Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

A survey reports that nearly half of all Facebook and Twitter users update their status from bed. But that’s hardly the only proof we’re social media addicts. An eSarcasm exclusive.

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

22 Things We Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

We tried, honest we did. But we just don’t give a damn about white iPhones, 4G networks, Windows Phone 7, or how much hair Christine O’Donnell has on her nether bits. Sorry.

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Chart: Inside Facebook’s Privacy Meltdown

Facebook’s been taking it in the ‘nads after revealing new data sharing plans some folks think are too revealing. eSarcasm digs into the truth behind the controversy.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

eSarcasm Pulls Out of China

Even the world’s greatest geek humor site can only take so much evil. Like Google, we’re giving China the finger — and a lot more. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quickies

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

iToons: Where’d Mark Zuckerberg Go?

Facebook CEO missing since Thursday. Police now believe excessive sweat may be to blame.

iToons: This Is Your Dad. This Is Your Dad on Twitter.

iToons: This Is Your Dad. This Is Your Dad on Twitter.

When social media meets parenting, scary things can happen.

iToons: The Tale of the Wireless Mouse

iToons: The Tale of the Wireless Mouse

A wireless mouse can cause all sorts of problems. Just ask these guys.

iToons: About That Free In-Flight Wi-Fi…

iToons: About That Free In-Flight Wi-Fi…

Google’s providing complimentary Wi-Fi on flights this holiday season — but don’t put your wallet away just yet.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Your Avatar Is Fat, Ugly, and Stupid — Just Like You

Your Avatar Is Fat, Ugly, and Stupid — Just Like You

Microsoft’s working on a new system that’d build realistic-looking avatars based on how fit or fat you are. Here are nine big ways we hope the technology will be embraced.

Tweet It!

Tweet It!

The theme song for the Twitter-obsessed, as sung to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Sex Secret: Women Love Hairy Geeks

Screw the square-jawed, six-packed stunners — good old-fashioned geeks are what women really want. Just ask Dr. Smartass.

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Inside Larry Page’s First Day as Google CEO

Inside Larry Page’s First Day as Google CEO

Yes, Google’s got a new el jefe. Eric Schmidt has just handed the keys to the chief executive limo to Larry Page. Here’s what Larry’s first day was like. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

Zuckerberg Responds to Facebook Privacy Concerns (The First Draft)

In a Washington Post op-ed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg promises to right Facebook’s privacy wrongs. We obtained an early draft of that essay that tells a slightly different story.

Flavor Flav Named ‘Least Dangerous Celebrity in Cyberspace’

Flavor Flav Named ‘Least Dangerous Celebrity in Cyberspace’

Searching for Flavor Flav on the Web poses virtually no danger of contracting malware, security analysts say. “Quite frankly, no one gives a rat’s ass about that guy,” one engineer explains.