Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Sorry, Dude, You’ve Been Replaced by a Bot

Today you’re on top of the blogosphere. Tomorrow you’ll wake up to find you’ve been replaced by a software routine. eSarcasm interviews the bot behind it all, Dr. Al Gorithm.

Take the Chat-Status Personality Test

Take the Chat-Status Personality Test

Your online chat status tells the world far more than you realize. Dr. Smartass explains what your instant messaging settings say about your personality.

Yes, Virginia, Geeks Are Better in Bed

Yes, Virginia, Geeks <i>Are</i> Better in Bed

Defying all expectations, technology professionals were voted the best lovers in a UK poll. Why? Because their tools are rechargeable.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

The 12 Douchiest Things PR People Do

The 12 Douchiest Things PR People Do

Dear public relations professionals: These 12 popular PR moves are incredibly douchey and annoying. Please stop doing them. Love, writers everywhere.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Megan Fox

Hump Day Hottie: Megan Fox

Is it hot in here or is it just Megan Fox? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

iToons: The Twitter-Enabled Funeral of the Future

iToons: The Twitter-Enabled Funeral of the Future

Displaying real-time tweets is all the rage at conferences these days. Taking the practice to a funeral, however, could prove mortally embarrassing.

Hump Day Hottie: Leeann Tweeden

Hump Day Hottie: Leeann Tweeden

Meet the hostess of Casino Poker After Dark. We’d like to poke her after dark.

iToons: Facebook’s ‘Like’ Button Is Taking Over the World

iToons: Facebook’s ‘Like’ Button Is Taking Over the World

We get what Facebook’s trying to do with the universal “Like” button, but this latest placement may be taking things just a little too far.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

AT&T Vying For ‘Worst Company Ever’ Award

AT&T Vying For ‘Worst Company Ever’ Award

An AT&T executive says the company has been quietly competing for a prestigious “Worst Company Ever” distinction. Ah, yes…suddenly, it all makes sense.

10 More Cartoon Endorsements We’d Like to See

10 More Cartoon Endorsements We’d Like to See

Microsoft has enlisted the Family Guy crew to help flog Windows 7. But why stop there? Here are 10 more animated spokestoons tech companies should seriously consider.

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About “The Daily”

Extra, extra, read all about it. Apple and News Corp have finally unveiled the first ‘newspaper’ for the iPad. Here are ten things they won’t tell you about it.

20 Tweets Bill Gates Hasn’t Sent Yet (But Probably Will)

20 Tweets Bill Gates Hasn’t Sent Yet (But Probably Will)

The world’s geekiest billionaire has finally signed onto Twitter. What’s he going to tell the world? We have a few ideas.

Wear a Condom, Save a Polar Bear

Wear a Condom, Save a Polar Bear

An environmental science group wants us all to have sex to help save endangered animals. This is one mission we can definitely get behind.

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

Some say the Web’s proliferation of porn is eating away at America’s morals. Dr. Smartass, however, says it’s making us better citizens — and he has the hard data to prove it.

Penises vs. Breasts: There’s a Map for That

Penises vs. Breasts: There’s a Map for That

Which country has the spongiest funbags and meatiest mantoys? It’s no longer a mystery, thanks to the miracle of modern mapping.