Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Tweet It!

Tweet It!

The theme song for the Twitter-obsessed, as sung to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

See how your Internet porn habits compare to other people’s with a provocative new study. Dr. Smartass has the details.

Walk This Way: Her Strut and Her Sexuality

Walk This Way: Her Strut and Her Sexuality

The way she walks can tell you a lot about the way she does certain other things. Dr. Smartass explains in this week’s reader Q&A.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Looking for sizzling sex? A higher power could help. Dr. Smartass reveals one of science’s best-kept secrets.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Ines Sainz

Hump Day Hottie: Ines Sainz

How we long to be in that number when this Sainz comes marching in

Hump Day Hottie: Mila Kunis

Hump Day Hottie: Mila Kunis

Six words: Lesbian sex scene with Natalie Portman. If that’s not enough to convince you Mila K. is something special, nothing ever will.

Hump Day Hottie: Chelsea Handler

Hump Day Hottie: Chelsea Handler

We’d love to get a handle on this star of “Chelsea Lately” (and at least one alleged sex tape).

Hump Day Hottie: Tami Roberts

Hump Day Hottie: Tami Roberts

This smokin’ Mormon MILF wants you to enjoy her muffins. We sure do.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Holy Sex! How Seeking God Can Get You Laid

Looking for sizzling sex? A higher power could help. Dr. Smartass reveals one of science’s best-kept secrets.

We Deeply Regret Posting Those Naked Photos of You on Facebook

We Deeply Regret Posting Those Naked Photos of You on Facebook

One out of three people regret something they’ve posted on social networks, says a new survey. It gets much, much worse than that. An eSarcasm exclusive report.

Are You a Certified Facebook Douche?

Are You a Certified Facebook Douche?

We’re launching a campaign to seek out and identify the world’s worst Certified Facebook Douches. Can you help?

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6 browser has been found brutally murdered, police confirm. The browser had been the target of malicious attacks for years.

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

Tech products have some really stupid disclaimers. Here are 30 of the worst we’ve seen.

The iDress: An eSarcasm Endorsement

The iDress: An eSarcasm Endorsement

An Australian clothing company has come out with a new dress made specifically for holding iPads. We felt compelled to share some thoughts on this delightful innovation.