Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

A new Web site called Christian Chirp claims to be the Twitter for the God-fearing masses. Here are 20 ways “tweeting for Jesus” is just a bit different.

To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

Having trouble separating the tweeps from the creeps? Let our scrupulously researched, deeply thoughtful decision guide do the thinking for you.

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

This ain’t your grandparents’ Binaca: Scientists have developed a simple spray that can turn your below-the-belt buddy into the Energizer Bunny. At least, relatively speaking.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Picking Microsoft’s new tagline (“Be What’s Next”) wasn’t easy. Here are some alternative slogans that didn’t quite make the cut.

Quickies

iToons: This Is Robert Scoble In High School

iToons: This Is Robert Scoble In High School

Ever wonder what the Scobleizer was like during his teenage years? Check out this cartoon to find out.

Hump Day Hottie: Olivia Munn

Hump Day Hottie: Olivia Munn

Munn for all and all for Munn. Olivia we O-lovya.

Hump Day Hottie: Brooklyn Decker

Hump Day Hottie: Brooklyn Decker

Brooklyn wins! Meet the lovely Mrs. Andy Roddick. We’d cross the net to shake her hand any time.

iToons: Why Santa Doesn’t Use Cloud Computing

iToons: Why Santa Doesn’t Use Cloud Computing

Mr. Claus won’t be moving his operations to the cloud anytime soon — and he has good reason.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

5 of the World’s Strangest Cell Phones

5 of the World’s Strangest Cell Phones

A flute phone? A cigarette phone? Yeah — there are some weird mobile devices out there. These are five of the oddest we’ve seen.

Baby, You AutoComplete Me

Baby, You AutoComplete Me

Steve Jobs is a bicycle. Sarah Palin killed Michael Jackson. People type weird shit into Google — and you need look no further than its Auto-Complete feature to get a glimpse.

40 Numbers You Should Never Forget

40 Numbers You Should Never Forget

Forget every analysis you’ve ever read — these 40 numbers are the most important figures compiled in the history of mankind. Read them. Study them. Make sweet love to them. Repeat.

The Best & the Brightest: The eSarcasm 50

The Best & the Brightest: The eSarcasm 50

Screw Michael Arrington and his TechCrunch 50. The hottest tech startups shared their throbbing demo love at eSarc50. Meet the winners: HipHype, TwitWit, and the SuckMaster 5000.

Frak The Shack: 25 Better Ways to Rebrand RadioShack

Frak The Shack: 25 Better Ways to Rebrand RadioShack

RadioShack is attempting to reinvent itself by taking on a new name: “The Shack.” Come on, RS — you can do better than that. Here are 25 more appropriate alternatives.

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6 browser has been found brutally murdered, police confirm. The browser had been the target of malicious attacks for years.

Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Double Your Entendre: 12 Unintentionally Dirty Headlines

Do you have a dirty mind? If you interpret these seemingly innocent news headlines the same way we did, the answer is probably yes.