Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Formal Offer: We Would Like to Buy Palm

Formal Offer: We Would Like to Buy Palm

Well, kiddos, this is it: eSarcasm’s hitting the big time. Yep, we’re about to buy Palm and become a massive corporation. Assuming they accept our offer, that is.

Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More

Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More

The search giant is once again in talks to engulf and devour eSarcasm in a deal valued at nearly three figures, sources report. An eSarcasm exclusive.

A World Without Microsoft

A World Without Microsoft

From better access to boobies to more annoying infomercials, the world would be a drastically different place had Microsoft never come around.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Pope Announces New Catholics-Only Social Network

Pope Announces New Catholics-Only Social Network

Christened ‘Gracebook,’ the holy social network plans to bring Facebook to its knees. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Erin Barry

Hump Day Hottie: Erin Barry

The wife of former NBA baller Brent Barry has got some serious game of her own — enough to lure Tony Parker from desperate housewife Eva Longoria.

Hump Day Hottie: Elisabetta Canalis

Hump Day Hottie: Elisabetta Canalis

Would you dump this woman? (As if.) But then, you’re no George Clooney.

Hump Day Hottie: Audrina Partridge

Hump Day Hottie: Audrina Partridge

One look at awesome Audrina makes us want to head for The Hills

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

5 Reasons Why We Hate ’5 Reasons Why’ Stories

5 Reasons Why We Hate ’5 Reasons Why’ Stories

Why must so many blog posts revolve around “5 reasons”-this or “5 reasons”-that? How about some originality, people?

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Facebook’s been taking it in the ‘nads after revealing new data sharing plans some folks think are too revealing. eSarcasm digs into the truth behind the controversy.

When Naked Cell Phone Pics Come Back to Haunt You

When Naked Cell Phone Pics Come Back to Haunt You

So you “forgot” to delete those risqué cell phone pics of your ex, and now your new girlfriend’s found them. What do you do?

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

5 Reasons Internet Porn Is Good For America

Some say the Web’s proliferation of porn is eating away at America’s morals. Dr. Smartass, however, says it’s making us better citizens — and he has the hard data to prove it.

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’

More than a decade after issuing its famous “Don’t be evil” directive, Google decides to go all in with Satan. Their new corporate motto? We Own Your Ass.

Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

eSarcasm is pleased to announce the renewed endorsement of Jesus Christ for the year 2010 A.D. “We feel like our business has been resurrected,” the site’s founders say.

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Seems like every tech company is coming out with non-tech products. From Facebook-inspired body spray to Apple’s magical iGlove, here are six hot products you’ll soon be seeing.