Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

A new Web site called Christian Chirp claims to be the Twitter for the God-fearing masses. Here are 20 ways “tweeting for Jesus” is just a bit different.

Scientists Solve Mystery of How Cats Drink Without Getting Wet

Scientists Solve Mystery of How Cats Drink Without Getting Wet

Scientists have finally uncovered the answer to one of nature’s most elusive mysteries. And it’s a lot simpler than you think.

EXCLUSIVE: iPhone 5 to Include ‘Invisible Fence’ Protection

EXCLUSIVE: iPhone 5 to Include ‘Invisible Fence’ Protection

Following the implementation of tamper-resistant screws on its products, Apple will begin installing electric fences on iPhones to prevent users from opening the cases.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Top 12 Rejected Microsoft Slogans

Picking Microsoft’s new tagline (“Be What’s Next”) wasn’t easy. Here are some alternative slogans that didn’t quite make the cut.

Quickies

iToons: What Facebook Really Celebrated This Week

iToons: What Facebook Really Celebrated This Week

If you thought Zuckerberg’s hoodie insignia was weird, just wait till you see the new set of signs Facebook ordered to mark its 500-million-member milestone this week.

Hump Day Hottie: Casey Labow

Hump Day Hottie: Casey Labow

When this Casey’s up at bat, striking out is simply not possible.

Hump Day Hottie: Christina Aguilera

Hump Day Hottie: Christina Aguilera

Even if she’s not very good, the star of ‘Burlesque’ has still got the goods.

Hump Day Hottie: Kim Kardashian

Hump Day Hottie: Kim Kardashian

Everyone’s favorite reality TV queen has something to show you (at least, the six of you who haven’t seen it already).

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

Top 12 Reasons Why Aol. Bought The Huffington Post

No, it’s really true. Aol. just bought the world’s leading site for online news run by an autocratic tyrant with a funny accent. Here’s why. An eSarcasm exclusive.

When Boinking Goes Bonkers: The 10 Strangest Sexual Fetishes

When Boinking Goes Bonkers: The 10 Strangest Sexual Fetishes

You want me to do what?! From fondling trees to fellating robots, Dr. Smartass delves into 10 of the strangest sexual fetishes around.

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

eSarcasm Launches ‘Indifferent’ Button for the Whole Darn Internet

A universal “Like” button, Facebook? Nice try, but our Web-wide “Indifferent” button is way more useful.

Apple Bans Itself From App Store

Apple Bans Itself From App Store

In a never-before-seen move, Apple has just banned itself from its own App Store. “We have determined this company is no longer appropriate,” a notification says.

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

15 Things You Didn’t Know About Facebook

In honor of Facebook’s 500-million member milestone, we offer these fun factoids about the social network everyone either loves or loathes.

Pinocchio Sex Tapes Circulating Across Net

Pinocchio Sex Tapes Circulating Across Net

A porn video featuring the star of “Shrek Forever After” with an underage Marionette is spreading across the Web. Really. Would we lie to you?

Ass-cuse Me, Butt Will You Sit In This Chair?

Ass-cuse Me, Butt Will You Sit In This Chair?

Someone has invented a chair that automatically copies the ass of anyone sitting on it. This is an idea we simply cannot get behind.