Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

Which Social Network Is Right For You?

According to a new study by Nielsen, preppies flock to Facebook while greasers mingle on MySpace. But where should the rest of us go? Here’s a handy guide.

That Chick From Hanson to Test New Gender-Sensing Technology

That Chick From Hanson to Test New Gender-Sensing Technology

Following a brief hiatus from public life, that chick from Hanson has announced she will take part in a groundbreaking demonstration of new gender-sensing technology.

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Sony’s started spraying retail stores with the scents of vanilla, mandarin, and bourbon — and it’s not the only tech giant playing with the power of aroma.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

Sony’s original Walkman turns 30 years old this week. He sat down with eSarcasm for an exclusive interview about his life and ongoing struggles with depression.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Jordan Lloyd

Hump Day Hottie: Jordan Lloyd

Jordan Lloyd may be famous for reality — but to us, she’s pure fantasy.

Hump Day Hottie: Cristina Warthen

Hump Day Hottie: Cristina Warthen

Can someone please lend this poor girl $25,000? She’s prosti–err, destitute.

iToons: Can Twitter Fix BP’s Oil Disaster?

iToons: Can Twitter Fix BP’s Oil Disaster?

BP oil spill, prepare to meet thy match! Social media is changing the world, and you’re about to feel what the power of Twitter can accomplish.

Hump Day Hottie: Kim Kardashian

Hump Day Hottie: Kim Kardashian

Everyone’s favorite reality TV queen has something to show you (at least, the six of you who haven’t seen it already).

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

The 10 Dumbest Questions People Ask on Quora

The 10 Dumbest Questions People Ask on Quora

Of course, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. And many of them are on Quora, the newest social media darling. What the frak is Quora? Don’t ask us.

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

EXCLUSIVE: Photos of the All-New, All-White Apple iPad 2

Yes, it’s true. In two days our long wait will be over and the White iPad 2 will be upon us. We’ve got exclusive photos of Apple’s next miracle gadget. Prepare to be blown away.

The 12 Greatest Geek Tattoos

The 12 Greatest Geek Tattoos

Kat Von D’s got nothing on these ink-loving geeks. From a midriff-placed Konami code to a Zelda-inspired tramp stamp, here are our picks for the 12 greatest geek tattoos around.

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

eSarcasm LLC would like to formally announce lawsuits against Michael Arrington, Apple, AT&T, and a bunch of other places that are really starting to piss us off.

Apple Sues God, Says Fruit Too Similar to Logo

Apple Sues God, Says Fruit Too Similar to Logo

Apple isn’t stopping with Woolworths, it seems: The company is now suing God over the similarity between the apple fruit and its own apple-based logo.

Ass-cuse Me, Butt Will You Sit In This Chair?

Ass-cuse Me, Butt Will You Sit In This Chair?

Someone has invented a chair that automatically copies the ass of anyone sitting on it. This is an idea we simply cannot get behind.

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist Says It Will Show No Mo Ho’s

Craigslist has caved and censored its Adult Services ads, thus putting an end to prostitution for all time. Or something like that.