Better in Bed

Defying all expectations, technology professionals were voted the best lovers in a UK poll. Why? Because their tools are rechargeable.

The 12 Douchiest Things PR People Do

The 12 Douchiest Things PR People Do

Dear public relations professionals: These 12 popular PR moves are incredibly douchey and annoying. Please stop doing them. Love, writers everywhere.

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

High-Tech Bras: The Breast and the Brightest

Tits and tech — what more could a guy want? From an iPod-charging bra to one with its own USB keyboard, these eight pieces of intimate apparel are sure to get any geek’s heart racing.

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

Some say the Web’s proliferation of porn is eating away at America’s morals. Dr. Smartass, however, says it’s making us better citizens — and he has the hard data to prove it.

The Name Game: What Your Name Says About You

The Name Game: What Your Name Says About You

What’s in a name? A lot, according to some recent research. Dr. Smartass has your guide to interpreting what your name tells the world.

eSarcasm Unveils Groundbreaking New Ethics Policy

eSarcasm Unveils Groundbreaking New Ethics Policy

It’s pretty simple, really. Want us to write about you? It’s going to cost you. Want us to please not write about you? It’ll cost you more. Welcome to eThics 2.0.

10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

10 Ways Twitter Is Like Paris Hilton

Turns out social networks and socialites have plenty of things in common — you know, like how often they go down and how important it is to fill their holes.