Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

Porn Norms: New Research Reveals the Truth

See how your Internet porn habits compare to other people’s with a provocative new study. Dr. Smartass has the details.

What Your Typing Style Says About Your Brain

What Your Typing Style Says About Your Brain

The way you type could reveal a lot about that scrambled omelette you call a brain. Dr. Smartass explains why one common style could be cause for concern.

The 12 Craziest Google Interview Questions

The 12 Craziest Google Interview Questions

Want to work at Google? Then you’d better be ready to answer some very strange questions — like how many golf balls you can cram into a school bus, or why manhole covers are round.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Walk This Way: Her Strut and Her Sexuality

Walk This Way: Her Strut and Her Sexuality

The way she walks can tell you a lot about the way she does certain other things. Dr. Smartass explains in this week’s reader Q&A.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Heidi Montag

Hump Day Hottie: Heidi Montag

This reality TV star and Playboy model makes plastic look fantastic.

Hump Day Hottie: Erin McNaught

Hump Day Hottie: Erin McNaught

This Canberra beauty is Australian for ‘unbelievably hot’

Hump Day Hottie: Mrs. Clause

Hump Day Hottie: Mrs. Clause

These sexy Santa helpers put the ‘ho’ in Ho Ho Ho.

Hump Day Hottie: Anine Bing

Hump Day Hottie: Anine Bing

We’ve got a real thing for Anine Bing. Give it a minute — you will, too.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Internet Turns 40, Begins Midlife Crisis

Internet Turns 40, Begins Midlife Crisis

Fast cars? Frosted tips? Foxy babes? Yep — looks like the Internet is having a midlife crisis as it creeps up to the big 4-0 this week.

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Screw the square-jawed, six-packed stunners — good old-fashioned geeks are what women really want. Just ask Dr. Smartass.

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

5 Strange Ways Animals Have Served in Armies

From spying squirrels to bomb-sniffing bees, animals have served some unusual roles in military operations. Here are the five of the strangest attempted army-animal combinations.

eSarcasm’s Tech Lingo Translation Guide

eSarcasm’s Tech Lingo Translation Guide

Think you know tech lingo? You’re probably wrong. From “social media expert” to “pwning a n00b,” our superaccurate translation machine reveals the real meaning of all your favorite tech phrases.

Hello, I’m the Mayor of Gonorrhea

Hello, I’m the Mayor of Gonorrhea

You can now earn Foursquare badges for getting STD tests, so why stop there? eSarcasm is proud to offer a new line of Foursquare sex badges, including the SlutScout and the Back Door Master.

Google Condoms: Coming Soon?

Google Condoms: Coming Soon?

This just in: Google has actually toyed with the idea of making a Google-branded condom (yes, seriously). Here are 20 slogans that could appear on the gRubber wrappers.

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

Even the world’s greatest geek humor site can only take so much evil. Like Google, we’re giving China the finger — and a lot more. An eSarcasm exclusive.