Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

If you’re guilty of any of these Facebook faux pas, you’re in danger in being unfriended by everyone you know. Consider yourself warned.

Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More

Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More

The search giant is once again in talks to engulf and devour eSarcasm in a deal valued at nearly three figures, sources report. An eSarcasm exclusive.

A World Without Microsoft

A World Without Microsoft

From better access to boobies to more annoying infomercials, the world would be a drastically different place had Microsoft never come around.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Baby, You AutoComplete Me

Baby, You AutoComplete Me

Steve Jobs is a bicycle. Sarah Palin killed Michael Jackson. People type weird shit into Google — and you need look no further than its Auto-Complete feature to get a glimpse.

Quickies

iToons: Groupon’s Controversy Gets Worse

iToons: Groupon’s Controversy Gets Worse

Think those Groupon Super Bowl commercials were bad? Just wait till you see what the company’s up to now.

Hump Day Hottie: Jessica White

Hump Day Hottie: Jessica White

Some women are just a work of art, with or without paint.

iToons: The Pain of Being an Apple Fanboy

iToons: The Pain of Being an Apple Fanboy

If it’s made by Apple, it must be good — right?

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Interview with the World’s First Asexual Ant

Interview with the World’s First Asexual Ant

Scientists have discovered the first known species of completely asexual ants. So why’d the lady crawlers decide to dispense with dudes? We sit down with the queen to find out.

20 Tweets Bill Gates Hasn’t Sent Yet (But Probably Will)

20 Tweets Bill Gates Hasn’t Sent Yet (But Probably Will)

The world’s geekiest billionaire has finally signed onto Twitter. What’s he going to tell the world? We have a few ideas.

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

Every guy likes to think his manhood makes a lasting impression. Now, one man’s willy actually will live on in fame — and he has the fungus among us to thank.

The State of the American Schlong

The State of the American Schlong

How do men measure up across America? Dr. Smartass details a rare study that breaks down the average size of the prize from state to state.

Five More Ways to Avoid Getting Sued on Twitter

Five More Ways to Avoid Getting Sued on Twitter

The wrong tweets can land you up to your ass in attorneys. Our advice? Avoid Webcam girls, crystal meth, and Julia Allison.

The Dumbest Questions on Yahoo Answers

The Dumbest Questions on Yahoo Answers

From credit cards stuck in computers to stunning displays of sexual confusion, people have some strange problems — and nowhere makes that more evident than the pages of Yahoo Answers.

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

Rack Science: Sizing Her Up By Her Breasts

That hot girl’s bra holds more than just two handfuls of fun. Dr. Smartass explains what breast size and shape can tell you about a woman.