Fresh Off The Griddle

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

This Just In: Beautiful Women Are Hazardous to Your Health

This Just In: Beautiful Women Are Hazardous to Your Health

A new study concludes that being forced to hang around gorgeous women does bad things to men. Where can we sign up for one of those studies?

25 Ways to Tell If You’re a Hopeless Geek

25 Ways to Tell If You’re a Hopeless Geek

Have you gone full dweebtard? Hey, it can happen to the best of us. Take our 25-question true or false quiz to find out.

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

This ain’t your grandparents’ Binaca: Scientists have developed a simple spray that can turn your below-the-belt buddy into the Energizer Bunny. At least, relatively speaking.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

Tweets Between the Sheets: We’re All Social Media Junkies

A survey reports that nearly half of all Facebook and Twitter users update their status from bed. But that’s hardly the only proof we’re social media addicts. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Megan Fox

Hump Day Hottie: Megan Fox

Is it hot in here or is it just Megan Fox? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

Hump Day Hottie: Alina Kabaeva

Hump Day Hottie: Alina Kabaeva

Flirting with this close personal friend of Prime Minister Putin is like playing Russian Roulette. Meet the gal who makes Vlad glad.

Hump Day Hottie: Erin McNaught

Hump Day Hottie: Erin McNaught

This Canberra beauty is Australian for ‘unbelievably hot’

Hump Day Hottie: Mrs. Clause

Hump Day Hottie: Mrs. Clause

These sexy Santa helpers put the ‘ho’ in Ho Ho Ho.

More Recent Stories

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.

Apple Sues Google For Stealing Stuff It Just Invented

Apple Sues Google For Stealing Stuff It Just Invented

Google stole tons of new features from iOS 7, Apple says, and put them into Android products three years ago. An eSarcasm exclusive.


eSarcasm Favorites

Walk This Way: Her Strut and Her Sexuality

Walk This Way: Her Strut and Her Sexuality

The way she walks can tell you a lot about the way she does certain other things. Dr. Smartass explains in this week’s reader Q&A.

Some Big News About Breasts

Some Big News About Breasts

Something big is happening in the world of breast research. Really big. Super-duper big. Are you ready for this?

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Sexting, Texting, and Other Back-to-School Tips

Forget those old lists of outdated back-to-school advice — these are the tips today’s teens really need before heading back to the classroom.

12 Great Tweets Throughout the Ages

12 Great Tweets Throughout the Ages

Think Twitter is only four years old? History’s greatest figures have been tweeting for centuries. Here’s what Jesus, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, & others had to say (in 140 characters or less).

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

Tech products have some really stupid disclaimers. Here are 30 of the worst we’ve seen.

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

The Walkman at 30: An Exclusive Interview

Sony’s original Walkman turns 30 years old this week. He sat down with eSarcasm for an exclusive interview about his life and ongoing struggles with depression.

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

Every guy likes to think his manhood makes a lasting impression. Now, one man’s willy actually will live on in fame — and he has the fungus among us to thank.