Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Some Big News About Breasts

Some Big News About Breasts

Something big is happening in the world of breast research. Really big. Super-duper big. Are you ready for this?

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Our take on the Google-China saga, set to the tune of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”

Penises vs. Breasts: There’s a Map for That

Penises vs. Breasts: There’s a Map for That

Which country has the spongiest funbags and meatiest mantoys? It’s no longer a mystery, thanks to the miracle of modern mapping.

    eSarcasm Widgets

eSarcasm Spotlight

The Funniest Words From Google’s ‘Instant’ Blacklist

The Funniest Words From Google’s ‘Instant’ Blacklist

Google has banned hundreds of terms from showing up in its “Instant” search results — and some of them are more than a little bizarre.

Quickies

Something Smells. Oh — It’s the Internet

Something Smells. Oh — It’s the Internet

Get a whiff of this: A communications company is getting ready to test a new Web-controlled scent system for your office or home. Do you smell what we smell?

Hump Day Hottie: Justine Ezarik

Hump Day Hottie: Justine Ezarik

Meet the woman better known to Internet fanboyz as iJustine.

Video: How Hot Chicks Can Solve Facebook’s Privacy Problems

Video: How Hot Chicks Can Solve Facebook’s Privacy Problems

You can breathe a sigh of relief: Facebook’s privacy problems are about to be a thing of the past, and we have the hot chicks of the world to thank.

iToons: Osama Meets Microsoft In Hell

iToons: Osama Meets Microsoft In Hell

He was expecting dark-eyed virgins, but Osama Bin Laden found something else waiting for him in the great beyond.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Inside AT&T’s New Social Media Strategy

Inside AT&T’s New Social Media Strategy

AT&T is turning to social media to try to fix its battered image. After seeing the company’s plan, though, we’re not so sure it’s going to work.

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Seems like every tech company is coming out with non-tech products. From Facebook-inspired body spray to Apple’s magical iGlove, here are six hot products you’ll soon be seeing.

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Alert! Alert! Tech douchebaggery levels are reaching all-time highs. So how much of a total tech douche are you? Take our highly scientific quiz to find out.

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

50 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

If you’re guilty of any of these Facebook faux pas, you’re in danger in being unfriended by everyone you know. Consider yourself warned.

Casualties of Tech: 40 Activities Made Obsolete

Casualties of Tech: 40 Activities Made Obsolete

With every new technological innovation, an old activity becomes outdated. From heading to the arcade to wearing a calculator watch, here are 40 things either gone or in danger of disappearing.

10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

10 Fun Ways to Get on AT&T’s Bad Side

AT&T doesn’t like people e-mailing its CEO — but it doesn’t stop there. eSarcasm has identified 10 other actions that’ll have AT&T’s legal team up your ass in a hurry.

Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More

Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More

The search giant is once again in talks to engulf and devour eSarcasm in a deal valued at nearly three figures, sources report. An eSarcasm exclusive.